Category Archives: News

News: “Classic Trix” is Making a Comeback!

Classic Trix Cereal Box 2017

(Image via General Mills)

Grab your HitClips, Heelys, and old retainer, because Classic Trix are making a comeback, and since Trix are for kids, you’ll have to act like a kid to eat them. Otherwise some neighborhood ragamuffins will swing through your kitchen on a cartoon vine, call you a silly rabbit, and make off with your raspberry red, lemony yellow, orangey orange, wildberry blue, grapity purple, and watermelon bounty.

On second thought, you might want to leave the dental gear behind. Wouldn’t want you to be stuck sipping Trix yogurt through a straw. Continue reading

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News: Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios are Coming Soon!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios Cereal Box

(Image via General Mills)

By golly, someone is finally challenging Reese’s Puffs’ munch-worthy monopoly in the “chocolate and peanut butter cereal” market.

But wait…the call is coming…from inside the house?

Yes, instead of Kellogg’s, Post, or Quaker taking Reese’s Puffs head on with Chocolate Peanut Butter Krave, Pebbles, or…Corn Crunch, General Mills is just releasing another choco-PB cereal: the appropriately named Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios.

Dang, I would’ve preferred “Reese’s Doughnut Crunch.”

The only reason I can see for doing this is so that Reese’s Puffs have a thematically appropriate tag-team partner when Vince McMahon inevitably starts a Cereal Royal Rumble. My money is on Cap’n Crunch and Count Chocula, as they’ll doubtlessly just tear their opponent’s mouths to shreds.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheerios, which is flavored with real cocoa and peanut butter, isn’t the first time we’ve seen those respective flavors in Cheerios. We’ve had Chocolate Cheerios, Dark Chocolate Multigrain Cheerios, Peanut Butter Multigrain Cheerios, and plain ol’ Peanut Butter Cheerios (only abroad, with an appropriately nutty mascot). But this is the first time they’ve been paired together.

No word on when Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios will hit shelves, but I hope they debut alongside the return of Banana Nut Cheerios late this October, so I can mix them together and make a Bluth’s Frozen Elvis Banana Cereal.

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News: Steak ‘n Shake is Debuting Cereal-Flavored Breakfast Shakes!

Steak 'n Shake Breakfast Shakes – Cereal Milkshakes with Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Krispies, Honey Smacks

If you believe the clickbait headlines, “millennials are killing breakfast cereal,” whether it’s because they’re too lazy to wash bowls or because they prefer the portable taste of Electrolyte-Fortified Kale Rectangles to sugary cinnamon squares  in the morning.

But even if millennials are killing breakfast cereal, then it seems like more of a noble sacrifice for a greater good than a murder, because we seem to have entered a golden age of cereal milkshakes.

First, Burger King gave us two delectable cereal shakes infused with chunks of Froot Loops and Lucky Charms, respectively.

And now Steak & Shake, an honorable eatery that knows milkshakes well enough to build 33.33% of its business on them (though I prefer their flame-grilled ampersands), is adding 5* specialty breakfast shakes to their portfolio of plasmatic lactose beverages.

*I qualify this 5, because though coffee is an essential part of any balanced breakfast, Steak ‘n Shake’s Caramel Frappé seems laughably out of place here. They might as well have added a Scrambled Egg Shake at this point

We get three recognizable Kellogg’s in shake form: Frosted Flakes, Honey Smacks, and Cocoa Krispies, as well as an über generic Cinnamon Crunch Shake. This makes sense, since Kellogg’s seems to have exclusive milkshake rights here, and they don’t have a pure cinnamon cereal to bring the table—at least not without making Tony do double duty, negotiating a complicated Cinnabon cross-promo, or making a hilariously ironic Special K Shake.

I don’t know which flavor I’m most excited to try first—probably the sheer uniqueness of a Honey Smacks Shake that I can Dig ‘Em into—but I do know one thing: I hope they’re served all day long. Because if I’m going to be forced to eat 1200 some calories before 9am, I’d rather eat a couple peanut butter & strawberry Pop-Tart sandwiches.

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News: Halloween Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts are Returning…with New Printed Fun!

Halloween Spookylicious Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts Printed Fun

(Image via Kellogg’s)

Rejoice, fellow spook scholars, because Halloween is drawing ever closer. We’ve cleared the werewolf days of summer, which means we’re now beginning the “back to ghoul season,” and it’s at this critical period of pre-Halloween prep that we must savor every little scary detail we can find in grocery store aisles—because before you know it, Santa and his fleet of reindeer conquistadors will be edging our proud inflatable pumpkins off of front lawns everywhere.

These Halloween Edition Printed Fun Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts are a perfect example of the little things that make the coming season great. The box art alone proves that every bile-dripping zombie hand and ghost-emitting chocolate fudge chunk brings the world closer to perfection.

And Kellogg’s decision to mix up their established Halloween Pop-Tart design is the neatest trick and sweetest treat yet. Formerly known as Spookylicious Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts (a moniker which was especially terrifying for my spellcheck), these resurrected toaster pastries now boast a slab of orange frosting and fun, jack-o-lantern-esque faces—instead of the crunchy sprinkles of its ancestral Tarts. Kellogg’s website gives us a sneak peek at another, more arachnid print.

Though a sneak peek may not be necessary. Some have already seen these Pop-Tarts popping up in stores, alongside returning autumn flavors Pumpkin Pie and Caramel Apple. Since all three tastes in this Tart trilogy, which represent scaling levels of Halloweeniness, are delicious, I can safely say that the scariest part of this October will be the low number of costumes my ballooned waistline will be able to fit into after eating a triple-decker stack of fall-flavored Pop-Tarts.

I’ll be the one at the party dressed as a sumo cow.

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News: Banana Nut Cheerios Cereal is Returning for 2017!

Banana Nut Cheerios

(Image via General Mills. Note: this is an old box photo, as the new one hasn’t been released yet.)

It would be so, so easy to make a “going nuts” joke to open this review, but that would be too easy. I’ll hold off, because I know it would make you all go bananas.

Whoops.

But whichever gastronomical idiom you use to express your excitement, there’s plenty to be giddy about. Even after gifting us delicious new apple cinnamon and mocha cereals, as well as the sure-to-be-delicious-because-c’mon-just-look-at-them Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites doughnut holes, General Mills is treating cereal fans like spoiled grandkids once more by bringing back Banana Nut Cheerios, a fan-favorite variety that lasted from 2009 until late 2015.

Thanks to a tip from our friend Steffen (who has a great site about foreign cereals, if you have a translator ready), the above press release confirmed that the cult favorite Cheerios were returning to shelves.

We love you, Grandma Mills: you always did make the best banana bread.

Which is interesting, because while banana nut and banana bread are similara flavors, I don’t consider them exactly the same. It will be fun to see (and taste) whether the revival of Banana Nut Cheerios is exactly the same as before, or if it draws inspiration from Canada’s delightfully dense and ripe Banana Bread Shreddies.

Or maybe they’ll just subvert all expectations and make them taste like a peanut butter banana sandwich. Speaking of which…hey General Mills, people did love your discontinued Peanut Butter Cheerios. Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge.

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News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites are Coming Soon to the Freezer Aisle. And Your Stomach!

(Image via General Mills)

(Update: We reviewed Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites!)

I go nuts, you go nuts, we all go nuts for bite-sized, Cinnamon Toast Crunch-encrusted doughnuts!

General Mills formally announced their new summer product lineup yesterday, and while all the traditional cereals mentioned, like Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Blueberry Chex, have already been on shelves long enough for me to shamefully eat a family of family-sized boxes, one frozen novelty somehow avoided early distribution or online news leakage: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites!

Coming soon to grocery freezer aisles, Cinnamon Toast Crunch are soft, cinnamon sugar-dusted doughnut holes filled with cinnamon filling that turns warm and gooey when heated. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a Cinnamon Toast Crunch doughnut, and it’s not the first time we’ve seen a filled cinnamon doughnut hole—these seem like a spiritual successor to Taco Bell’s Cinnabon Delights.

But it is the first time we’ve been able to savor sweet, doughy cinnamon swirls in every bite within 30 seconds of open packaging. That’s how long it takes to make a Cinnamon Toast Crunch bite in the microwave, an I’m thankful.

Because that’s just enough time to scarf down an appetizer bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in anticipation.

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News: New Quaker Product Oat-stravaganza

New Quaker Oatmeal with Antioxidants – Blueberry Cranberry and Green Apple Fig

Oh come on, Quaker: give that poor ol’ Oats guy a rest. We all know that he has to hand-toast every single Quaker oat before it’s ready for consumption. It takes him hours just to meticulously craft a single oatmeal packet, and now you’re throwing a smorgasbord of new products onto his to-do list! His work–life balance is going out the window, all for the sake of our balanced breakfast.

Oh well, he’s a man who loves his craft, so let’s respect it by rounding up all the new Quaker products hitting shelves now. Above we have an extension of the brand’s iconic instant oatmeal pantheon: two antioxidant-rich varieties. I don’t know much about antioxidants—my childish self would assume you throw the packets in a room ful of your enemies to slowly drain them of oxygen, supervillain-style—but I know that the two flavors here are pretty unique. Blueberry Cranberry is bold for brazenly removing strawberry from the expected berry rotation, while Green Apple Fig is the first fig flavored anything I’ve heard of since the Fig Newton.

(I really hope this oatmeal contains crushed-up Fig Newtons.) Continue reading

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News: Honey Maid S’mores Cereal Keeps the Flame Alive

New Honey Maid S'mores Cereal with Madagascar and More

New Honey Maid S’mores Cereal (Left) with its Ancestors

Apparently cereal isn’t like baseball: there’s no “three s’mores and you’re out” policy.

Post, the Honey Bunch-slinging, Oreo O’s-reviving parent company of Malt-O-Meal, has announced that even after launching Madagascar S’mores Jungle Party, Canadian S’Mores Cereal, and Malt-O-Meal S’mores, they’ll be raising a toast(ed marshmallow) to one more graham–’mallow–chocolate cereal with new Honey Maid S’Mores Cereal.

Debuting this month (if not now in your local Walmart: check Post’s store locator) alongside a probably-far-more-popular-with-no-offense-to-s’mores-because-come-on-it’s-cookies-for-breakfast cereal, newly introduced Oreo O’s, Honey Maid S’mores combines ridged honey graham squares, chocolate puffs, and mini marshmallows to re-create everyone’s favorite campfire treat.

Well, almost everyone: I prefer roasting Cheez-Its for that extra extra toasty effect.

Though it’s unlikely that Honey Maid S’mores will taste any different than its breakfast aisle kinfolk, I’m sure I’ll still buy it anyway. If only so I can give my Teddy Grahams officially licensed honey graham surfboards to ride on.

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