I’ve always wanted to be a Girl Scout.
No, not because of the cool turquoise sash or the fact that people would call me a “Brownie.” People already called me that growing up, although it was probably because of my fudgy dessert-based diet.
I wanted to be a Girl Scout because I think I would’ve been a darn good cookie salesman. Imagine a young me—cute as a button instead of pudgy and brownie-stuffed—rolling up to your house and telling you in great detail about “the tempting allure of a decadent, dark chocolate moon, so packed with refreshing swirls of cocoa and mint that when you taste it, you won’t know whether you bit the cookie or whether the cookie bit you back with a coy, romantic nibble.” No one would be able to resist that pitch.
But alas, this whole “Y chromosome” thing has kept me out of the baked good-hawking game, while my fear of dirt and complex knots has kept me out of the Boy Scouts. Now I just order tons of Tagalongs and tell the Girl Scouts helpful adjectives they can use to win over the next sap.
Now we’ve come full circle, as my cereal blog full of outlandish flavor descriptions now gets the chance to review General Mills’s new Girl Scouts Thin Mints cereal. As a partnership with the Girl Scouts, General Mills released this cereal alongside the Samoa-flavored Caramel Crunch, choosing to breakfast-ify the Scouts’s two most popular cookies instead of the tragically neglected Tagalongs and Do-Si-Dos.
And yes, I’m sure there’s probably one guy out there who’s really, really upset there’s no Trefoil Cereal. One guy.
Every Thin Mint cereal disk is roughly Cookie Crisp-shaped, considerably chunky with a domed top. I like how they’re covered with a thin, dusty film of cocoa sugar, as it gives each bite a soft mouthfeel. General Mills started this “powdered doughnutty” cereal trend with last year’s Batman vs. Superman cereals, but those cereals also had a heroically biscuity crunch that Thin Mints Cereal lacks. Instead, these micro-cookies have a hollow, airy crunch that’s as disappointing as hearing, “I’m sorry, sir, we’re all sold out of Tagalongs for the season.”
A dry handful of Thin Mints Cereal doesn’t have a surplus supply of chocolate flavor, either. There are faint ribbons of sweetened cocoa powder, just like the kind you’d find in a Cocoa Puff—the new, natural and dark chocolatey version of Cocoa Puffs, not the old-school milk chocolate smorgasbord—but its flavor isn’t strong enough to unnerve an cartoon bird, let alone drive him cuckoo.
But what Thin Mints Cereal lacks in crunch, chocolate, and animated avian aggravation, it more than makes up for in mint flavor. Whatever natural peppermint flavor General Mills used to glaze every bite-sized Thin Mint is potent and refreshing. It won’t burn your tongue, but it will still chill it like a French kiss from Frosty the Snowman.
Overall, dry Thin Mints cereal tastes just like the middle wafer of an actual Thin Mint cookie—but only that very fragile cookie core. It’s crispy and aerated like a mint chocolate graham cracker, but it lacks the real deal’s addictively buttery fudge coating—a chocolate coat so good I’d rather wear a human-sized version of it than my winter parka.
Worse yet, the promising mint flavor doesn’t last long: after two chews, it disappears and is replaced by the humble taste of cocoa-tinged corn. It’s like hearing an exciting knock on your door and expecting Girl Scouts—but it’s really just Orville Redenbacher on your porch.
I usually don’t consider mint and dairy to be a tasty pairing, ever since the infamous “chewing gum and cheddar” incident of ’04. But adding milk to Thin Mints Cereal changes everything. Why?
Because it tastes like a McLeprechaun Shake!
Let me explain: a McLeprechaun Shake is a secret menu item at McDonald’s, made by mixing a Shamrock Shake with a chocolate shake. It’s delicious and artery-endangering, and milky Thin Mints Cereal tastes just like it!
Milk softens the sharp mint, “activates” the creamy chocolate like a shook-up Yoo-hoo bottle, and unites the two in a river of creaminess. Even the sad crunch becomes the happy crumbliness of lovingly dunked cookies.
General Mills Girl Scouts Thin Mints Cereal: How the Cookie Crumbles
So while only fans of Thin Mint centers (all two of you) are likely to love this cereal dry, Thin Mints Cereal and milk is a solidified shake experience that left me with the shakes—and I mean that in a good way.
As the first mint cereal on the market, Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cereal paved the way for Junior Mint, Andes, and (fingers crossed) Mint Oreo O’s to perfect the recipe. I also hope this inspires General Mills to do a second season of Girl Scout cereals next year. Peanut butter and chocolate might be well represented in their cereal line-up already, but I could totally Do-Si-Dos leading Round 2.
If not, there’s always hope for a Nutter Butter Cereal.
The Bowl: General Mills Girl Scouts Thin Mints Cereal
The Breakdown: “Just fine” when overly minty and dry but a high 9 with milk’s Shamrock Shake-up, this first-of-its-kind cereal deserves an averaged score between the two. It’s a worthy breakfast, but I’ll still be dropping my spoon when I hear the real cookies come a-knockin’.
The Bottom Line: 7.5 smooth-talking snowmen out of 10
(Quick Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein per 3/4 cup serving)