There are a lot of retro cereals Kellogg’s could’ve brought back.
Pokémon Cereal seems poised for a Detective Pikachu-themed comeback (hopefully without all the textured fur). OJ’s could fill the Orange Creampop Crunch-sized hole in my heart/roof of mouth. Or C3PO’s could return with special “Red Arm Marshmallows”—though I’m not sure anyone would recognize them at that point.
But no, rather than any of those, we got Strawberry Krispies. This 1983 cereal (with an early 2000s freeze-dried spiritual successor), is a tame choice—though I suppose it is a doubtlessly safer business investment for nosh-able necromancy than, say, Strawberry Crunchy Loggs.
But come on: that cereal was just a slow burner!
Wistful beggars can’t be choosers, I guess. Time to drown my crystal tears of extinct nostalgia in a few rose-tinted milk glasses instead.
By smell alone, I can tell Strawberry Krispies get 1/3 of their onomatopoeiacal promise right: the odor of this stuff Pops. Pop-Rocks to be specific. The scent of each ‘millennial pink’ puffed rice nugget is sharp and candied—if not a little cherried.
And on first taste, my ‘buds agree with my nostrils. For a cereal that boasts of all-natural flavoring as a cover story, Strawberry Krispies taste more like dried strawberries gently deep-fried in Go-Gurt than the real, grassroots deal. In fact, the ingredients list fails to mention strawberry by name anywhere, an obtuse exclusion that leads me to believe the list’s generic “Natural” Flavors are just a clever legalese shorthand for “origiNATed in our secret strawberry synthesis laboratory deep beneath the URAL mountains.”
The more-puckered-than-plucked strawberry flavor is actually pretty good, don’t get me wrong. It’s no juicily pillowed Strawberry Cheerio, but Snap, Crackle & Pop’s strawberry fare still makes for a pleasantly eye-popping snack. Its dry taste has the addictive allure of an uncanny fruit snack: too weirdly jellied to live, too straw-rare-y to die.
Yet that journalistic excitement turns to fear & loathing when Strawberry Krispies hit milk. It’s a stunning exercise in optically illusive disappointment, as the second milk touches these riced rubies, it turns Pepto-Bismatic in seconds.
But despite the world-record rapidity of this creamy chameleon-ry, the once-prestigious strawberry flavor disappears entirely. The already airily crackling Krispies revert to their previously bland and only Treat-worthy state, while the crimson tide beneath’s taste is likewise fruitless.
The only thing I could think was that the creeping flavor shot from the cereal so fast that it climbed up my poured milk downpour and into the carton, but a cursory chug assured me that it must have evaporated completely.
I’ll see what NASA thinks about it contributing to the ozone layer.
Very much a milk-soluble experience, Strawberry Krispies are a slightly above passable strawberry dry snack that provides an (at least) noteworthy interpretation of its namesake berry that’s both striking and familiar. I’m glad Kellogg’s gave the cereal another chance, but at this point, I’d rather have seen them pioneer new tasteful territories instead of reinforcing the snack biz’s retrogressive obsession.
Because as good as 2018 Strawberry Crunchy Loggs would be, I’d rather see them used to build some PB&J Cabins.
The Bowl: Strawberry Krispies Cereal
The Breakdown: Blurring the line between strawberry and slime-less pink secretion, eat these dry for a simple berry twist, or milk ‘em up if you need fake smoothie water props in a hurry.
The Bottom Line: 7 sentient strawberry nebulas out of 10
Strawberry rice krispies is the bomb, the strawberry milk at the end is every reason to “clean my plate”. There is no other c re real on the market I’d rather eat. I’m so depressed because I’ve only had two boxes and can’t find anymore
Please where can I get more.
Aww I loved them, ended up buying like 4 boxes since Thursday!
If this cereal is still on the market in the fall of 2019 I’ll be shocked. A rating of a 7 is a gift for this cereal. I’d give it a 2 or 3 at best. You give a good list of why this cereal shouldn’t taste so great but then you say that the “flavor is actually pretty good”. I agree with your in-depth specifics on why it tastes the way it does but the flavor, to me, is beyond horrid. However, I can maybe see how some would be okay with it at first but, with all of the other cereals out there, I cannot see repeat purchases of this product. The cravings for it just won’t be there like it might be with Cocoa Krispies.