Review: Quaker Corn Crunch Cereal

Quaker Corn Crunch Cereal Review – Box

There are some cereals you’d never expect to have a cult following. Honeycomb and Alpha-Bits are good examples. They’re classics sure, but unlike Cinnamon Toast Crunch’s sect of cinnamon sugar swirlers or Cap’n Crunch’s church of masochistic roof-of-mouth manglers, you never really hear people say Honeycomb or Alpha-Bits are their favorite cereals.

That is, until Post changes those cereals’ formulas, and I get gobsmacked by hundreds of torched and pitchforked comments from angry breakfast lovers blaming me for ruining their childhood memories.

Sorry, Bertha from North Dakota. I swear I just make dumb cereal jokes, not actual cereal.

Honeycomb rants aside, another cereal with a shockingly devoted fandom is Quaker’s Corn Bran Crunch. As one of those closet Corn Bran Crunch geeks, I wrote up a glowing tribute review to the stuff a while back, and the article’s popularity revealed that many share my niche passion for fibrous corn cuboids.

As comments kept rolling in, my fellow quirky Quaker-ers kept me posted on a developing narrative for our beloved Corn Bran Crunch. Tragically, the stuff disappeared for a while, and inquiring fans were told that a production error had put Corn Bran Crunch had put the cereal on hiatus.

But then it returned, and after the initial glorious hysteria wore off, something was very clearly different. The Bran had ran away somewhere down the line, leaving behind Corn Crunch, which, despite its alliterative name, allegedly tasted far different.

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Spooned & Spotted: Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats

Kellogg's Limited Edition Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats Box

Let’s just get this out of the way, since you knew I was going to say it anyway:

TRICK OR RICE KRISPIES TREAT!

There, now that we have the formalities out of the way, we can talk about Kellogg’s awesome new Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats, which have, apparently, quietly snuck onto Walmart shelves without saying boo. Seriously, this is a small miracle: so many products leak online before we actually see them physically, so Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats must’ve embraced the spirit of Halloween and costumed themselves on the way to the warehouse.

I bet they were hiding in a box of ironing board covers.

No word yet on whether these fun-sized (*In my Jerry Seinfeld voice:* What’s fun about less food?), limited edition Rice Krispies Treats actually have pumpkin and spice-flavored Krispies, or if it’s just a flavored icing bearing the brunt of the flavor, but I’m excited to get my hungry fingers—7 of which are already wearing thos cheap plastic dollar store bat rings—on a box to try ’em.

The best part is that Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats come forty to a box. So while they’re clearly meant to be given out to trick-or-treaters, I could totally inhale all of them and turn XL from a Roman numeral into my sweatpants size.

‘Tis the season of elastic waistbands!

Massive thanks to Marcus and Matthew S. for sharing this photo. If you have a cool cereal photo of your own to share, whether it’s seasonal or just really freakin’ sweet, send it in over to our Submissions page—you might just see it on the site!

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Review: International Delight Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Coffee Creamer

International Delight Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Coffee Creamer Review – Bottle

If you’re like me, coffee is as much a cornerstone of every balanced breakfast as a bowl of cereal—and the two pair perfectly like yin and yang. Seriously: just picture a yin yang, with one half being coffee with a dab of cream and the other being milk with a single Cocoa Puff.

My love affair with bitter coffee and sweet cereal is pervasive, so much so that I couldn’t resist reviewing a buzz-worthy new coffee product that brings all the whimsical childhood spirit of a breakfast cereal into the comparatively adult territory of caffeinated beverage flavor-enhancing agents: International Delight’s new Reese’s Cup Coffee Creamer.

I hope you’ll forgive me for not reviewing an overtly cereal-related product on this blog—though I promise this post will end in me pouring the stuff on cereal—but I’ve been meaning to branch my content topics into other breakfast staples, too. If you hate this idea, let me know in the comments. Or if you love this idea and want me to tackle Eggo waffles, scrambled eggs, or scrambled egg-stuffed Eggo waffles next, let me know that, too.

But while you gather your spoons and pitchforks, let’s revel in some socially acceptable liquid candy! Continue reading

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Spooned & Spotted: Pumpkin Spice Cereals Are Back for 2017!

2017 Pumpkin Spice Cereals Breakfast

After a summer no-doubt filled with complex hollandaise recipes and brunch casseroles with more strata than a riverbed, do you want to go back to basics for your autumn breakfasts?

Well it doesn’t get much more basic than these pumpkin spice cereals. *ba-dum-tss*

Yes, despite the lingering stockpile of leftover hot dogs and Bomb Pops in my fridge, fall has officially creeped its way into August, as the Four Cereal Horsemen of the A-pumpk-alypse have already hit shelves. All four of the pumpkin spice cereals you see above are returning from years past, and there’s no word yet whether whether we’ll see a new *cough* Pumpkin Spice Toast Crunch *cough* autumnal cereal for 2017.

Personally, I hope that all’s quiet on the pumpkin front to make more room for a caramel apple or candy corn cereal. Heck, even Cap’n Crunch’s Circus Peanuts would break the pumpkin spiced fatigue.

Based on how busy the next few months get, I may give a quick re-review to each of these cereals, but for now, here are some trading card bios to refresh your taste buds’ memory: Continue reading

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News: Steak ‘n Shake is Debuting Cereal-Flavored Breakfast Shakes!

Steak 'n Shake Breakfast Shakes – Cereal Milkshakes with Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Krispies, Honey Smacks

If you believe the clickbait headlines, “millennials are killing breakfast cereal,” whether it’s because they’re too lazy to wash bowls or because they prefer the portable taste of Electrolyte-Fortified Kale Rectangles to sugary cinnamon squares  in the morning.

But even if millennials are killing breakfast cereal, then it seems like more of a noble sacrifice for a greater good than a murder, because we seem to have entered a golden age of cereal milkshakes.

First, Burger King gave us two delectable cereal shakes infused with chunks of Froot Loops and Lucky Charms, respectively.

And now Steak & Shake, an honorable eatery that knows milkshakes well enough to build 33.33% of its business on them (though I prefer their flame-grilled ampersands), is adding 5* specialty breakfast shakes to their portfolio of plasmatic lactose beverages.

*I qualify this 5, because though coffee is an essential part of any balanced breakfast, Steak ‘n Shake’s Caramel Frappé seems laughably out of place here. They might as well have added a Scrambled Egg Shake at this point

We get three recognizable Kellogg’s in shake form: Frosted Flakes, Honey Smacks, and Cocoa Krispies, as well as an über generic Cinnamon Crunch Shake. This makes sense, since Kellogg’s seems to have exclusive milkshake rights here, and they don’t have a pure cinnamon cereal to bring the table—at least not without making Tony do double duty, negotiating a complicated Cinnabon cross-promo, or making a hilariously ironic Special K Shake.

I don’t know which flavor I’m most excited to try first—probably the sheer uniqueness of a Honey Smacks Shake that I can Dig ‘Em into—but I do know one thing: I hope they’re served all day long. Because if I’m going to be forced to eat 1200 some calories before 9am, I’d rather eat a couple peanut butter & strawberry Pop-Tart sandwiches.

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Review: Quaker Multigrain Flakes Cereal – Honey Vanilla

Quaker Honey Vanilla Multigrain Flakes Cereal Review – Box

Can you feel it, fellow breakfast clubbers?

We’re at the epicenter of a Quakerquake.

Much like the seismic phenomenon from which it draws its name, a Quakerquake is a tough to predict event that really shakes up the norm. It occurs when Quaker, on a whim, decides to release an onslaught of new products—often of shaky quality—to flood the breakfast aisle with various tan boxes that look identical to the company’s other thousand oatmeal receptacles. This is why aftershocks of a Quakerquake will often be felt months later: they leave the “NEW” label on their flavors so long, you won’t know whether the antioxidant-rich. steel-cut. all-natural apple cinnamon oatmeal came before or after the gluten-free, sugar-free, enjoyment-free apple cinnamon.

I guess with babies (and suckers) born every day, oatmeal is always bound to be new to someone.

Long story short, these new Quaker Honey Vanilla Multigrain Flakes are from the cereal arm of Quaker’s latest a-Quake-ening. It debuts alongside Cranberry Apple Multigrain Flakes and Oats & Honey with Vanilla & Pecan Granola. I chose to review this one first, because even though Cran-Apple is more autumnal, last week’s Shredded Wheat burnt me out on fruit, while the granola simply has too many ampersands to be trusted.

Plus, granola is barely cereal anyway. It’s like that weird cousin who ate gravel in kindergarten. Continue reading

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News: Halloween Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts are Returning…with New Printed Fun!

Halloween Spookylicious Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts Printed Fun

(Image via Kellogg’s)

Rejoice, fellow spook scholars, because Halloween is drawing ever closer. We’ve cleared the werewolf days of summer, which means we’re now beginning the “back to ghoul season,” and it’s at this critical period of pre-Halloween prep that we must savor every little scary detail we can find in grocery store aisles—because before you know it, Santa and his fleet of reindeer conquistadors will be edging our proud inflatable pumpkins off of front lawns everywhere.

These Halloween Edition Printed Fun Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts are a perfect example of the little things that make the coming season great. The box art alone proves that every bile-dripping zombie hand and ghost-emitting chocolate fudge chunk brings the world closer to perfection.

And Kellogg’s decision to mix up their established Halloween Pop-Tart design is the neatest trick and sweetest treat yet. Formerly known as Spookylicious Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts (a moniker which was especially terrifying for my spellcheck), these resurrected toaster pastries now boast a slab of orange frosting and fun, jack-o-lantern-esque faces—instead of the crunchy sprinkles of its ancestral Tarts. Kellogg’s website gives us a sneak peek at another, more arachnid print.

Though a sneak peek may not be necessary. Some have already seen these Pop-Tarts popping up in stores, alongside returning autumn flavors Pumpkin Pie and Caramel Apple. Since all three tastes in this Tart trilogy, which represent scaling levels of Halloweeniness, are delicious, I can safely say that the scariest part of this October will be the low number of costumes my ballooned waistline will be able to fit into after eating a triple-decker stack of fall-flavored Pop-Tarts.

I’ll be the one at the party dressed as a sumo cow.

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Review: Frosted Mixed Berry Shredded Wheat Cereal

Post Frosted Mixed Berry Shredded Wheat Cereal Review – Box

Well, well, well: here we are again, Shredded Wheat.

My first experience with one of Shredded Wheat’s new trilogy of flavors, which not-so-subtly tries top compete with Frosted Mini-Wheats by, well, frosting the brand’s iconic miniature wheat biscuits and stuffing (allegedly) flavorful stuff inside, was cosmically bland. I swore I wouldn’t try another flavor. I started smashing all square and/or thatched things in my apparent. I even told people I was allergic to wheat—just the sight of it, not the taste.

But after being coerced by a trusted source to give this Mixed Berry variety a try, and after (unsurprisingly) failing to find Count Chocula when it’s still hot enough out to boil swimming pools into holy water, I find myself staring at a bowlful of vaguely mauve biscuits.

Alright, Shredded Wheat. Let’s do this. Just don’t forget: bore me once, shame on you. Bore me twice, I’m going to start crank-calling the National Wheat Foundation out of juvenile spite. Continue reading

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