A Tiny Toast Eulogy in 10 Tweets

Tiny Toast Cereal

It turns out reports of Tiny Toast’s death have not been greatly exaggerated. The brand of crunchy, strawberry and blueberry-flavored mini-loaves has been officially absorbed into the Toast Crunch family of cereals, as General Mills and many suddenly cereal-happy media outlets (after the Oreo O’s news, no one’s sleeping on everyone’s favorite wake-up foodstuff anymore) are now reporting.

I took to Twitter this morning to succinctly share my thoughts on this change, and I thought I’d reproduce my retrospection here, since copying and pasting tweets is the only way to keep me from writing 1,000+ more unnecessarily sappy words about pygmy bread pieces.


 

If it sounds like I’m making a big deal out of this, it’s only because Tiny Toast was, ironically, kind of a big deal. For a couple weeks last summer, everyone was talking about it, with the cereal even earning a neat mention on Stephen Colbert’s late-night show. Tiny Toast was quietly billed as a savior that would herald a turnaround for slowing cereal sales with something fresh-faced and new. That’s why it’s bittersweet that this progressive, powder-dusted prophet eventually fell victim to the trend that may actually save cereal: nostalgia.

Just like with Pokémon Go, I’m still glad I got to be part of this Summer 2016 craze. The cereal’s taste really does hold up to this day, and it’s grown on me so much that I wish I could amend my original review to give both flavors a higher scorer—or at least change French Toast Crunch’s. Blinded by sentimentality, I gave French Toast Crunch a 10/10, when in reality, those crispy maple slices couldn’t hold a strawberry shortcake-scented candle to Tiny Toast’s, well, strawberry shortcake flavor.

And now that I’m already halfway to the 1,000 words I promised I wouldn’t write, I must depart. Rest in lovably loaf-shaped pieces, Tiny Toast.

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3 responses »

  1. I’m actually a bit worried about your (US) Cinnamon Toast Crunchs, when i look at this picture:
    https://twitter.com/cerealouslynet/status/871051987269373952

    Not that, out of shame, they unforeseeable puff up into a bread shape too. 😮
    I mean here in Germany we still have the Strawberry Toast Crunchs and the Golden Grahams (which are part of our CTC line), so i’m more worried, that we’ll never see toast shaped and blueberry flavored Cereal here, but the US CTC product line seems overwhelmingly “toasty”.

    They will never change (hopefully) the shape of CTC, ’cause that would result in the biggest shitstorm EVER, but i don’t get this step either…
    They should rather have merged the apple cinnamon Tast crunch and french toast crunch into the tiny toast line, but who am i to talk. Now they have a whole CTC empire, like with mini wheats…

  2. My mind is totally blown that CTC was originally going to be Cinnamon Tiny Toasts. Makes you wonder why they now scrapped the name two times.

    I kind of like the idea of Tiny Toasts being its own suite of cereals. Even French Toast Crunch doesn’t have anything in common with CTC (although this version was one of my all-time favorite cereals https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51wMyoRNluL.jpg). If anything that should have been renamed Tiny French Toast.

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