“What’s the best peanut butter cereal?” is perhaps one of breakfast’s most divisive questions—right up there with “is cereal a soup?”
(No, it’s not: soup is a concept, not a thing defined by its components. Please stop asking me.
There are many who ardently support Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch. There are others who swear by Reese’s Puffs or new Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios (or at least, 50% of them). Some weirdos (like me) prefer the salted intricacies of Peanut Butter Puffins. And there are still others (me again) who desperately long for the return of JIF Cereal, going so far as to rally a posse of choosy moms to voice their cause.
But while peanut butter cereal has long been a small, yet hotly contested category, there’s a new contender in town, one with a long legacy of peanut butter snack cookie domination.
Yes, Nutter Butter Cereal is real, and it is debuting alongside Chips Ahoy! cereal to close a trilogy of “cerealized grade school cafeteria treat your mom used to carefully ration out in Ziploc bags, like seriously Ma, only two?”, a divine cereal lineage pioneered by the great creator: Oreo O’s.
Nutter Butter cookies have always been an aggressively peanut buttery cookie to me. So I’m not saying I want this cereal to gum my tongue to the roof of my mouth like tasty rubber cement, but if I’m left smacking my lips like a confused dog, I wouldn’t be upset.
First things first: hey, Post, remember me? Let’s let bygones be bygones.
Yeah, it’s true: I criticized you for re-skinning Malt-O-Meal cereals to make Oreo O’s and Honey Maid S’Mores. And yes, you brought down the targeted wrath of hundreds of bereaved commenters when you changed Honeycomb’s recipe.
But with this Nutter Butter cereal? With these crunchy little peanuts that resemble two pieces of Waffle Crisp undergoing mitosis? Well, I’m willing to forgive all of that. Because this stuff is good.
Nutter Butter Cereal tastes exactly like Nutter Butter cookies: particularly the creamy. While these crisp little crosshatched figure 8s lack the borderline graham cracker-y base notes of their cookie ancestors, their thick glaze of sweet peanut butter flavor is, well, hyper sweet and buttery, with the kind of oily and candied peanut flavor that’s close enough to Reese’s Pieces to make E.T. throw his spaceship in reverse.
Actually, I think the most apt analogy is that Nutter Butter Cereal tastes uncannily like the innards of Girl Scouts Tagalongs (a.k.a. Peanut Butter Patties). With thick layers of sedimentary peanut butter cream and a lightly crisped wafer core, Nutter Butter Cereal is sure to leave you calling your local
dealer Girl Scout troop.
It’s this creaminess that keeps Nutter Butter Cereal from standing up well in milk. While these curled little Nutter Butter pieces scoop up milk like tortilla chip legumes, their caked-on PB icing is already so creamy that amps it up to an excessive degree. You know that soupy pond of peanut water that puddles on top of unstirred organic peanut butter? Imagine that in your cereal bowl.
Okay, it’s not that bad, but being the cream de la cream is just one of Nutter Butter Cereal’s few problems. It’s also crazy sweet—with 13 grams of sugar per serving, even I—who usually has the sugar tolerance of the bug dude from the first Men in Black movie—was left reaching for a cleansing coffee as black as midnight on a moonless night.
And sweet is largely all it is. Just as Cinnamon Toast Crunch is more cinnamon sugar than cinnamon, Nutter Butter Cereal lacks any salty or savory nuance to make this a cereal worth stuffing into a crunchy PB&J—a desirable concoction that could be flipped for every plastic-bagged Oreo in that aforementioned cafeteria.
But despite these cracks, Nutter Butter Cereal is an admirable nut cereal. With its nostalgic cookie-creme flavor, it carves out a niche in the PB cereal market that none others can touch. As a certain wise supercomputer (who I hear loved to eat Nutter Butters through its disk drive) one said:
“The only winning move is not to play.” Well played, Nutter Butter.
The Bowl: Nutter Butter Cereal
The Breakdown: The creamiest, butteriest peanut butter cereal you’re apt to ever find, Nutter Butter Cereal doesn’t just taste like a Nabisco cookie, but a Girl Scout one, too. Though it’s pretty one-note in its crazy sweetness, it’s turned me into a bona fide “Nutter Butthead.” Uh…wait…I take that back.
The Bowl: 8.5 extraterrestrial u-turns out of 10