Hmm, moustache flavor?

Ooh: sunglasses flavor?

Well, I’m all out of ideas. I guess it’s hard to guess when I haven’t tasted new Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts, or Mister E. Pop-Tarts, as they’re calling them. At least we won’t have to wait long, as Mister E. Pop-Tarts are hitting shelves this month. Here’s the origin story from Kellogg’s:

“How did this flavor come to be? Rumor has it, a masked culprit broke into the Pop-Tarts factory and created a mysterious and delicious new flavor. Pop-Tarts loved it so much, they hired Mister E, a world-class flavor investigator and title character on the new Pop-Tarts box, to solve the case. 

But Mister E needs help from Pop-Tarts lovers everywhere! Fans are invited to share their best flavor guesses for a chance to win epic prizes. After taking a bite, just scan the QR code on the box to visit the entry website and submit your guess. The sweepstakes opens May 27, 2021.”

Honestly, I’m more interested in whether there’ll be a canonical answer as to who the “masked culprit” was. Maybe that’s just a copyright neutral way of explaining why the mystery flavor is like, Crunch Berries or something.

Ultimately, this isn’t the first time a toaster pastry brand has tested our taste buds with an edible enigma: Walmart’s Great Value Toaster Pastries had a mystery flavor back in 2018. I don’t think the truth was ever fully revealed—and the taste was super generic, so I said “Fruit Punch.” Hopefully Mister E. Pop-Tarts—whatever the heck they are—are distinctive enough to tantalize the tip of my tongue.

(Updated after the fact to include Banana Creme Pie)

You know what they say: good things come in threes. And pouches of two. Within boxes of eight.

No matter the quantity, this is some quality news for fans of fruity Pop-Tarts. I’ve discussed before how if you like Pop-Tarts, you’re probably in one of three camps: a Fruity Freak, a Chocoholic, or a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Purist. And for that first camp, this unexpected trio is sure to make you, well, a happy camper.

Between Lemon Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, Tropical Mango Pop-Tarts, and Peach Cobbler, only lemon and mango have appeared in Kellogg’s toaster pastried form before—in fact, Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts are returning to shelves as we speak/drool, so I wonder what will be different about Lemon Creme Pie. Regardless, the stand-out flavor here is Peach Cobbler, marking a bold foray into the Pop-Tart world for everyone’s favorite butt-shaped fruit.

These flavors can already be found on grocer Meijer’s website, though it will likely be a few weeks before they start hitting shelves. Which of the three has got your mouth watering like a juiced melon?

After I posted this, Kellogg’s also announced Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, which will be store exclusives. No word on which store yet, but since these are 16-packs, it’s probably safe to assume Walmart.