Tag Archives: halloween

Review: Boo Berry Monster Cereal (2017)

General Mills Boo Berry Monster Cereal 2017 Review Box

And the 2017 “Most Improved Monster” award goes to…Boo Berry!

Yes, it’s true, everyone’s favorite indigo apparition has stepped up his game this year—in my past two years of Boo Berry reviews, his dubiously ambiguous and ambiguously dubious “fruit flavor” has lived in Count Chocula and Franken Berry‘s shadows. Ironic, for someone who’s essentially an anthropomorphized blue shadow.

But before we give Boo his third annual taste test, I have an important announcement: Happy Halloween! May your night be full of macabre merriment and no fewer than 8 fun-sized Snickers—and by “fun-sized” I mean “king-sized” because that’s where the real fun is.

Closing out this monster cereal review trilogy feels like a fitting way to celebrate—that’s why I originally wrote this review by stupidly replacing every instance of the “oo” vowel sound with “boo,” but switched back because it was unreadable.

Okay fine, I didn’t actually do this—but self-deprecation is the key to successful blogging, and man I sure am dumb! Continue reading

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It’s Halloween on Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca!

I still plan to write a few words about a certain spectral monster cereal before All Hallow’s Eve Ends, but I wanted to compound your Halloween cereal fun by sharing cereal spooksmith Gabe Fonseca’s latest Cereal Time episode. If you aren’t familiar with the series, it covers a different cereal each week, charting its colorful history and possible future.

This week’s frightening feature is perhaps Gabe’s greatest work yet. While I normally “watch along” and provide commentary, I don’t want to spoil anything about this one. So sit back, grab another handful of Goobers, and go to town.*

*Just two tips though:

1)  Be sure to watch this video on desktop or the YouTube app for the full experience.

2) Play your cards right, and you might just see a cameo from someone special.**

 

**Me. It’s me

Want more videographic cereal goodness? Every episode of Cereal Time can be found here. Be sure to check out Gabe’s Twitter, too.

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Review: Nature’s Path Organic Frosted Pumpkin Pie Toaster Pastries

Nature's Path Organic Frosted Pumpkin Pie Toaster Pastries Review Box

It’s like that old children’s book:

If you make a Pop-Tart organic, it’ll want a typewriter to tell people about it.
If you give that Pop-Tart a typewriter, it’ll need thick-rimmed glasses to see the keys.
When you give it thick-rimmed glasses, the Pop-Tart will need to know the proper pronunciation of “quinoa” for its upcoming poetry slam…

I jest, but Nature’s Path Organic’s toaster pastries are, in my mind’s eye, Hipster Pop-Tarts. And just like Trader John Misty—err, I mean, “Joe”—Nature’s Path has a sleek, pumpkin spiced pastry to compete with Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts: Kellogg’s big guns.

(And we all know Pop-Tart guns should be taken seriously.) Continue reading

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Review: Franken Berry Cereal (2017)

Franken Berry Monster Cereal Marshmallows Strawberry 2017 Review – Box

For those about to rock read my third annual review of the exact same cereal, we salute you!

Listen, Frank. Can I call you Frankie? Francis? Franco-Prussian War?

You know I love you, man. It’s true, it’s true: I tell people I love the taste of Count Chocula the best—not counting my estranged (emphasis on the strange) love, Fruity Yummy Mummy, who’s currently jamming to “Walk Like an Egyptian” in some funky undead pyramid disco in the sky.

But from an aesthetic standpoint, I like you best. I promise. No I don’t mean you, you. Let’s be real here: Boo Berry is both suaver and cuter in his debonair porkpie hat. I’d let him take me to the Poltergeist Prom any day. No way my father would let me get picked up by a pink dude with steampunk apparatuses on his neck. We live in the clean energy age, Francesco.

But your cereal? Those neon pink ghosts and pastel marshmallows? The pastel marshmallows that make the whole thing feel like a Taiwanese night market?
Hoo, doggy! Or should I say, A-WOO, werewolfy!

François, your artificially strawberry-flavored cereal is the prettiest I’ve ever seen. I’d hang it on my refrigerator if it contained enough magnesium per serving (I don’t understand how magnets work). But for now, I have to eat it. So let’s forget about the Count, forget that I just swooned so hard over Boo Berry that I crashed through your coffee table, and let’s have Franken Berry for breakfast. Continue reading

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Review: Count Chocula Monster Cereal (2017)

2017 Count Chocula Monster Cereal Review – Box

I feel like I’m starring in a movie trailer for an unnecessary 2017 reboot of a classic ’80s film. You know, the kind of trailer that inevitably starts with all the wizened and crow-footed stars of the first movie reuniting in their old haunt to topically argue about how things just aren’t as good as they used to be and crack jokes about iPads?

Yeah, that’s how I feel about buying my 2017 box of Count Chocula, because those trailers always open with someone muttering the same line: “Well, here we are again.” Or maybe, “Hello, old friend.” Or even, “Y’all haven’t aged a day.”

Even though a year has passed since I’ve tasted the Count’s sweet cocoa spoils (not counting the expired box I found in my pantry and begrudgingly—though not regretfully—ate on the 4th of July), I feel like this caped chocolate cruncher has never left my side. Like a warm memory or a Tamagotchi that just won’t die, the nostalgic spookiness of Count Chocula—who’s been on shelves for 46 years now, despite being an ageless vampire—is resonant enough to keep me thinking about old elementary school Halloween parties and goofy candy corn cupcakes all year long.

So while I’m sure I won’t find much new to say about Count Chocula’s taste that I haven’t said in previous reviews, I owe this trusty Hershey’s syrup-blooded bloodsucker his annual tribute. Let’s sharpen our canines and start munchin’! Continue reading

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Review: Halloween Chocolate Fudge Printed Fun Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's Halloween Edition Printed Fun Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts Review – Box

Halloween is about the little things.

Ask any full-blooded (or at least fake-blood-slathered) Halloween lover, and I’m sure most will agree. While haunted houses, parties, and handing out candy on The Big XXXI Day itself are the holiday’s main events, savoring little spooky moments is the key to feeling merrily macabre from the start of back-to-school season ’til the end of back-to-the-cardboard-box-ghouls-in my basement season.

These bite-sized boos can be anything—or anywhere. Glimpsing a well-loved plastic goblin in a thrift store. Marathoning all the Halloween movies and spending the next week fearing any mention of William Shatner. Camping out in a Spirit Halloween with an industrial carton of Whoppers and flipping through old Goosebumps books until the staff gets scared of you.

Or maybe it’s just eating one (or thirty one) of Kellogg’s “new” Halloween Chocolate Fudge Printed Fun Pop-Tarts. It’s long been a Pop-Tartian tradition to adorn their Chocolate Fudge flavor with full Hallo-regalia (why Chocolate Fudge, I don’t know—maybe because it’s pretty much a king-sized candy bar that’s socially acceptable to eat for breakfast?), but previous years have only seen this ghost-er pastry wearing orange frosting and crunchy sprinkle shapes.

But now Kellogg’s has beautifully spurned their sprinkled tradition in favor of something somehow even better: printed scary shapes on every neon orange-blasted, baked fudge rectangle! Drink that box art in for a minute while I grab the plates, glasses of milk, and altars to worship that top cartoon ghost at.

He looks like a spectral Pikachu tail. Continue reading

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Spooned & Spotted: Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats

Kellogg's Limited Edition Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats Box

Let’s just get this out of the way, since you knew I was going to say it anyway:

TRICK OR RICE KRISPIES TREAT!

There, now that we have the formalities out of the way, we can talk about Kellogg’s awesome new Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats, which have, apparently, quietly snuck onto Walmart shelves without saying boo. Seriously, this is a small miracle: so many products leak online before we actually see them physically, so Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats must’ve embraced the spirit of Halloween and costumed themselves on the way to the warehouse.

I bet they were hiding in a box of ironing board covers.

No word yet on whether these fun-sized (*In my Jerry Seinfeld voice:* What’s fun about less food?), limited edition Rice Krispies Treats actually have pumpkin and spice-flavored Krispies, or if it’s just a flavored icing bearing the brunt of the flavor, but I’m excited to get my hungry fingers—7 of which are already wearing thos cheap plastic dollar store bat rings—on a box to try ’em.

The best part is that Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats come forty to a box. So while they’re clearly meant to be given out to trick-or-treaters, I could totally inhale all of them and turn XL from a Roman numeral into my sweatpants size.

‘Tis the season of elastic waistbands!

Massive thanks to Marcus and Matthew S. for sharing this photo. If you have a cool cereal photo of your own to share, whether it’s seasonal or just really freakin’ sweet, send it in over to our Submissions page—you might just see it on the site!

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Spooned & Spotted: Pumpkin Spice Cereals Are Back for 2017!

2017 Pumpkin Spice Cereals Breakfast

After a summer no-doubt filled with complex hollandaise recipes and brunch casseroles with more strata than a riverbed, do you want to go back to basics for your autumn breakfasts?

Well it doesn’t get much more basic than these pumpkin spice cereals. *ba-dum-tss*

Yes, despite the lingering stockpile of leftover hot dogs and Bomb Pops in my fridge, fall has officially creeped its way into August, as the Four Cereal Horsemen of the A-pumpk-alypse have already hit shelves. All four of the pumpkin spice cereals you see above are returning from years past, and there’s no word yet whether whether we’ll see a new *cough* Pumpkin Spice Toast Crunch *cough* autumnal cereal for 2017.

Personally, I hope that all’s quiet on the pumpkin front to make more room for a caramel apple or candy corn cereal. Heck, even Cap’n Crunch’s Circus Peanuts would break the pumpkin spiced fatigue.

Based on how busy the next few months get, I may give a quick re-review to each of these cereals, but for now, here are some trading card bios to refresh your taste buds’ memory: Continue reading

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