You may think that there’s nothing more delicious on a hot summer day than a fresh, juicy slice of watermelon. But true beach bums and Slip ‘n’ Slide savants know that a Watermelon Pop-Tart is is the more economic choice for warm weather refreshment. Just consider the benefits of eating a fruity watermelon crust quadrilateral over the real thing:

– Watermelon Pop-Tarts are seedless.
– Watermelon Pop-Tarts won’t ruin your white shorts with drippy mess.
– Real watermelons can’t be stored in your glove compartment.
– Real watermelons can’t be shoved into a toaster (without calamity, at least).
– Most of all, real watermelons taste like, well, water. Watermelon Pop-Tarts taste like zany water that went to clown college.

And while regular watermelons have gone for thousands of years without a flavor upgrade, Kellogg’s classic Watermelon Pop-Tarts have become jollier and atomically greener with the release of Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts. As the last Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart I’ll be reviewing, Watermelon has a chance to exceed the mixed reputations of its brethren: Green Apple is interestingly sweet & sour, while Cherry is like an egg roll stuffed with liquefied Swedish Fish.

With this precedent, I expect Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts to taste like ranch dressing.

These aesthetically pleasing pastries look like someone latticed Twizzler Pull ‘n’ Peel strands across a canvas of Nickelodeon Slime, which also sounds like a good idea for an abstract middle school art project or some postmodern Double Dare challenge.

Taste-wise, I’m going to cut right to the chase: this is, by far, my favorite Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart, mostly because it’s the only flavor that doesn’t just taste like a shape-shifted Jolly Rancher. No, instead of just being a blank stage for an iconic Jolly Rancher flavor to dance solo on, Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts perform a solid tango, with the best parts of pastry and candy alike getting to shine.

When eaten plain, Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart’s puréed-Kirby-colored filling really does taste just like the candy. I find it nearly impossible to describe what “artificial watermelon candy” tastes like, outside of “you’ll know it when you taste it.” It’s kind of like sweet wild berry flavor with an extra twist of tropical tang, as if some aggressive vines had hugged a strawberry patch.

But the buttery, flaky crust and granulated icing are in this game, too, tempering the filling’s strong flavor and making the whole Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart taste like, uh, exactly how its name sounds! Whereas the other candy Tarts buried their crusted heritages beneath their new candy identities, here have a pleasant balance that’s as nostalgic as it is Taoist.

Since it’s a classic barbecue tradition to throw a few fat hunks of watermelon on the grill, toasting my Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts just felt so natural. And American.

Sarcasm aside, hot pink watermelon goo inside a crisply browned pastry shell tastes surprisingly great. I’ve never had “watermelon pie” before, and I think Google put me on a mental stability watch list just for searching the term, but this is totally what a watermelon pie would taste like. The candied melon innards become creamy and jelly-like, while the crust becomes well-roasted and nearly savory. Perhaps not ideal for warm weather, I’d still happily serve slices of toasted Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart at a picnic and call it homemade.

At which point the park rangers would kindly ask me to stop crashing someone else’s family reunion.

I excitedly frozen my Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts, since “chilled” seems to be a much more natural climate for the famous fruit. And it was a great call: these Pop-Tarts are a must-try frozen. Retaining all the watermelon gelatin sugariness of their toasted form, with the added creaminess of one of those trendy yogurt Popsicles, a frozen Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tart just needs a balsa stick jammed inside to run your local Good Humor truck out of business.

Sorry, Bubble O’ Bill.

So yes, Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts are definitely tasty. Yet they’re still bound to have a niche interest amongst fans of the flavor, and they really suffer from not being compellingly different from normal Watermelon Pop-Tarts. The Jolly Rancher version may be slightly more syrupy and tangy, but for true melonheads, this is more of a cosmetic upgrade than a gastronomic one.

And that leads directly to my recommendation on the whole Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts line: they’re all similarly novel enough that you should try at least one, but your taste buds will probably be satisfied after one box. If you want the flavor that best exemplifies Jolly Rancher gimmick, go for Green Apple, but if you want the one that’s most well-rounded and routinely edible, Watermelon is your number one. Give Cherry a high-five in the supermarket for trying.

The “Bowl:” Watermelon Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts

The Breakdown: A pleasant balance of iconic candy and pastry flavors that turns into pie or Popsicles when toasted or frozen, this is a solid novelty Pop-Tart that’s ultimately held back by its comparative unoriginality.

The Bottom Line: 8 chargrilled summer fruits out of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, less than 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 pastry serving)