Tag Archives: cheerios

09

Jan. ’21

Review (x2): Chocolate Strawberry Cheeros & Multigrain Cheerios with Strawberries!

New Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios and Multigrain Cheerios with Strawberries Cereal Review - Boxes

Are strawberries anyone else’s favorite fruit? Don’t get me wrong, I love just about every fruit—pears can rot in the dry, mealy ground for all I care. But there’s something about the perfect pop-ability, late spring–early summer vibes, and shortcake satisfaction of strawberries. It doesn’t hurt that artificial strawberry is the best fake fruit flavor, too.

Seriously, if y’all got any pink Laffy Taffy laying around, chuck ’em in the general direction of Michigan.

Because I like strawberries so much, I will never turn down a new strawberry cereal. So when Cheerios introduced both Chocolate Strawberry and Multigrain with Strawberries varieties, I knew I had to tackle both in one straw-some ode of a review to my favorite, rosily plump fruit. After all, plain ol’ Strawberry Cheerios were amazing, so what could go wrong, right? Continue reading →

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07

Nov. ’20

News: Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios

Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios Box

General Mills’ upcoming Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios, releasing next month, has big, choco-nutty-buttery shoes to fill.

By the stylization of the box and typography, Chocolate Strawberry is ostensibly the next in line to the throne of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios. Since Choco-PB Cheerios is one of my favorite ever Cheerio varieties—it’s like a Reese’s Puffs HD remaster—I have high expectations for Choco-Strawb. Will it be potently powdered? Will the strawberry hoops taste just like Strawberry Cheerios, or will they up the puréed ante? And if they succeed, will General Mills complete the holy trilogy by dropping Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jelly Cheerios?

Fondue or Fon-dud, I’m looking forward to trying Chocolate Strawberry Cheerios later this year.

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02

Nov. ’20

News: Multi-Grain Strawberry Cheerios + Canadian Frosted Vanilla Cheerios

Let us all send prayers and psychic Gatorade to Cereal Life, who, as the online cereal correspondent with the closest connection to General Mills insiders, must be exhausted lately. For whatever reason, while Kellogg’s, Post, and Quaker have merely trickled out new cereal news, General Mills tips are spilling out in torrents. The most likely explanation for this is that, since January is the biggest time of the year for new cereal, and since most of Cereal Life’s finds are still in the sales sample stage, he’s simply getting a sneak peek at a huge wave of news to come in a couple months.

Among these bountiful chronicles of cereals foretold are two new types of Cheerios. First, the above Multigrain Cheerios with Strawberry Pieces. As Cereal Life mentions in the caption, a Cheerios variety with strawberries (rather than flavored with) hasn’t been seen since the Berry Burst line in the early 2000s—which, on an interesting tangent, contained the scarcely documented Cherry Vanilla Cheerios, first documented as a Cereal Myth in The Empty Bowl’s first-ever episode.

Granted, 2003’s version of this formula didn’t use Multigrain Cheerios, so at least this (presumed) 2021 version can be considered less of a bland reboot and more of a remaster. Continue reading →

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01

May. ’20

Review: Gluten-Free Cinnamon Cheerios

New Gluten-Free Cinnamon Cheerios Review Box

For one spice, cinnamon sure wears a lot of hats. Just like Sailor Moon with her disguise pen, cinnamon can be just about anything: the faint infusion grounding Cinnamon Toast Crunch’s hyper sweetness. The sinful spear wielded by a Hot Tamale. Or the soon-to-be-regretted cornerstone ingredient in the tempting elixir known as Rumchata (or the more nefarious, Fireball).

The point is that, though it’s simple to write off the likes of Cinnamon Cheerios as ‘just another cinnamon cereal,’ the rich historical matrix of cinnamon cereals proves that very few of them—from Cinnabon Cereal to Cinnamon Crunch Krave—present the exact same shade of auburn delight. So while your first reaction—as mine was—to Cinnamon Cheerios may be “oh, it’s just Diet Oat Crunch,” I’m happy to report that not only are Cinnamon Cheerios a wonderful gluten-free option for cinnamon cereal fans, but their approach to cinnamon is different enough to make both worthy of a place in your pantry.

But I’ve said too much: let’s start from the top of the bowl. Continue reading →

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21

Apr. ’20

News: Gluten-Free Cinnamon Cheerios

New Gluten-Free Cinnamon Cheerios

For whom does the Cheery Oat Crunch?

It crunches for thee.

In what initially feels like a redundant regression—imagine, after half a decade enjoying the GameCube, Nintendo dropped the N65—General Mills is bringing Cinnamon Cheerios to shelves as we speak. It sounds like quite the downgrade from Cheerios Cinnamon Oat Crunch, but since these Cinnamon Cheerios are gluten-free, they still fill an important niche for those who want spicy-sweet Cheerios without the stomach-upsetting starch.

As General Mills already has extensive experience with cinnamon in the Toast Crunchiverse, I have to wonder whether Cinnamon Cheerios will share CTC’s oh-so-sweet approach to cinnamon, or if it will be a more wholesome, tempered, and gut-warming experience. Either way, I’ve already heard early spottings of Cinnamon Cheerios in stores, so whether you have a vendetta against gluten or granola, these auburn rings might be worth (safely) seeking out.

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10

Mar. ’20

Review: Honey Nut Cheerios Treats (2020)

General Mills New Honey Nut Cheerios Treats Cereal Bars Review Box

Why waste time eating many small things when one big thing does the trick?

Such is the philosophy that has plagued cereal sales for the past decade—and for understandable reasons: breakfast as a temporally restricted concept is not what it used to be. For me, entering a workday with belly bloated rarely sounds appealing, especially since I’ve optimized my morning routine to essentially get me from bed to door in thoughtless, uninterruptible, and Rube-Goldbergian fashion. And clearly I’m not alone, as cereal companies have scrambled like diner eggs to adapt classic flavors for on-the-go breakfasting, while rebranding cereal itself as the midnight snack it was always destined to be.

But while concepts like breakfast shakes and mobile cereal receptacles are comparatively recent innovations, the world of cereal bars has largely eschewed architectural change, in favor of the tried and true “cereal bits bound by sweet-cream glue and shaped into crude rectangles” approach. Though I will say that in the case of General Mills bars, like these *new* Honey Nut Cheerios Treats, they’ve been getting smaller and lighter when compared to certain sugary bricks of yore (that can still apparently be bought, albeit only in cafeteria-friendly quantities).

I deeply enjoyed those aforementioned Honey Nut Cheerios “Milk ‘n Cereal Bars”—even if the freeze-dried milk sandwiched in the middle could practically be repurposed as sticky tack—so I’m interested to see how 2020’s slimmed-down take on America’s favorite cereal compares. Continue reading →

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14

Dec. ’19

“Review:” Honey Nut Cheerios with Happy Heart Shapes

Honey Nut Cheerios with Happy Heart Shapes Cereal Review Box

Would it be wrong to automatically give this cereal a 1 or 2 out of 10 without trying it? I mean, it’s the edible definition of <3.

And yet, this review need not include much critical thought at all, as it’s more of a news post with photographic evidence. To illustrate Honey Nut Cheerios’ heart-healthy commitment, General Mills is releasing these Happy Heart Shape boxes starting next month. You’d think this would be a Valentine’s Day promo to give to your sweetheart, but Buzz the Bee would prefer if you used chunks of ivory to grind it to an acidic pulp and pump the spoils into your beatin’ heart. Romantic, right?

Honey Nut Cheerios with Happy Heart Shapes Cereal

Of course, these Honeypie Cheerios don’t taste any different than the regular rings. In fact, only like 30-50% of the pieces are even heart shaped, making them look more like, um, naturally endowed thiccheerios. Worth a kiss on the cheek, right?

If you already love Honey Nut Cheerios, this charming novelty is probably worth it for the cuteness factor. Otherwise, there’s nothing HNC can do that Honey ‘N Oats Cheerios Oat Crunch can’t do better. Buzz the Bee may have my heart, but those granola shards have my soul.

The Bottom Line: 8 gloateous maximuses out of 10

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12

Dec. ’19

Review: Honey ‘N Oats Cheerios Oat Crunch

Honey 'N Oats Cheerios Oat Crunch Review Cereal Box

Okay, if we assume the “many universes” theory is true, where do you think ours falls on the continuum of greatness? Like I get that having a hospitable planet and intelligent life in itself would probably land us in the top quartile, and since there are any trillions of universes where humans just said nahhh to agriculture, we’re pretty darn lucky to even have cereal instead of Mutton Munchies by the hunted and gathered bowlful.

But is it wrong to long for a vacation to one of those slightly rosier neighboring timelines? You know, one where I don’t have the “cilantro tastes like soap” gene? Or the one where I actually am the omnipotent cereal deity old people in the comments section tend to think I am (NO I STILL CAN’T FIX ALPHA-BITS)?

Heck, I’d even settle for a very small ask: A world where Honey ‘N Oats Cheerios Oat Crunch is Honey Nut Cheerios. Like, the latter never existed. That’s how good this Oat Crunch is. At that point I wouldn’t need cilantro or soap!

Continue reading →

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