Tag Archives: chocolate

Review: Nature’s Path Love Crunch Dark Chocolate Macaroon Cereal

Nature's Path Organic Love Crunch Dark Chocolate Macaroon Cereal Review – Box

In this era of snarky infographics and predacious BuzzFeedian BuzzFoodies, it’s hard for anyone to mistake the difference between a macaroon and a French macaron anymore—though I’d argue that it’s much easier to confuse the French macaron with French president Emmanuel Macron.

Yes, everyone, their grandma, and their hyperintelligent pet ape who will one day overthrow humanity or at least star in a memorable sitcom knows that a macaroon is a shredded and toasted mound of sweet, sweet coconut, while a macaron is an ethereal pastel hamburger made of almond flour, powdered sugar, and filling pipetted with the care of a hummingbird whisperer.

And even though I knew this, just like Caesar, I’m still upset that Nature Path’s newest Love Crunch Cereal is Dark Chocolate Macaroon and not Dark Chocolate Macaron. Yes, that cereal would probably just taste like Chocolate Cheerios, but it’s the principle of the thing! I want colorfully crunchy cereal sliders so small White Castle would sell them by the Crave Catamaran!

But fine: I’ll sop up my tears with a bowl of this expensive, though likely delicious Love Crunch Cereal. Despite costing $4 and containing hardly enough cereal per box to feed a hummingbird whisperer’s daily clientele, the first Love Crunch Cereal I tried blew me—nay, propelled me—away with raw sumptuousness.

Now that I’ve got a safety net behind, let’s get with the propelling, Dark Chocolate Macaroon! Continue reading

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Review: Nature’s Path Love Crunch Dark Chocolate & Peanut Butter Cereal

Nature's Path Organic Love Crunch Dark Chocolate & Peanut Butter Cereal Review – Box

These ain’t your kid brother’s Reese’s Puffs.

No, while the most famous chocolate and peanut butter cereal is a sugary smorgasbord of twinkling cocoa spheres, downright pedestrian peanut butter puffs, and the persistent spirit of a million Saturday morning memories, the granola gourmands at Nature’s Path have conspired in their organically all-natural gluten-free ivory tower to produce a choco-nutty cereal with class.

“Look at those pithy Puffs,” one doubtlessly said. “They’re all the same. We’re capitalists, for GORP’s sake: we need a hierarchy!

Thus, Love Crunch Dark Chocolate & Peanut Butter Organic Cereal was born, ready for the well-mouthed silver spoons of people who can afford $4 boxes of cereal. This new Love Crunch line of flake ‘n’ cluster foodstuffs also includes Dark Chocolate & Red Berries and Dark Chocolate Macaroon, but my ennui about fruity cereals and boycotting of macaroons until we get a French macaron cereal made my first flavor choice obvious.

And really, how could I lose, when all 3 flavors contain weirdly specific fair trade Italian dark chocolate that Nature’s Path probably impulsively bought like it was Milo’s Egyptian cotton? Real chocolate chunks are like a cheat code for cereals. But I digress: let’s ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A START this review. Continue reading

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Review: Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal

Neapolitan Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal Review – Box

Neapolitan ice cream is criminally underrated. I mean, it combines the three most popular ice cream flavors (though I still can’t fathom how plain ol’ vanilla is more popular than Chocozuma’s Revenge, Chocolardiac Arrest, or any of those other “X-Treme Ice Creamz”) into one—sometimes even in snowman form—and we still hardly see it appear in things other than ice cream. Heck, even Naples itself has a flag that looks more like Superman ice cream than neapolitan’s iconic pink, brown, and creme.

And before these new neapolitan Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops, there has been only one other neapolitan cereal—and it was only released in New Zealand. I guess America will have to make the first kiwi cereal as revenge.

But enough melty melancholia. Let’s see if these strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate Cocoa Puffs are good enough to turn my local Baskin-Robbins’ 31 flavors into 401k. Continue reading

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Review: Mocha Crunch Cereal

General Mills Mocha Crunch Cereal Review - Box

I’m a coffee snob. There, I said it, since you were going to find out anyway.

Yeah, I’m the guy who lets creamer expire, who recoils upon hearing the word “Frappuccino” like it was a different F-word, and who orders small black coffees at McDonald’s while in quiet camaraderie at all the old guys who used their senior coffee discount to do the same. Perhaps it speaks to the bitterness of my heart, but I like my coffee potent and sugarless, with names that are hard to pronounce and pretentious flavor notes like elderberry or toasted marshmallow that don’t actually exist and were probably drawn out of a hat by a mischievous barista.

So while I can’t remember the last mocha I’ve drank, hearing about General Mills’s new Mocha Crunch Cereal still left me giddy (although that might’ve been residual caffeine). The online-only Coffee Cereal has the beaned and bitter cereal market cornered, so I was ready to welcome a sugary chocolate coffee cereal into my life with open arms that are holding hot coffee mugs so you probably shouldn’t hug me. Sorry, Mocha Crunch.

Now the cereal’s here, and a single whiff of the bag’s medium-roasted cappuccino scent has me convinced good things are brewing. No need to wait for it to cool: let’s dive in.  Continue reading

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Review: Oreo O’s Cereal (2017)

Post American Oreo O's Cereal – 2017, from Walmart - Box

Oreo O’s are back in America. This is true.

So naturally, this review is going to be unnecessarily long and rambling—but spoiler alert: not in a good way. Before we get to that, though, I figure a crash course in Oreo O’s 1O1 is appropriate. I’ve already exhaustively covered the cereal’s history in last year’s review of imported Oreo O’s, so head there for all the textbook-worthy details, but here’s an IMDB-worthy synopsis:

In 1997, Oreo O’s blessed us with its authentic Oreo cookie flavor in creme-sprinkled chocolate cereal ring form. Then in 2007, when the world needed it most, Oreo O’s (which had marshmallows by this point) vanished…everywhere but South Korea, where you could buy it until 2014 and then again in 2016. It’s finally back in America, 10 years after hibernating, and you probably heard about it 10 times from BuzzFeed in the past 2 hours alone.

And while I can’t prove that I am the world’s biggest Oreo O’s fan, that hasn’t stopped me from calling Guinness about it. So since this is my favorite cereal, and since I’ve spent enough on the South Korean stuff to rent an Aruban timeshare, you’d think I’d be beyond geeked to see Oreo O’s back in their home turf. But I’m not geeked. Nor am I freaked, piqued, or as the kids probably no longer say, “on-fleeked.”

Why not? Because like a Scooby-Doo villain, these Oreo O’s are not what they seem. Continue reading

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Review: Peanut Butter Cup Cereal Milk Powdered Drink Mixxer

Peanut Butter Cup Powdered Cereal Milk Drink Mixxer

I wholeheartedly support the powderization of all cereals and milks. One day, humanity will inevitably go too far and causes its own extinction by putting too much x-treme nacho cheese flavor into a single corn chip or attempting an Oreo flavor that tastes like God’s leftovers. When our food science hubris causes our downfall, I still want post-human lifeforms to enjoy Earthen snack culture by reconstituting old powdered foodstuffs with long shelf lives.

Hence why this line of new powdered Cereal Milk drink “Mixxers” is a step in the right direction. When the self-aware Doritos turn on us, I’ll still be able to savor a tall glass of Reese’s Puff-flavored milk while watching the atomic orange sun set on mankind.

And Peanut Butter Cup isn’t the only flavor, either. These innovative products, which seek to re-create the flavor of cereal endmilk without that daunting “eating cereal” part, also come in Frosted Flake and Cinnamon Crunch. And while I’d love to raise a GRRR-EAT Cinnamon Toast to all three varieties, these things cost as much as a family-sized cereal box. So I embraced my soul-deep Reese’s Cup love and took the choco-nutty plunge.

Now let’s mix this stuff into everything I have in my pantry. Look out, Chef Boyardee. Continue reading

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News: Oreo O’s are Coming Back to America, 10 Years Later!

New American Oreo O's Cereal 2017 Cookies & Cream

(Image via Post)

I’m Oreo O-verjoyed.
I’m Oreo O-ver the moon.
I’m bellowing “Oreo O-h yeah!” to the skies, heavens, and great sandwich cookie cosmos above.

Yes, friends, neighbors, countrymen, and dunkers: Oreo O’s, your favorite ’90s cereal or probably favorite cereal ever, is coming back. In the year 2017.

On the 20th anniversary of its debut and the 10th anniversary of its tragic discontinuation in the States, news has broken—and subsequently broken the internet in two like a twisted apart cookie—that Post has brought its iconic, cookies and creme flavored cereal back from our nostalgic memories and into reality. Of course, the cereal has been around in South Korea for nearly a decade now—a fact that I’ve well-documented—but its high price of important made it out of reach for all but the most “devoted” (by which I mean “questionably sane” and by which I also mean me).

These new Oreo O’s should be hitting shelves in early June, so start prepping some garage space to stockpile boxes. Heck: maybe Nabisco will even re-release S’Mores Oreos so we have something to eat during our Walmart parking lot campouts.

Before I leave you all to bathe in a palpable sea of nostalgia, this new Oreo O’s news does come with a cumbersome (or “crumbersome,” if you will) caveat. Malt-O-Meal, which is owned by Post, already released a Cookies & Cream Oreo O’s doppelgänger. This taste-alike is pretty good, but it still can’t match the dense, buttery flavor of the Korean kind—which I consider to be the true original.

This new Post Oreo O’s revival looks eerily similar to Cookies & Cream, leading me to worry that “new” Oreo O’s are just repackaged C&C and not, in fact, the real Oreo O.G. A Post spokesperson claims that, “Fans of the iconic OREO O’s cereal will find the product has stayed true to its roots,” but as, arguably, the world’s biggest Oreo O’s fan (wait ’til I put that on my resume), I have one thing left to say:

Be ready to put your money where my mouth is. Or something like that.

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Spooned & Spotted: Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal

Neapolitan Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops: Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate

(Update: We reviewed Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops!)

Drink it in, folks: Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops, the first (American*) neapolitan cereal, is here.

Err, perhaps “drink it in” isn’t fitting enough. “Lick it in”? “Cone it in”? “Do everything but bite it in because you have sensitive teeth and a chronically frozen brain”?

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we can finally taste strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate all in the same cereal bowl without Frankenstein-ing some weird mix of Tiny Toast, Life, and crumbled-up Halloween Pop-Tarts (I know there are many chocolate cereals, but if you’re going to be a mad breakfast scientist, you might as well go borderline bonkers).

Spotted at Jewel-Osco and graciously shared by fellow snack scholar The Junk Food Aisle, Ice Cream Scoops Cocoa Puffs appropriately combine corn puffs bearing the three fruity, beany, and fudgy flavors of neapolitan ice cream. Vanilla and chocolate have crossed paths beneath Sonny’s bill before, but strawberry is a welcome newcomer. It’s so welcome that it makes me forget that last year’s greatest ice cream cereal (and simply greatest cereal), Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch, has passed on to the great cosmic creamsicle in the sky.

Here’s hoping that if these Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops work out, we’ll get different frozen novelty flavors in the future. Superman Puffs, anyone?

Thanks again to Junk Food Aisle for sharing the scoop—literally. Got a freshly spotted flavor of your own to dish out? Spoon it over to cerealously.net@gmail.com for a chance to see it on the site.

*There has been a neapolitan cereal before…in New Zealand! As usual, Cereal Time time traveller Gabe Fonseca knows all about it.

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