Tag Archives: chocolate

News: 3 New Special K Flavors, Coming this January

Special K Chocolate Almond

Wow, three whole Special K flavors? Hitting stores this January? What a tr—hey, you: wake up! I get it, new Special K news doesn’t exactly wow me, either, but that’s not excuse to fall asleep in the back of class. This will be on the test, you know.

And hey, new Special K cereals aren’t always (entirely) boring. I mean, c’mon, there was that okay chocolate-dipped one last year, the genuinely tasty blueberry lemon yogurt one five years ago, and the cinnamon apple one from…aw, geez. Seven years ago? Fine, I agree: three above average new cereals over the entire tenure of this blog isn’t exactly a storied legacy, but at least the first of this incoming Special K trifecta looks promising. High Protein Chocolate Almond sounds decadent, and since “high protein” usually correlates to “high calorie” in the breakfast aisle, we can at least trust this one to be sweet and filling enough to be worth the effort it takes to chew its densely grained nuttiness. Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s Little Debbie Nutty Buddy Cereal

New Kellogg's Little Debbie Nutty Buddy Cereal Review - Box

You ever try to turn a great idea you’ve had into a real drawing, only for it to fall flat? Or maybe you’ve tried telling someone about a vivid dream, only for the magic to get lost in translation? Or heck, maybe you’ve simply seen any live-action adaptation of an animated series?

What I’m saying is, that’s basically how I feel about cerealized versions of existing desserts. Given the breakfast medium’s inherent constraints on acceptable delectability (though some really push the limits), we’re just never going to get a cereal that’s as dense, fudgy, ooey nor gooey as its namesake cake, pie, or cookie. And I think people understand that, but it’s nevertheless a little disappointing when something like Kellogg’s Cosmic Brownies Cereal comes out, and it tastes nothing like the raw euphoric indulgence we’ve come to expect from Deb the Dextrose Temptress.

On the other hand, sometimes you get the likes of Kellogg’s Oatmeal Creme Pies Cereal, and while it may still be a far cry from the real thing, the cereal at least takes its own creative spin on the source material and manages to be pleasant enough in its own right.

So with Kellogg’s third attempt at breakfastifying a classic convenience store snarf-em-up, it’s hard to know what to expect from Nutty Buddy Cereal. Guess I’ll have to just shut up, nut up, and fess up. Continue reading

Quick Review: Cookie Crisp Oatmeal

New Cookie Crisp Oatmeal Review.- Box

There are a couple of good (read: mostly lazy) reasons why I don’t review oatmeal on this blog too often.

1. It’s always so hot that I have trouble photographing it without steaming up my camera lens.

2. Oatmeal is such an ugly foodstuff that I have trouble photographing it without emphasizing just how ugly this grain slop really is.

3. I, uh, don’t own a microwave, so I’m forced to just pour hot milk (don’t even suggest water, you puritans) on it and hope for the best, which, in the case of instant oatmeals like Cookie Crisp Oatmeal, which straight up do not recommend my method, ends up invariably leaving me with a bowl of runny (and thus even uglier) mush.

But nevertheless, I endured these struggles for Chip the Wolf’s sake. And thus, here are my thoughts on Cookie Crisp Oatmeal: the good, the bad, and the inevitably ugly. Continue reading

Review: Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts

New Boston Creme Pie Pop-Tarts Review Box

Milk Chocolate Graham

Choco Graham Pop-Tarts

Milkchocolategraham Poptart Wheretofind

Why’d they stop making MCG PTs

Bring Back Milk Chocolate Graham Pop-Tarts

Ope, sorry, I thought this was Google for a second. You see, it’s been eight years since Pop-Tarts, for their 50th brand-iversary, brought retro flavor Milk Chocolate Graham back to shelves (it’s original release date is unclear, but way before I was born), and I still haven’t gotten over it. The little things were pretty unassuming and didn’t yield many rave reviews, but I adored them for their graham forwardness and the way they eschewed the fluffy filler of S’Mores Pop-Tarts to focus on that campfire treat’s real most defining components.

To this day, Milk Chocolate Graham is my favorite Pop-Tarts flavor ever, and chocolate Pop-Tarts in general are my favorite toaster pastry genre, so whenever a new Choco-Tart drops, I muster a few feeble prayers in hope that the new kid on the fudgy block will live up to the precedent set by the likes of Chocolate Fudge, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and yes, Milk Chocolate Graham.

Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts are the latest such Tart in the Brotherhood of Sweet, Sweet Brown—the first new chocolate Pop-Tart flavor, in fact, since 2020’s phenomenal Chocolatey Churro. But are these BCD Pop-Tarts an answer to my prayers, or the cruel curling of a monkey paw’s middle finger? There’s only one way to find out, and it involves wiggling my own fingers whimsically with a “don’t mind if I do” muttered in my empty kitchen. Continue reading

Review: Pebbles Shake-Ups!

Pebbles Shake Ups Review Bags

What qualifies as a successfully transformative “Shake Up” (let alone one with an exclamation point at the end) in the cereal world? Is it enough to simply “shake together” a bunch of existing cereal bits, or do you need to “shake in” something entirely new? Well we’re about to find out, because Pebbles’ new pair of pieced-together pouches represent both ends of that continuum, and I’m here to be the supreme arbiter—the Lady Justice holding the bowl-shaped scales, if you will—of just how good they really are.

So let’s do this, Post: shake up my stomach like a wedding-day bottle of champagne! Continue reading

Review: Wendy’s Frosty Cereal

New Wendy's Frosty Cereal Review Box

See her? That red-haired, doe-eyed dame looking all innocent at the top of this Frosty Cereal?

It’s her fault. All of it. The turmoil afflicting our world, the sallow tension draped over everything, the insidious doom oozing from every earthly orifice: or The Baconated Blight of Wendy, as I like to collectively call it.

You see, if Wendy’s social media accounts hadn’t decided to kickstart an insidious trend of sassy, apathetic, and terminally online brands, I’m convinced we wouldn’t be in this mess. I truly loathe the soulless snark of faceless corporate entities, and for that I can never forgive Ol’ Gwendolyn or her new Frosty Cereal here.

It doesn’t help that this cereal really phoned it in component-wise, pairing boring chocolate spheres with the worst marbits imaginable—but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s see just how Wendy’s Frosty Cereal fares in my bowl…

…and if I hear one cocky clapback from the girl on the box, I’m heaving the whole thing in a gravel pit. Continue reading

Quick Review: Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch

Reese's Puffs Cluster Crunch Review Box

Sometimes you just want the movie theater popcorn, with the sextuple pumps of atomic yellow butter that’ll leave your palms semi-translucent.
Sometimes you just want Chinese food from the place in the rundown strip mall, where the sesame chicken is so oily that the paper takeout container is leaking from every fold.
And sometimes (most times), my cats would rather eat the processed kibble equivalent of a Big Mac, instead of a freshly ground turkey pâté.

That’s how I internally rationalize any remaining appeal of Reese’s Puffs. Simply put, for me Reese’s Puffs are outclassed on every edible level by Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios, which really nail the sumptuous blend of milky cocoa and authentically nutty butter that I’m looking for out of such a cereal.

In comparison, the choco-PB approach of Reese’s Puffs feels cheap and hollow, yet weighed down by an oily processed-ness that progressively glazes your tongue with sluggish sweetness. And while that may sound unappealing, sometimes that’s exactly what you need out of a mainline cereal—nothing too high falutin’, just glorious garbage. I’d say I get such a specific craving for Reese’s Puffs maybe once a year, so I’m getting it out of the way early for 2022 with this new Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch. Continue reading

News: Marshmallow Cocoa Pebbles

New Marshmallow Cocoa Pebbles Cereal

*Throws hands up in the air with enough gusto to alter the flight patterns of passing geese*

Fine, I guess.

Innovation in the cereal sphere is often a weirdly all-or-nothing affair. Sure, we get intelligent strokes of sweet strategic genius like Apple Pie Toast Crunch, but a lot of the time it seems like if we’re not getting bludgeoned over the buzz-fed head with wacky headline-grabbers like Green Onion Chex or…meaty cereals, big cereal companies will instead play it super safe by simply making a sugary cereal more sugary—whether that means frosting an already frosted cereal or just chucking in a mittful of marbits and calling it a day.

Case in point: new Marshmallow Cocoa Pebbles. Pebbles are no stranger to marbits: from Dino Pebbles to Marshmallow Mania Pebbles, it’s well-trodden territory for the shaved rice crisps brand. Which is why I can’t find myself getting too excited about another (admittedly kinda lazy) marshmallow addition—even if they are using cocoa-infused marbits this time. If nothing else, as a purple-loving people cereal eater, I adore this vibrant box, but, uh, I’m drawing a big, white and fluffy blank when it comes to saying anything else interesting about Marshmallow Cocoa Pebbles.

The cereal has already been spotted out in the wild, so if Marshmallow Cocoa Pebbles sounds like your bag, run—do not walk—your stone-age car to the store ASAP.