Tag Archives: breakfast bars

Review: Trader Joe’s “this pumpkin walks into a bar…” Cereal Bars

“They’re called cereal bars, okay? It says it right on the box! I promise, I am not a monster!” I shout to the non-existent critics who haunt my nightmares and claim that my breakfast cereal blog has strayed too far from its flaky roots.

I’m not going to feel bad about reviewing Trader Joe’s conversationally named “this pumpkin walks into a bar…” pumpkin breakfast bars, because A) It’s the witching season so there are no rules and B) I already reviewed these bars’ little brother, Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain bars, so I want to compare the pair.

Note: I call Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain the little brother not just because TJ’s bars have existed longer, but also because of each bar’s respective aesthetic. Trader Joe’s pumpkin bars seem like the hippy college student who dropped out to join the Peace Corps, while Nutri-Grain bars feel like the 1st grader who’s still making fuzzy spiders out of pipe cleaner pieces.

While you digest that mental image, I’ll start digesting this “this pumpkin walks into a bar…” bar. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, breakfast bars, non cereal, pumpkin, trader joe's. 7 Comments

Sep. ’16

Review: Quaker Breakfast Flats Golden Raisin Cinnamon Breakfast Bars

“Gimme a fat stack of phat Breakfast Flats, STAT!”

Now that Quaker’s new-for-2016 Breakfast Flats—which come in Cranberry Almond, Banana Honey Nut, and Golden Raisin Cinnamon—are on shelves, you probably hear that phrase around all the time.

Or more likely, you’ve probably never heard it, since I just made it up. Plus, no one has used the word “phat” since the Taft administration. He was the raddest, coolest president, after all.

All William Howards aside, a fat stack of 3 plastic-wrapped Golden Raisin Cinnamon breakfast bars sits in front of me. Full disclosure: the main reason I’m reviewing these is because my loving grandmother gave them to me as a thoughtful gift, knowing how much I love Raisin Bran.

So this one’s for you, Grandma. Time to make you proud by photographing sticky glazed raisin rectangles. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, breakfast bars, cinnamon, non cereal, quaker, raisin. Leave a comment

Aug. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain Bars

I’ve never once eaten a Nutri-Grain bar for breakfast. So why is my breakfast blog reviewing these new Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain bars?

Well first, the box does call them “breakfast bars.” And second, they’re listed as “Limited Batch,” which is a much cuter, more exclusive, and more alluring term than “Limited Edition.” But most of all, Nutri-Grain bars hold a special, nostalgic place in my heart.

Seriously: whenever I have one of these miniature, flaky fruit burritos, I’m transported back to elementary school snack time. Even if I just smell a Nutri-Grain bar, my brain instinctively imagines the subtle odor of Crayola crayons in the background.

(Kindergarten me didn’t mess around with RoseArt.)

So because of my wistful relationship with Nutri-Grain “breakfast” bars, I’ve long wanted to review them on this site. And what better way to start than with Kellogg’s Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain bars, which are brand new for 2016?

I hope somebody brought the orange crayons. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: breakfast bars, kelloggs, non cereal, nutri-grain, pumpkin. 3 Comments