Tag Archives: honey

Review: Rhett & Link’s Mythical MishMash Cereals: Sweet Mac N’ Mello & Peanut Butter N’ Honey Sandwich

I know what you’re thinking: two affable online fellas with a whimsical talk show get their own cereal and it’s not me and Justin? Heresy. But hey, as much as I’d love to create an official Empty Bowl Cereal (it would be strawberry-flavored crunchy bowls with yogurt clusters, of course), our niche popularity pales like skim milk compared to the vast cultural capital of Rhett & Link, known for Good Mythical Morning and a whole bunch of other successful enterprises from their long history of entertaining the internet.

After all, it takes a lot of time, money, and resources to make your own cereal from scratch. Or at least, I assume it does…I’ve never really looked into it, because it takes a lot of time, money, and resources. Or at least, I assume it does.

That’s why Rhett & Link partnered with “an inventive and industry-leading production facility that specializes in cereal” to make this happen: MishMash Cereal, in two debut flavors. What’s MishMash all about? Here’s what it says on the side of every box:

“Since when did the cereal aisle get so…serious? Leave the seeds to the birds and the fiber to your broccoli. MishMash founders Rhett & Link grew up in the ’80s when your cereal was repped by a cool cartoon mascot, and the back of the box was kinda sweet, just like the cereal. It’s time to bring back the flavor and fun, so we’re MishMash-ing unique flavors, wacky shapes, and curious concepts into cereals that are meant to be played with. Take a morning trip down memory lane, get your daily dose of shenanigans at snack time, or indulge your midnight munchies with a cereal-y dessert. Whatever the reason, we promise something unexpected and deliciously fun.”

So there you have it: instead of trying to turn cereal healthy, MishMash doubles down on the artisanal nostalgia angle. But at $10 (plus shipping) a box, does banking on wackiness pay off? As your resident goldball with a heart of goof, I’m putting my money where Rhett & Link’s mouthes are to find out.

Err…their money where my mouth is? My monkey…their mouse…I don’t know, let’s just do this. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: honey, peanut butter. 3 Comments

Feb. ’23

Review: Sweet Dreams Cereals

Aw jeez, gotta write quick: I feel like I’m reviewing on a timer here, like an Evangelion unit disconnected from its power supply. If I trail off mid-sentence, you’ll know that Sweet Dreams Cereal worked and I fell asle

…

Just kidding, I’m still here and (debatably) lucid. Though my eyes are feeling heavy—but is that because Sweet Dreams, the first cereal designed to be eaten at night to promote restful sleep (with its natural melatonin production-supporting vitamins & minerals), actually works, or because it simply bores me to sleep? Well, turn on your device’s blue-light filter, slip into your finest Sleepytime Tea Bear nightgown/sleeping cap combo, and we’ll all find out together. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: blueberry, honey, post. 1 Comment

Jun. ’22

Review: Honey Vanilla Cheerios

Ever wonder what a plain ol’ butter & jelly sandwich might taste like? What about simply sour chicken, an unadorned upside-down cake, or a pizza topped only with…pepper?

Yeah, me either. But that’s the Honey Vanilla Cheerios experience: like eating something extremely familiar, but without one of the signature, accenting somethings that define the dish. Granted, I’m exaggerating, and Honey Vanilla Cheerios don’t taste as bad as fouled fowl, but it’s palpably missing something.

And that something, dear reader, is Nut.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: cheerios, general mills, honey, vanilla. 3 Comments

Apr. ’22

Review: Sonic the Hedgehog Cereal

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 might just be the best video game movie ever.

Sonic the Hedgehog Cereal, meanwhile, is a country mile from being the best video game cereal (my top 3 would be OG Pokémon Cereal, Nintendo Cereal System, and, surprisingly, Minecraft Creeper Crunch).

Just what went wrong with the Blue Blur’s big-box breakfast debut? Well, it starts with the cereal’s poorly promoted existence. When I first got a PR email about this cereal, it was worded very informally. This is exactly all I was told:

“Available nationwide starting in March, Sonic the Hedgehog cereal is honey flavored with sonic marshmallows. The cereal pieces are gold and ring shaped, representing the gold rings from the video game/movie. The blue marshmallows represent sonic swirling around. The green emeralds represent green emeralds from the sonic games.”

Lack of capital letters aside, the problem is that the release date was set for March, before Sonic 2 released in theaters, but it’s only finally been spotted in stores as of yesterday. This all makes me wonder if the cereal was delayed and subsequently(/fittingly) rushed—the box itself reflects this, with the “enlarged to show detail” text appearing very poorly printed and scarcely legible. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: general mills, honey, movie cereals. 2 Comments

Jul. ’21

Review: CLIF Cereals (x4!)

What’s your number?

No, I’m not asking for your phone digits, height & weight, or preferred prophetic angel number. Rather, what’s the most you’d be willing to pay for a new cereal? Depending on where you live, your typical breakfast boxful probably costs around $3-$4, or a little more for a family-sized brick of the stuff. Tipping the scales on the other end are indie/healthy cereals like Three Wishes and luxury products like Morning Summit, which seems to use its premium price point solely to earn PR—not unlike that silly I Am Rich app from the early iOS days.

Falling somewhere between average and exorbitant are premium cereals like LaraBar Cereal, KIND Bar Cereal, and now, yes, even CLIF Bar Cereals. I’m sure it’s only coincidence that trying all these bar-inspired cereals will cost you a veritable gold bar, but regardless, since they each cost about $7 a box, this is a morning investment worth researching first.

Thankfully, CLIF was kind enough to send me each of their four new cereal flavors, so I can tell you whether the steep price point is worth the sojourn. In other words, does the view justify the climb? Allow me to stake in my spoon and find out. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: almond, apple cinnamon, blueberry, chocolate, honey, peanut butter. 3 Comments

Dec. ’20

Review: Raisin Bran Toasted Oats & Honey

Give me the opportunity to ideate a new Raisin Bran (Crunch or Otherwise) flavor, and I’ll come back to you with an annotated binder of possibilities, each obscure taste more convoluted and full of cultural callbacks than the last.

You give the ideas guys at Kellogg’s the same chance, and they’ll show you a million ways to change the stuff without really doing a whole lot of anything. Raisin Bran with Cranberries—a dried fruit tasting basically the same as raisins, but tougher to chew. Raisin Bran with Vanilla—they actively made the stuff worse with an overpowering, industrial vanilla veneer. Oh, and why not just chuck some bananas in there?

Wait, that one gets a pass. It at least calls back to every on-box proposed Raisin Bran serving of yore.

But this newest exhibition of nothingness is, at least conceptually, the most offensive of all. The ideological barrier between Kellogg’s Raisin Bran and Raisin Bran Crunch is thicker than a three-wide cluster of stuck-together bran flakes. The two cereals attract very different types of people. And while I respect regular Raisin Bran, it’s not for me. I love me some Crunchy bunches of honey-toasted granola—which is why it’s egregious that “Toasted Oats & Honey” is positioned here as a spinoff of plain ol’ Raisin Bran.

It should’ve been called Raisin Bran Crunch 2: Deliciously Deconstructed. Accurately allocating valor is important, Kellogg’s! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: honey, kellogg's, raisin bran. 3 Comments

Sep. ’20

Review: Retro Recipe Golden Grahams (Honey is Back)

I’ve talked about this on the blog before, but I believe there is an understated, yet sacred, beauty to foodstuffs that make the most out of minimal ingredients. This I have dubbed my “Egg & Cheddar on Ciabatta Theorem,” and I hear it’s gaining traction among renowned microgastronomists.

This framework of culinary thought applies to Golden Grahams. Not so much literally, as Golden Grahams have as many peripheral filler ingredients as any processed breakfast cereal, but Golden Grahams have at least maintained an overall brand reputation for unanointed simplicity. Golden Grahams cereal squares taste like honey graham crackers, simple as that. If you want more nuanced flavor, either buy a Golden Grahams Treat or buzz off (presumably into the open arms of Honey Maid S’Mores or Cinnamon Graham cereals).

Yet after decades of chaste cereal pride, leave it to a year like 2020 to see Golden Grahams not only breaking bold new graham ground but also revealing (by way of an apology) a betrayal eight years in the making.

Bam. Smelted Golden Grahams icing on a so-so Toaster Strudel. Boom. A way overripe Golden Grahams S’Mores Remix snack pouch. And now, the grand ka-pow: Retro Recipe Golden Grahams that…bring honey back as an ingredient?

This is so silly to me because a quick googling suggests honey wasn't removed from GG until like 2012, so the "Retro Recipe" is anything but.

Also, multiple apostrophe errors here? "80's"?? "Golden Graham's"??? https://t.co/9ikBgmYsAk

— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) September 12, 2020

There’s the betrayal. Maybe I’m the most deliberately ignorant Golden Grahams fan, but I had no clue honey left the cereal around 2012—a fact that makes the ’80s box theming feel a little disingenuous.

Regardless, I’m excited to taste real honey in my Golden Graham again. Like Plato’s Allegory of a Cave’s Continental Breakfast, I’ve lived nearly a decade with false faith in the Grahams I spooned before me.

Will this new golden light blind me, or free me?

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: general mills, golden grahams, honey. 18 Comments

Sep. ’20

Spooned & Spotted: Golden Grahams Retro Recipe!

You ever see a new product release like this and wonder how you’re supposed to take it? As a celebration? An apology? A self own?

I consider myself both knowledgeable about cereal, and I’ve always been a big graham cracker stan, but I’ll admit I never noticed that Golden Grahams apparently hasn’t had honey in its ingredients list for some time now. I suppose I just never expected my old buddy Golden Grahams, my dear, sweet, innocent and unchanging Golden Grahams, to betray my trust. Between its yellow branding and its most famous commercials, Golden Grahams should’ve at least told people when it told mascot Honey The Honey Drop’s namesake stuff to buzz out of their cereal.

This is a dupe right up there with all Froot Loop colors tasting the same and Chocolate Lucky Charms being a corn-based cereal!

It’s tough to pinpoint exactly when Golden Grahams pivoted from a honey graham to a brown sugar graham cereal, but comparing school cafeteria nutrition labels for single-serve Golden Grahams packaging, we can estimate it was some time between 2011 and 2013.

Now, so many depraved years later, Golden Grahams is proudly doubling back on its duplicity, at least temporarily, with Retro Recipe Golden Grahams—made with real honey! Spotted at Walmart by Tim S. (long-time vocal advocate for oat flour’s return to General Mills’ Monster Cereals, a noble and just cause), Retro Recipe Golden Grahams are certainly at the top of my “must try” list. And by “try,” I mean in the “push ’em to the edge” sense of the word. These Grahams have a lot of explaining to do.

We shared everything with each other, Golden Grahams! Promise me you’ve changed for good! Prove it to me by making Retro Recipe Count Chocula happen!

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: general mills, golden grahams, honey, spooned & spotted. 6 Comments