If you need a minute to process the title you just read, feel free to step outside, have a deep breath/smoke/Tums, or maybe just scream “It’s my money, and I need to spend it on cereal now!”
Yes, it’s not often we get an unexpected cereal bomb like the one Kellogg’s just dropped. Rumors about Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, and Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats have been swirling around the internet recently, but now that we have photo confirmation from markie_devo on Instagram, we’re free to let our country divide itself into a three-party system about which flavor will be best.
First we have Wild Berry Froot Loops. By mixing stars into the mix of standard corrugated rings, this cereal is sure to be a patriotic breakfast leader. However, its platform is pretty murky and vague. What kind of berries are we talking here? Blueberries? Lingonberries? Huckleberries? Huckleberry Hounds?? I don’t know if I can support a cereal that’s flavored with cartoon canine extract. There’s a reason they don’t make Scooby-Doo Cereal any more.
Then there’s Raisin Bran with Bananas, a cereal that immediately loses millennial relatability points for not calling itself “Raisin Brananas” and having Christina Aguilera promote them. Perhaps a bit boring (not even any clusters?) but no doubt an innovative and reliably tasty bet, this is one for the moderates who don’t really follow cereal politics, and instead just pick a candidate they recognize—we’ve all seen the sun before.
Finally, we have Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats. A bit of a dark horse—that horrific new mascot does not have a face for kissing babies—these Mini-Wheats at least know how caffeine is at the top of young voters’ minds. And after Kellogg’s recently amazing Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts (a good VP candidate?), if that flavor transfers over, Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats could really make a stir this summer—in my bowl, mug, or otherwise.
Whichever candidate (or banandidate) you choose when these cereals hit stores in the coming months, it remains to be seen if the flavors have staying power. Naturally, I’ll review all three, but the question is whether I can eat all three together without tearing a hole in spacetime.
I haven’t seen Infinity War, but I imagine that might be how it ends.
I’m sure the majority is going nuts about Sam’s new “Beery Loops”, but me on the other hand is more interested in the vanilla latte mini wheats and the “branaisins!” (or raisin brananas).
Sure, the Raisin Bran with bananas is somehow a save choice, ’cause bran and banana is a great combination and i also think banana and raisins pair pretty well, Let’s see if Kellogg’s is going to balance out banana and raisin flavor well. 🙂
And then there are the Vanilla Latte Mini Wheats. (😲 <– ME) If they are just as good as the "Dunkin’ Donuts Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts" (thanks again for the review, that led me to buy them you already know it helped me a lot while standing in a huge walmart, lost and not knowing which flavor to bring back to germany with the fear of disappointment lurking around ^^), they could turn out to be one of the best things happened to mini wheats ^^
I'm really curious about them and i'm sure you are too. 😀
CHEERS!