Tag Archives: coffee

News: Coffee Mate Golden Grahams Creamer

New Coffee Mate Golden Grahams Coffee Creamer

January 2022 is gonna be BIG

…for fans of viscous cereal fluids.

Yes, Coffee Mate, the folks who already brought us Cinnamon Toast Crunch Coffee Creamer, are double dipping into the great big bowl of cereal inspiration for this shining supernova of liquid sweetener known as Golden Grahams Coffee Creamer.

It’s no secret that I’m a Golden Grahams fan—honestly, we need a term for that. Golden Grahamaniacs? In fact, I’m a big fan of all things graham’d, be they crackered or Teddy’d. I even find it quite silly that graham crackers were invented to curb prurient urges, because nothing gets me going like a coffee-dunked sheet of twinkling Honey-Maid goodness.

And now, with this GG (fitting acronym) Coffee Creamer, I can dunk my graham crackers in graham cracker flavored coffee creamer that I’ve poured in my coffee….which I’ve then poured into a bowl of actual Golden Grahams. I expect a Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure villain-tier ability to see through time to develop shortly after. Continue reading

Review: Dunkin’ Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte

Dunkin' Cereal & Milk Latte - Cinnamon Review

Anybody else see this?

No?

Well, while we were all out funkin’ and drunken slam dunkin’, Dunkin’ Donuts was slunkin’. Smooth as cold brew, they slunk two whole Cereal & Milk Lattes onto their menu without any fervor or fanfare. Even I wouldn’t’ve heard about ’em if not for Stewart M. tweeting at me.

Turns out the reason these drinks are so hard to find out about, is because they’re hard to find in general. These lattes are test market items only available in Detroit, MI; Wheeling, WV; Pittsburgh, PA; Oklahoma City, OK; as well as Houston, Dallas, & San Antonio, Texas. So while I apologize to all who won’t be able to try Dunkin’s Cereal & Milk Lattes without great geographic difficulty, hot diggity darn: for like the first time in test market history, I’m near one of them! I can’t help but notice that West Virginia is also on the list, leading me to believe Dunkin’ was deliberately targeting cereal’s two foremost meditative cereal podcasters.

Long story short, I bought the Cinnamon Cereal & Milk Latte. Even though the Marshmallow one is more visually appealing, I feel like marshmallow flavoring in addition to the “sweet cold foam” would just be redundant. But how was it? Well, that’s more of a medium story…medium. Continue reading

Review: Dunkin’ Donuts Cereal – Caramel Macchiato & Mocha Latte

New Dunkin' Cereal Review

Not since the egg predated the chicken has such a causality dilemma been posed: “but first, cereal” or “but first, coffee”? I’m sure you’ve seen the latter phrase emblazoned on countless Etsy shirts and flea market embroideries—right next to the Live, Laugh, Love pillows and fat chicken kitchen décor—but with cereal serving as a perfect toothsome preface to just about any activity, sometimes one can face cognitive gridlock when forced to choose between a warm mugful and a cold-milked bowlful.

But worry no longer, crunchy koan ponderers, because Post & Dunkin’ have teamed up to reanimate the Donut-slinging brand’s cereal division, which has laid dormant since Ralston stopped making their chocolate and glazed goodies in the late ’80s. Granted, these two new cereals are based on coffee drinks rather than doughnuts, but that simply gives you an excuse to dunk a real cruller in your caffeinated cereal endmilk.

Yes, it is this last point that makes Dunkin’ cereals so significant—there have been mainstream coffee-flavored cereals before, but none that dared bring real bouncy bean juice into a supermarket aisle already known for sugar-rushing young kids: the last demographic that needs more energy. Sure, Dunkin’ cereals only contain 1/10th the caffeine of a cup of coffee per serving, but if my own childhood cereal consumption velocity is any indication, those perky percentiles will add up fast—the length of a single SpongeBob episode kind of fast.

But enough pep talk, let’s simultaneously eat and drink our breakfast. Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: Dunkin’ Cereal (Mocha Latte & Caramel Macchiato!)

New Dunkin' Donuts Cereals 2020 Mocha Latte & Caramel Macchiato

 

(UPDATE: Just today, Post confirmed these Dunkin’ Cereals will be released in late August, with 1/10th the amount of caffeine in a coffee cup per serving!)

Well this was certainly more of a jolt to my brain than any shot of espresso.

Long-time Cerealously readers may remember a rumored Dunkin’ Donuts Caramel Macchiato Cereal that was rumored a year and a half ago, evidenced only by an image with fewer pixels than the cereal has grams of sugar per serving. But then…nothing ever came of it, which wasn’t too much of a shocker, since the cereal was alleged to be caffeinated, which seems like a recipe for wall-bouncing disaster to any unsuspecting parent. And Caramel Macchiato wasn’t the only bit of blurry breakfast gossip that never materialized—though perhaps hope for Cinnamon Honey-Maid and Teddy Grahams Cereal need not be extinguished by doubtful dairy just yet.

Folks, call your boss and take off work, ’cause Dunkin’s pouring us a doppio.

Snack_Alert on Instagram is the first to share proof that both Caramel Macchiato Cereal and a Mocha Latte Cereal are coming soon from Post and Dunkin’. Though it’s doubtful that these crunchy coffees will be caffeinated for real, they’re both made with real Dunkin’ coffee, instantly elevating this above any hypothetical Starbucks Cereal (yeah, I went there). Of course, Dunkin’ has big shoes to fill: the non-slip work boots of Fred the Baker, to be specific.

Dunkin’ Donuts’ original 1988 cereal came in both Glazed and Chocolate varieties. The cereal didn’t last long, but its colorful pastel box alone has made it one of cereal’s most unforgettable discontinuations.

Will the puffs and marshmallows of 2020’s Dunkin’ cereals be able to live up to this reputation? Well, without the ability to erase time and bring us closer to their uncertain release date, we’ll all just have to hunker down with some Timbits Cereal.

Review: Bones Electric Unicorn Fruity Cereal Coffee

Bones Electric Unicorn Fruity Cereal Coffee Review Bag

As much as I love cereal, it’s hardly a heartwarmer. On rainy days such as these, when the air is thick with mossy malaise and the rooftop drums in staccato spurts, a chilly lightning bolt of sugary milkiness straight to the gut isn’t as satisfying as a deep glug of hot coffee—the kind that blossoms in your belly like a rollicking rafflesia. Well, minus the corpse stench, of course.

I’ve long been a religious coffee drinker for such reasons of inner immolation, and while I’ve reviewed my fair share of cereal-flavored coffee creamers, never once could I even conceive that there’d be straight-up cereal-steeped coffee beans. That was until Empty Bowl listener Tasha tipped me off about Bones Coffee—a company known for outlandish small-batch coffee flavors like PB&J or Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream—and their Electric Unicorn blend. Not a new flavor but a recently reformulated one, Electric Unicorn coffee is said to be flavored like fruity cereal. As this is a nebulous bit of nomenclature that could refer to anything from Froot Loops to Raisin Bran (technically), I felt it was up to me to find out whether these beans live up to the brouhaha behind them. Continue reading

Review: Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats

Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats Review Box

I don’t know which age gap is bigger here: the one between the elderly countenance of fibrous shredded wheat and the inherent hip and/or intellectual youthfulness of a vanilla latte, or the quantum leap between that same vanilla latte and the disturbingly clownish/juvenile bootleg SpongeBob face of Frosted Mini-Wheats’ new(ish) mascot design.

Most know by now, but I have negative fondness for him. I believe his parents were a normal Frosted Mini-Wheat and a blob of radioactive sewage.

All Geiger counters in my Amazon cart aside, I’m excited to try the non-buffoonishly anthropomorphized Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats that lie inside, perhaps in a steam of powdered sugar.

Because Kellogg’s is one for one on Vanilla Latte sweets, meaning if they knock this out of the park, Chocolate Mocha Mini-Wheats can’t be far behind.

Let’s hasten history!

Continue reading

Review: Coffee Nut M&M’s (Flavor Vote Winner)

Winning Flavor Coffee Nut M&M's Wrapper

You probably don’t need to be reminded that this U.S. presidential election is already nuts.

So why don’t we just elect a bag of Coffee Nut M&M’s into the Oval Office, instead?

I mean, just look at them: they have perky energy, calm suaveness from their muted earth tones, and they understand the youth vote’s fascination with trendy caffeine ‘n’ sugar beverages. And I promise: unlike the two candidates who will be on ballots this November, Coffee Nut M&M’s won’t get into a petty flame war on Twitter.

Not to mention the fact that they have prior political experience. If you remember earlier this March, Mars Candy hosted an M&M’s “flavor vote election,” pitting Coffee Nut M&M’s against Chili Nut M&M’s and fan-favorite Honey Nut M&M’s.

Okay fine: Honey Nut was just a Dan-favorite.

It turns out that Coffee Nut was America’s favorite, and as part of its victory rally, it will be staying on grocery store shelves and in my stomach from here on out. To celebrate President Coffee Nut’s win, I’m going to proudly shake his hand—by which I mean I’m going to shamefully shake the entire contents of his pouch into my own hand.

Because despite what the new Coffee Nut M&M’s packaging says, I refuse to share. Continue reading

Review: Coffee Cereal — Original & Café Mocha

Coffee Cereal Bags

Now this is a fun one, cereal fans. I’ve been meaning to try Coffee Cereal for a long time: long before I even knew it actually existed.

See, back in high school, I was given one of those clichéd school projects, the kind you see Urkel and the Olsen twins struggle with on ’90s sitcoms. My challenge was to think of and prototype an invention, an invention no one had thought of before.

Since I ate cereal and drank coffee every morning (and ate lunch alone, probably because of the whole coffee snobbery), I had the genius idea of inventing a coffee cereal. I was all prepared to start designing “Cappuccin-O’s” boxes and rolling Cheerios in espresso powder, but then I found out that Coffee Cereal already exists, made by a small company in Missouri.

Into the metaphorical and literal trash my idea went.

Years later, I’ve finally gotten over my bitterness (though I still drink bitter coffee), and now I’m ready to review the real thing.  Continue reading