Review: Starbucks “Pop-Tarts” — Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie

Starbucks "Pop-Tart:" Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie Wrapped

Despite what you may have seen or heard, this isn’t an actual Starbucks Pop-Tart. It isn’t a Starbucks Toaster Strudel, either. And it certainly is not a Starbucks Magpie, since i’m pretty sure the coffee chain’s aviary license expired decades ago.

No, Starbucks’ latest sugary coffee companions are the invention of New York baker Meghan Ritchie, and they’re called Megpies. More specifically, they are “artisan tarts,” which Google Translate claims is hipster-speak for “please don’t shame me as I dip this double-decker Pop-Tart into my Cotton Candy Frappuccino and accidentally spill some on my portable typewriter.”

Individually wrapped and sold next to the register, these all-natural Megpies come in strawberry and cinnamon + brown sugar. I can only assume this is a non-sugar coated (but still literally sugar coated) attempt to mimic Pop-Tarts’ two most popular flavors: Frosted Strawberry and Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon.

Since I’ve eaten enough Tiny Toast cereal this summer to give myself a not-so-tiny bloat, I decided to give the berries a break this time and give in to Cinnamon + Brown Sugar’s spicy temptation.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why I didn’t try one of each, it’s because these Totally Not Pop-Tarts will run you back $3.95 a pop, which is indeed more than the cost of a 16-count Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart box. That’s fine, Starbucks, as long as this Megpie has few shares of Google stock buried in its gooey innards.

Starbucks "Pop-Tart:" Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie

So this is what a Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie looks like. Maybe it’s my wallet talking, but this thing is pretty darn cute. And chubby, too:

Starbucks "Pop-Tart:" Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie vs. Chocolate Vanilla Crème Pop-Tart

When compared to a Pop-Tart, my Megpie is like the Mario to Kellogg’s Luigi. It’s shorter, but twice as chunky and hopefully filled with as much “sauce” as Mario on marinara night.

I nibbled into a naked, crusty corner, and holy mamma mia! This thing is doughy! It’s got the mild crumble and sweetly buttered flavor of a puff pastry, but I’d be much more likely to call this Megpie a buff pastry. The dense crust’s center is more elastic than it is fluffy. There’s nothing inherently bad about the idea of “edible pastry Play-Doh,” but it does feel a bit strange.

Thankfully, the too-thin icing is still able to give off a pleasant sheen of cinnamon sugar taste. Imagine someone took a bag of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, extracted the mountain of dust and crumbs that accumulates at the bottom, and whipped it with butter until it became a spreadable paste. I wish there were more of it, but since I’ve already eaten paste and Play-Doh before even reaching the filling, I’m just happy that I’ve gotten to relive my kindergarten days.

Starbucks "Pop-Tart:" Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie Filling

And speaking of the filling: darn you Starbucks, I need more of this stuff too! Just fill a mason jar with this goo and have it on my desk by 9:00! Bring pictures of Spider-Man, too! 

While the icing brought a smack of cinnamon, the tragically scarce filling packs a wallop of creamy brown sugar. Though a lot of its flavor is unfortunately swallowed by the doughy whale it lives inside, the filling teams up with the icing and crust to produce a pleasant overall taste that reminds me of a cider doughnut.

And anything that reminds me of cider trips, apple picking, and Halloween in the middle of summer deserves a place in my jack-o-lantern heart.

Starbucks "Pop-Tart:" Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie Toasted

I wanted to see if I could combat the rubbery doughiness by popping my Megpie into the toaster. But for whatever reason, it didn’t toast at all, and everything just started to mush-ify and melt like a muffin left out in a monsoon.

This wasn’t all bad, though. The flavor took on some interestingly smoky and spicy notes, and the end result tasted exactly like a slightly undercooked apple pie that someone forgot to put the apples in.

So while all 3 of you who are still here ponder that unnecessarily complex analogy, I’ll continue trying to decide whether this Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie was worth it. On one hand, I probably could have baked a batch of similar, cheaper confections using a brick of puff pastry dough and a turkey baster full of buttered brown sugar. But on the other hand, this artisan tart was freakin’ delicious, and hey: the store’s called Starbucks, not Starnickels.

If you have $4 to spare and want to experience a “homemade Pop-Tart,” I say go for it. I, meanwhile, will be shoulder deep in my couch, looking for enough spare change to try a Strawberry Megpie.

Who knows, maybe they already built a Starbucks in between the cushions?


 

The “Bowl:” Starbucks Cinnamon + Brown Sugar “Megpies” Artisan Tart

The Breakdown: Though it’s a little too doughy, way too under-filled, and a bit pricey, Starbucks’ attempt at a Pop-Tart is still thicker than George Costanza’s and tastes like a rectangular cider mill doughnut. It’s probably more socially acceptable to eat than a double Pop-Tart ‘n’ Butter sandwich, too.

The Bottom Line: 8 heroic pastry plumbers out of 10

(Nutrition Facts: 340 calories, 170 calories from fat, 18 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein per Megpie)

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest2Share on Tumblr0Share on Reddit0Share on Google+0

12 responses »

  1. Holy moly! 4 bucks? I can get a whole cake for that xD

    I mean it’s Starbucks at all (you already stated it). The “coffee” there is also delicious but something I at least have to see for and have to treat myself to. But I would actually favorite spending 4 bucks on us cereal here. xD

  2. I just got a cinnamon one this AM and it had a horrible after taste….tasted like chemicals. Anyone else experience that?

  3. Just paid $4 for one of these at Starbucks (strawberry). It was truly AWFUL. A micro smear of strawberry in between two pieces of cardboardy shortbread. A frosted Pop Tart tastes 10x better at 1/10 the cost.

  4. I just had a strawberry tart and I agree with Dennis – it was awful. It was way too sweet, tasted undercooked, and there was definitely not enough filling. If you’re looking for 280 empty tasteless calories, go for it. But, as far as I’m concerned, this is just another horrible addition to Starbucks’ bad food items. They just seem to get worse and worse.

  5. My brown sugar cinnamon tart completely crumbled as I attempted to break off a bite. Even the scant, dried-up, frosting fell off and in to little pieces! Pop Pies from Cake Monkey Bakery in CA are so much better.

  6. I like these little pockets of joy, though I agree that they are pricey and there is not enough filling. As for the glaze on the top, it’s ok but I would lose it and ad more filling. The Megpie would be perfect then!

  7. Loved the strawberry version I tried today! Great balanced sweetness and natural fruit flavour. They have a chocolate version up here in Toronto and I will definitely try it next…tomorrow 🙂 While the pastry is on the thick side it was properly cooked and flaky enough to not be too doughy. I thought it had the appropriate amount of filling. In fact when I look at the bottom picture in this article I would say that is an excellent filling to dough ratio not unlike mine today. 9/10 lip smackers!

  8. Okay, I tried a megpie and it was awful. Because it was just all pastry and hardly any filling. I’d say there was maybe one teaspoon of filling in the whole pie. It was not worth what I paid for it, so I’ve never bought another one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *