Tag Archives: mini-wheats

Review: Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats

New Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats Review Box

BRB, changing the name of my site to Curmudgeonously.

Why? Because the longer I write about cereal, the harder it gets for a new cereal to excite me. Don’t get me wrong, my heart still yearns and burns (figuratively) for cereal, but after reviewing 450+ breakfast products, the next plain ol’ chocolate, vanilla, or cinnamon-flavored cereal has to do a lot different to capture my attention. At a certain point, my trusty cartful of adjectives starts to get stale.

That was my mindset going into this newest flavor of Frosted Mini-Wheats. Not that Cinnamon Roll is really new territory for the brand. There were Cinnamon Streusel Mini-Wheats in 2007, and Cinnamon Roll Little Bites in 2012. The only thing 2021’s Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats have that the others don’t is….a kinda ugly box. The grey-blue is uninspiring, the cinnamon roll watermarks make it look like an off-brand DUPLO, and, well, I’ve already voiced my distaste for the redesigned Mini-Wheats mascot many times.

But all hesitations notwithstanding, I must go into this review unbiased. Even if I want to punt the mascot with a pair of steel-toed boots. Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s All Together Cereal

Kellogg's All Together Cereal Review Box

Cereal mixology is a topic close to my heart.

Granted, I don’t actually mix cereals often—usually when I’m running uncomfortably low on one and/or the other cereal—but the infinite conceptual liberty that comes from architecting palate-impacting pairings that transform a familiar cereal experience into a work of edible interpretive art. And that’s before you add different milks to the equation!

There are obvious mixes, like Donettes + Honey Bun Cereal + Milky Coffee.

There are weirder ideas, like Banana Creme Frosted Flakes + Millville Peanut Butter & Jelly Puffs + Vanilla Almond Milk + Maple Syrup (I call it “An Unforgettable Bruncheon”).

And then there are mixes so uncouth and dubious that they border on cereal slander. Mixes like the one proposed and encouraged (but never confidently owned) by Kellogg’s in its All Together Cereal.

Kellogg's All Together Cereal Review Mini Boxes

Released in support of GLAAD and LGBTQ+ youth for Spirit Day, All Together Cereal is a $20 novelty box stuffed with six miniature cereal boxes that, theoretically, you’re meant to gob all up in the same bowl as a symbol of intersectional solidarity. Of course, when you realize that Kellogg’s is only donating up to $50,000, a ‘stunning’ 1/258,640 of their annual revenue, All Together Cereal becomes a pretty obvious face for Rainbow Capitalism.

So while the concept is good-natured and silly, it has its share of ethical undoings before even cracking it open. But hey, might as well see just how offensive the proposed cereal concoction is, too! Continue reading

Coming Soon: Frosted Mini-Wheats Filled – Mixed Berry

2019 Frosted Mini-Wheats Mixed Berry Filled

And the hits. Just. Keep. Coming.

You thought Blueberry Eggo Cereal was exciting? Psh, maybe if you’re a garden variety syrup snob.

And Blueberry Muffin Toasters? Don’t make me laugh. Isn’t that just Eggo for squares?

No, what any true-goo cereal fan should be excited for is just this: dry, sugar-dusted wheat bricks tenderly squelched (12%) full of dried mixed berry goo.

Uh, you know, when I put it that way, it doesn’t sound quite as good as bite-sized griddle cakes and cerealized Seinfeld concept restaurants. But regardless, thanks again to cereal sleuth of the month (year?) Devin, we now know that the Mixed Berry variety of Filled Frosted Mini-Wheats will be returning—though I wouldn’t blame you if you never noticed it leave.

In fact, this cereal concept is so niche—and admittedly blasĂ© in its appeal—that I can’t even find an accurate lifespan for its original incarnation. The only key indicator that 2019 (or 2020)’s version is new is that they’re now simply called “Filled” instead of “Touch of Fruit in the Middle,” a welcome renaming that will no-doubt stave off my carpal tunnel minutes longer when it comes time to review this stuff.

Regardless, fans of fruit and obfuscatory wheat cages for said fruit can prep their berry-discerning taste buds to try this one soon. I mean, there is blueberry in there, so we can safely assume these will take well to butter and maple syrup.

 

Coming Soon: Kellogg’s Strawberry Krispies and Frosted Mini-Wheats Fruit Medley

Strawberry Krispies 2018

Image via Kellogg’s

(Update: We reviewed both!)

Yet again, vegetables are forgotten in the breakfast aisle.

Don’t get me wrong, I love fruit: ketchup is my favorite! But corn flour shouldn’t be the only place nature’s more savory bounty can express its vegetableau of unique flavors.

I’m talking Zucchini Bread Toast Crunch. Sweet Dill Frosted Flakes. Maple Sweet Potato Casserole Cheerios (a boy can dream, can’t he?).

But no—with Kellogg’s newest two cereals in its seemingly endless harvest of upcoming products, sweet and juicy fruit top the breakfast food pyramid yet again.

I guess I can’t be too upset: I never got to try the original, 1983 incarnation of Strawberry Krispies, but it still has loyal fans, even 35 years later. So if 2007’s Rice Krispies with Strawberries was a bit of a slap in the face to them, I’d understand. Either way, both real nostalgiacs and wistful wannabes like me can rejoice, because Strawberry Krispies are getting a proper revival.

I’d imagine the natural first thing to do with these micro rose petal Krispies is to fon-douse it in chocolate milk. We don’t know a concrete release date yet, but I hope I don’t have to wait until Valentine’s Day to share a carton of chocolates with Strawberry Krispies.

Fruit Medley Mini-Wheats

Image via Kellogg’s

Kellogg’s other upcoming release, however, is all original: Frosted Mini-Wheats Fruit Medley.

Just looking at the box’s thick wheat biscuits, I automatically picture a disastrous dry beach-turned-mirage vacation—how could a cereal this dry do juicy fruit flavors justice?

But the more I consider Fruit Medley Mini-Wheats’ unique blend of peach, apple, and pear fruit flavors, the more I think it could work as more of a “spring pie” approach—at least that’s the season of release the box color’s would have me believe.

Though that just makes my unrealized dream of Carrot Cake Mini-Wheats all the more bittersweet.

So while these may just seem like two more cereals to toss on top of the laundry/pantry list of new cereals soon-to-come, I definitely think each has potential—even if only for a certain niche of wispy berry and Animal Crossing fruit blend fans.

As for me? Well until early 2019 releases its onslaught of promised sweets, I’ll be whittling eggplants into cereal spoons.

Review: Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats

Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats Review Box

I don’t know which age gap is bigger here: the one between the elderly countenance of fibrous shredded wheat and the inherent hip and/or intellectual youthfulness of a vanilla latte, or the quantum leap between that same vanilla latte and the disturbingly clownish/juvenile bootleg SpongeBob face of Frosted Mini-Wheats’ new(ish) mascot design.

Most know by now, but I have negative fondness for him. I believe his parents were a normal Frosted Mini-Wheat and a blob of radioactive sewage.

All Geiger counters in my Amazon cart aside, I’m excited to try the non-buffoonishly anthropomorphized Vanilla Latte Frosted Mini-Wheats that lie inside, perhaps in a steam of powdered sugar.

Because Kellogg’s is one for one on Vanilla Latte sweets, meaning if they knock this out of the park, Chocolate Mocha Mini-Wheats can’t be far behind.

Let’s hasten history!

Continue reading

News: Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, & Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats!

If you need a minute to process the title you just read, feel free to step outside, have a deep breath/smoke/Tums, or maybe just scream “It’s my money, and I need to spend it on cereal now!

Yes, it’s not often we get an unexpected cereal bomb like the one Kellogg’s just dropped. Rumors about Wild Berry Froot Loops, Banana Raisin Bran, and Vanilla Latte Mini-Wheats have been swirling around the internet recently, but now that we have photo confirmation from markie_devo on Instagram, we’re free to let our country divide itself into a three-party system about which flavor will be best. Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats

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Strawberry season is nigh!

So while we wait for me to track down those new Strawberry Cheerios, while we wait a little longer for this summer’s Strawberry Tiny Toast, and while we wait even longer for Franken Berry to awaken from his 11 month hibernation, let’s start with a classic strawberry appetizer!

Kellogg’s Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats has been around for a long time. In fact, some historians claim this cereal predates the strawberry fruit itself.

We don’t take those historians very seriously.

But since Strawberry Mini-Wheats have long graced the breakfast aisle alongside compatriots like Blueberry, Maple Brown Sugar, and Original, they must be pretty darn good, right? Let’s revisit them and find out.

After all, I can’t resist any opportunity to lick hot pink frosting off of things. Somewhere out there is a veritable zoo of naked Keebler Frosted Animal Cookies.

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Review: Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats Chocolate Little Bites

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Chocolate Little Bites are the greatest Frosted Mini-Wheats flavor ever made.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did I spoil the verdict of this review by saying that? Oops. I guess I was just distracted by the fact that these are the greatest Frosted Mini-Wheats ever made.

I typically review new cereals on this blog, but I always make exceptions for exceptional “classic” cereals. And the greatest Frosted Mini-Wheats ever made certainly qualify as exceptional.

These chocolatey cuboids are part of Frosted Mini-Wheats’ Little Bites line, which adorably miniaturize the brand’s normal sized Mini-Wheats. But “normal” Mini-Wheats are already a smaller version of Kellogg’s original, much larger Mini-Wheats, which debuted in 1972.

Confused yet? I know I am. Now I’m just wondering whether Kellogg’s plans to release a line of Frosted Micro-Wheats that we’ll need a magnifying glass and tweezers to eat. Or maybe they’ll just pull a switcheroo and release Monster-Wheats, which require us to consult a real estate agent before every spoonful.

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