Tag Archives: kashi

Rumor Mill: Two New Kashi Cereals, Coming Soon?

Kashi Cinnamon French Toast Cereal Box

Waffle Crisp: the maple father, always present, always watching with a golden gaze.

French Toast Crunch: the sticky son, lost once, but resurrected thanks to a cult following.

And now, new Kashi Cinnamon French Toast: a holy syrup, created to enrich our sugar-loving lives with a cereal slightly more wholesome?

Forgive me for theologizing, but I love maple flavored cereals so much, that even the possibility of a healthy one has my heart sizzling like a freshly caked griddle. Long story short: when I was exploring the web’s deepest cereal caverns—an exploration that also turned up new Rice Krispies Treats and Super Mario Cereal—I happened upon this Kashi Cinnamon French Toast Cereal box, too.

These pillows look like Puffins, they’re flavored with real cinnamon and maple syrup, and they have plenty of fiber, but other than that, there’s nothing to say about this cereal yet that you can’t garner from staring at that very very enlarged to show texture cereal piece above.  I won’t tell IT if you lick your screen.

But wait, there’s more! Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi Chocolate Crunch Cereal

Kashi Chocolate Crunch Cereal Box

“Pshh, Kashi’s a health company. There’s no way their Chocolate Crunch cereal will pack enough chocolaty goodness to satisfy a certified chocoholic like me.”

Wrong!

“Oh, well, since they are a health company, surely Kashi’s Chocolate Crunch will contain satisfying, filling serving sizes.”

Wrong!

“Uh, at least there’s…surely no way I’ll plow through a whole box of Chocolate Crunch in one sitting and find myself on the floor, shamefully lying on my belly to hide the fudge stains on my overeager face!”

Wrong!

That’s three strikes, and you’re out. Please hang up your glove and hand over your Kashi Chocolate Crunch box to the proper authorities (i.e. my own hungry mitts). Despite Kashi’s reputation for clean, wholesome breakfasts, Chocolate Crunch is no minor league chocolate cereal. When it comes to cocoa-slathered goodness, this stuff hits harder than Babe Ruth wielding a king-sized Baby Ruth.

Don’t believe me? Join me in the dugout and we’ll dig into a box. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi Dark Cocoa Karma Cereal

Kashi Dark Cocoa Karma Box
The main teaching of karma is “what goes around comes around.”

Then how come Kashi’s new Dark Cocoa Karma shredded wheat cereal comes as a square, and not a round loop?

Looks like you really missed a chance to tie your tasty breakfast offerings into the cyclical nature of moral interchange, Kashi.

That’s okay. I’m willing to forgive your philosophical blunder if this exciting cereal actually tastes good. I say “exciting” because Dark Cocoa Karma is essentially the second ever cereal—after Chocolate Toast Crunch—to combine chocolate and cinnamon in the same bowl.

Time to pop on a DVD of My Name is Earl and find some cinnamon chocolate zen. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi GoLean Dark Chocolate Cashew Chia Plant-Powered Bar

IMG_4480I find the concept of breakfast bars to be fascinating. All the magic of cereal distilled and molded like sugary Play-Doh into portable, rectangular chunks? They’re the next best thing to carrying around a heart-shaped locket with Toucan Sam’s face inside.

At the same time, I yearn for a simpler era of breakfast bars. I yearn for the days when our only option was bits of actual cereal haphazardly Elmer’s glued together by a sweet, gelatinous white goo that could somehow legally be called “milk.”

But now we live in an era of protein and quinoa and whatever the hell “activated almonds” are. So I’ll happily review one more Kashi Plant-Powered Bar, but I’ll do it with a nostalgic yearning for a simpler time—a time when I accepted a dare to eat just the milk layer of a cereal bar and spent the rest of the dazed afternoon unsure what century it was. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi GoLean Peanut Hemp Crunch Plant-Powered Bar

IMG_4446Imagine this “Choose Your Own Adventure:”

Your eyes jolt open. You feel more rested than usual, and as you look at the clock and experience a mild heart attack, you realize why—you slept through your alarm!

After dancing your way through a frantic shower (no one’ll notice the shampoo still dripping from your ears, right?) and flailing into dress clothes, you’re about ready to leave before you conclude that if you don’t grab some breakfast, your growling stomach might roar you off the side of the road.

Bursting into your pantry, you have three choices:

A) A bowl of Raisin Bran with milk (eaten with one hand on the steering wheel)

B) A slab of bacon (cooked on a portable skillet plugged into your cigarette lighter)

C) A Kashi GoLean Peanut Hemp Crunch Plant-Powered Bar

If you chose A or B, prepare for a tragic “THE END” to your milk-soaked adventure. But if you chose C like me, turn to the next page and we’ll see if our breakfast choice was any more satisfying than a roadside bacon grease third degree burn. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi GoLean Honey Pecan Baklava Plant-Powered Bar

IMG_4360From cereal to oatmeal, muesli, cookies, fruit thingies, crackers, waffles, and even pizza, the products available from the grain-loving folks at Kashi are spread all over the map like grocery store Carmen Sandiegos.

So while Kashi’s cereal usually gets the most buzz, it’s worth sharing the attention with some of the brands more interesting options for morning sustenance. And speaking of buzz, this one’s got a lot of honey.

One of four “Plant-Powered Bars,” Honey Pecan Baklava joins the ranks of Dark Chocolate Cashew Chia, Salted Dark Chocolate & Nuts, and Peanut Hemp Crunch.

I like to imagine these four Plant Power Bars forming a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles-esque team of vigilante crimefighters when the grocery store closes at night.

I won’t serve you a heaping bowlful of words here, either. I promise to keep this review conveniently snack-sized. It might be a stretch to even call this a “breakfast review,” but hey: they’re in the cereal aisle. And when’s the last time you saw the word “baklava” next to your Cap’n Crunch?

Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi GoLean Clusters Vanilla Pepita

IMG_4252Forget everything Schoolhouse Rock taught you: knowledge clearly isn’t power…plants are! And bills don’t spend their time anthropomorphically singing on the steps of the Capital Building, either, but that’s a misconception for another time.

Alright, I probably shouldn’t mock knowledge. After all, I am in college so that I can be learnin’ me them knowledges. But with all the different powerful plants in Vanilla Pepita—the newest gluten free cereal from Kashi—I can fill any gaps in my education with pepitas, red beans, pea crisps, and sorghum.

Hear that, professor? Who needs degrees when you can have peas?

Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Kashi Cacao Nib, Almond, & Coconut Overnight Muesli

IMG_4198My soft food diet is over, and while I’m already planning my “welcome back” house party—which will feature bowls of chips, volleyball-sized lumps of Laffy Taffy, and an edible piñata—I figured I’d have one last mushy hurrah by reviewing a cereal(ish) product quite unlike any I’ve tried before.

It’s one of three mueslis (I bet “Mueslis” will be one of the names given to an obscure background alien from Star War Episode VII) from Kashi that is designed to be filled with milk at night, refrigerated, and enjoyed the next morning.

I chose this flavor not just because “Cacao Nib” sounds like he could be the Ewok copilot of Mueslis in their Extended Universe novel, but because the other two flavors, Sunflower Pepita and Cherry Cinnamon & Cardamom gave me unpleasant mental images of eating fibrous stalks and spice cabinets.

Let’s have a “nib”ble, shall we?

Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+