Category Archives: Specials

Cerealously’s Top 5 New Cereals of 2017!

Cerealously's Top 5 New Cereals for 2017

I’m guessing that by the time your hangover has worn off—and who isn’t guilty of “eating too many Pop-Tarts” on a day like this?—and you’re actually reading this, it’ll be 2018. A brand new, arbitrarily-numbered trip around a giant fireball in the sky that we can spent eating sugary rings with cow’s milk while feeling nostalgic for when it was 20 arbitrarily-numbered fireball trips ago.

But before we crunch into the new year and all the squares and hoops it promises, I wanted to take one last look back at 2017 and the best morning munchies it had to offer. This is the third year for this tradition: 2015 gave us PB&J JIF Cereal, while 2016 bore the iconic fruit of Cap’n Crunch’s Orange CreamPop Crunch.

This year was a bit of an odd duck. For most of the year, there were few top contenders for a list like this, but then as 2017 waned and we all forgot about cereal to exclusively think about Star Wars for a while, Big Cereal rattled out a barrage of sumptuous selections came from some unseen dopamine gatling gun, to the point where last week, I had trouble making a list without hurting any inanimate foodstuff’s feelings.

Well regardless of how many upsets there are—I expect to encounter a bloodlusted Tony the Tiger in an alley behind Home Depot—I’m proud of this list. Feel free to make another mimosa and munch along with me: Continue reading

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Review: Cereal Time Cereals, by Gabe Fonseca!

Cereal Time Cereals from Gabe Fonseca

If there’s one tangible distinction separating the rank of Cereal Knight from Cereal Master, it’s hand craftsmanship of one’s own cereal.

And while I once (keyword: once) tried baking my own “Golden Dan Grahams,” that particular odyssey ended with a smoking oven full of half-cooked honey cardboard crisps. So even though I may be on the Cereal Council, I’m okay with not being granted the rank of Master.

Because after receiving a surprise shipment of homemade cereals from Cereal Time historian Gabe Fonseca, I feel like a corn-puffed Padawan.

As an awe-inspiring holiday gift to a select crew of cereal lovers like me, Gabe made four cereals, complete with custom box art and prizes & trading cards inside. So as but a tiny, Chuck E. Cheese token-sized token of my gratitude—and in accordance with my responsibility as reviewer of all cool cereals—I’m gonna taste test them all. Because after taking just one look at his cosmonautical Neil deGrasse Tyson and Hunka Hunka Burning Monkey, I’m convinced these mascots could fit in on shelves next to the Trix Rabbit and Tony the Tiger.

Silly Neil: theoretical astrophysics is for kids! Continue reading

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Spooned & Spotted: Trader Joe’s Hot Cocoa O’s Cereal

Trader Joe's Hot Cocoa O's Cereal Chocolate Holiday Box

Fight. Fight. Snowball fight!

I know I shouldn’t incite polar breakfast violence, but it just seems a little too convenient that, right after Hot Cocoa Cocoa Puffs broke the ice as the first-ever hot chocolate-flavored cereal, Trader Joe’s hops into the (powdered) mix with a Hot Cocoa O’s Cereal of his own.

So now there’s bound to be a munchy melee between these two well-known cereal champions:

In this corner, we have Sonny and his marshmallow puck-studded Hot Cocoa Cocoa Puffs! Though they may just taste like more sugary Cocoa Puffs, these cozy–crunchy orbs contain great power—and decades of cuckoo cereal clout!

Aaaaand in this corner, we have Trader Joseph and his (hopefully dark) chocolate dark horses! Though Smokin’ Joe the Trader isn’t renowned for his cereal—his Raisin Bran Clusters are perhaps his only belt-bursting championship belt-winner to date—Hot Cocoa O’s look like holiday Oreo O’s, and that alone is enough to sell more tickets than a Bob Dylan–Katy Perry tag team at Summer Slam!

Yes, I look forward to reviewing this hot chocolate cereal as soon as I find it—hopefully right next to the almond ‘nog so I can drown my early-sunset-imposed sorrows right along with my marshmallowy chocolate hoops.

Thanks to @OUATreviewed on Twitter for coming through with the find. If you have a merry cereal snapshot of your own to share, ship it via email or Polar Express on our Submissions page!

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Spooned & Spotted: Kellogg’s Donut Shop Cereal (Chocolate & Pink)

Kellogg's Donut Shop Cereal Boxes Chocolate and Pink

Okay fine, Kellogg’s, I’ll forgive you for egregiously misspelling “Doughnut” as “Donut.” Sure, it’s grammatically correct, but removing the “UGH” removes the rounded pastry’s inherent charm, making me vocally say…you guessed it: “Grrr! Arghh! Zounds!”

Even a pedant like me can’t stay mad when there are two new doughnutty cereals hitting the market. We’ve known that this Chocolate Donut Cereal was coming for a while now, but the surprise debut of Pink Donut Cereal, seen in this photo from a Marc’s store that was sent in by reader GM, has left me tickled pink.

So what does “pink” taste like? Well if it’s anything like “blue,” then I’m ready for it. It could mean strawberry, plain frosting, Chicken McNugget Pink Slime, or even Canadian Birthday Cake (a reader noticed the visual similarity between Pink Donut Cereal and a certain Froot Loops flavor). Whatever it is, I’ll still happily crunch away, because cereal renditions of my favorite breakfast baked good are hard to crumb by these days.

Thanks again to GM for the photo. If you have a cool cereal photo of your own to share, or if you just want to fax me a fresh doughnut, roll over to our Submissions page.

 

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It’s Halloween on Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca!

I still plan to write a few words about a certain spectral monster cereal before All Hallow’s Eve Ends, but I wanted to compound your Halloween cereal fun by sharing cereal spooksmith Gabe Fonseca’s latest Cereal Time episode. If you aren’t familiar with the series, it covers a different cereal each week, charting its colorful history and possible future.

This week’s frightening feature is perhaps Gabe’s greatest work yet. While I normally “watch along” and provide commentary, I don’t want to spoil anything about this one. So sit back, grab another handful of Goobers, and go to town.*

*Just two tips though:

1)  Be sure to watch this video on desktop or the YouTube app for the full experience.

2) Play your cards right, and you might just see a cameo from someone special.**

 

**Me. It’s me

Want more videographic cereal goodness? Every episode of Cereal Time can be found here. Be sure to check out Gabe’s Twitter, too.

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Spooned & Spotted: Barbara’s Puffins – Berry Burst Protein

This is a Puffins appreciation post.

For years, Puffins have quietly been one of the uniquely crunchiest and wholesome cereal lines in the cereal aisle (or sometimes the health food aisle—you know, the aisle that feels like Woodstock and a farmer’s market had a straight-edged child?). And for years, no one has been talking about them! Sure, the brand’s Stoically Unnamed Puffin Mascot may not have the appeal of Tony the Tiger or Cap’n Crunch, but any bird that can perch on a spoon without spilling its contents deserves praise—or at least a Licensed Yoga Instructor certificate.

Oh, and the cereal is pretty darn good, too. From Cinnamon to Peanut Butter & Chocolate, Puffins keeps it simple, rarely introducing new flavors. But now we’re getting the first new Puffins variety since 2015’s Limited Edition Pumpkin Puffins. Puffins PROTEIN BERRY BURST (their all-caps, not mine) is gluten free and apparently hitting Whole Foods already, thanks to this photo from friend-of-Cerealously Cereal Party. This is interesting, as I messaged Barbara’s Bakery about the product, and they said it won’t be coming out until 2018.

Either this one Whole Foods has a magical time portal to the future, or Barbara is lying to me as part of a grand conspiracy to deprive me of protein and steal my tender tendons.

Since I might not find this cereal for a while, I can only speculate as to what it’ll taste like. It appears to mix regular Puffins with a mixed berry puree (probably strawberry, raspberry, and perhaps blueberry), and the gluten-free label suggests it will be heavy on the corniness. Since the holidays are already approaching, I’m just gonna pretend it tastes like that one fruitcake that’s been stuck in an infinite loop of re-gifting within my family for the past 5 years.

Hey, speaking of holidays: when are we getting Gingerbread Puffins. I mean, the cereal already has molasses in it, and you could PhotoShop gumdrop buttons onto that Puffin mascot faster than I could re-gift a fruitcake!

Thanks again to Cereal Party for sharing the photo. If you have any great product photos of your own—whether they’re new, old, full of protein or full of gluten—we want to see ’em! Send them on over to our Submissions page, and they could appear on the site.

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Spooned & Spotted (Canada): Post Cookies & Cream Cereal

Post Cookies & Cream Cereal Box (Canada)

Whether they’re called Twist & Shouts, “Lickety Splits, or…*shudder*…Creme Betweens, off-brand Oreo cookies just feel uncannily wrong to eat. Even Hydrox, being the original chocolate sandwich cookie, just feels like the snack equivalent of a cheap bootleg VHS with hilariously mistranslated English to Chinese and back to English subtitles.

“Oreo: the treat that lactose loves to be smothering!”

And that’s how I feel about Post debuting Cookies & Cream Cereal in Canada, too. Though it’s ostensibly the same cereal they released as Oreo O’s in the States earlier this year—which was, in turn, ostensibly the same as Malt-O-Meal Cookies & Cream Cereal, which is also a Post holding—I can’t help but think that my brand-loyal taste buds would reject these crunchy cookie rings faster than my brain rejects the blasphemous existence of “Low Fat Oreos.”

I don’t know why Post couldn’t bring the Oreo O’s name to Canada—maybe border patrol would’ve “confiscated” them for “thorough gastrointestinal inspection”—but thanks to reader Jas A.’s above photo, we know that our northern neighbors will at least get to experience the cereal’s deliciousness in a comparatively anonymized form.

And hey, the box art is actually pretty cool! We don’t get enough purple candy stripes in the cereal aisle (come on, Raisin Bran: live a little!), and the cereal name’s stylized font looks like something that would be cross-stitched, framed, and hung above the toilet in a motor home. Which works here, because in my mind, nothing says “haphazard family camping trip” quite like generic cereal eaten out of flimsy paper bowls with lukewarm 2%.

Thanks again to Jas for the photo. If you’d like to share a cereal photo from anywhere in the world (even from my own backyard—I’d be impressed), mail it on over to our Submissions page for a chance to see it on this site!

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Spooned & Spotted: New Looks for Old Cereals

New Rice Krispies Cereal Snap, Crackle, and Pop Designs

Aside from hunting new cereals, Pop-Tarts and Hostess snack cakes (my secret passion—Chocodiles used to be my fudge-slathered white whales), one of my oldest grocery store past times is looking for box art variations of breakfast mainstays.

Sometimes the differences are nuanced and small, like earlier this year when French Toast Crunch’s plain red box adopted a drop shadow, but sometimes classic cereal boxes we’ve come to love dramatically evolve overnight, like metamorphosed sugar-encrusted butterflies emerging from their cardboard chrysalises. As we’ll soon see, French Toast Crunch just did that, too—and so did another long-beloved morning mainstay.

But before we judge those, let’s appraise Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s recent Rice Krispies plastic surgery, which I noticed while trying (and failing) to find those elusive new Pumpkin Spice Rice Krispies TreatsContinue reading

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