Tag Archives: post

Review: Grape-Nuts Trail Mix Crunch Cereal

Post Grape-Nuts Trail Mix Crunch Cereal Review

I’m not gonna lie to you: I don’t hit a lot of trails.

The Oregon Trail for PC? Sure. Trailer Park Boys reruns? Definitely? But any sort of wooded or, dare I say, forested path that requires physical exertion and appreciation for non-pixelated nature? Count me out.

That’s how dysentery starts.

But I’m still more familiar with fictional trails than being fit, which is why I won’t penalize Grape-Nuts Trail Mix Crunch for its box’s blatant lie. See, this stuff isn’t new: it’s just a rebrand of 5-year old cereal Grape-Nuts Fit—a fact Grape-Nuts itself confirmed on my Instagram.

Luckily, I never reviewed Grape-Nuts Fit before, so it won’t be redundant if I do so now. Plus this potent little brick of a cereal box weighs in at over 1 pound, which, given its size, makes it count as powerlifting every time I pour from it.

So let’s get fit(tin’ this stuff into my mouth)! Continue reading

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Quick Review: Great Grains Coconut Almond Crunch Cereal

Post Great Grains Coconut Almond Crunch Cereal Review Box

The coconut is an odd organism.

A sphere of tropical water protected by a hairy rind so thick you could clock a cartoon character ‘cross the noggin without cracking it, the coconut as an edible fruit takes a backseat to the thing’s most iconic purposes: flavoring piña coladas, serving as a hula girl brassiere, and signaling the entrance of an invisible horse.

Yet the coconut’s incomparable flavor has still developed a cult following—most people either hate coconut, are indifferent about it, or go absolutely cuckoo and nuts about it, rubbing its various oils and butters over their face, arms, and…uh…upside-down cakes.

That’s why every time a coconut cereal comes out, I applaud it. It must be a risk for the company involved, yet it’s still a rare treat that lets me have a breakfast luau without busting out the maple-glazed pig roast.

Case in point: I’m excited to review Great Grains Coconut Almond Crunch, because two nuts are better than one.

Wait…no. I take that back! Continue reading

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Review: Chips Ahoy! Cereal from Post

Post Chips Ahoy! Cereal Review Box

Unlike Nutter Butters or Nilla Wafers, Chips Ahoy! has always been on my bad side.

No, not because of the cookie brand’s taste, its perpetual civil war between chewy and crunchy (chewy all the way), or its retiring of one my favorite snack mascots: the Cookie Guy.

I’m upset at Chips Ahoy! for its brazen, borderline offensive abuse of the exclamation point. It’s part of the trademark, meaning it has to be included even in the middle of sentences, eternally pissing off writers, word processors, and autocorrects. It’s kinda like how “Oreos,” isn’t the correct pluralization of Oreo cookies, but this one has 100x more thrown phones.

So sorry, geeks, dweebs, poindexters and pedants, but I’m not using the exclamation point anymore in my review of Post’s new Chips Ahoy Cereal, the companion of Nutter Butter Cereal—both of which hit Walmart at the end of December and stores everywhere April 2018.

Now that I’ve vented about punctuation and mourned the loss of an anthropomorphized foodstuff, the only thing left on my pre-review checklist is “wonder about something pointless.”

I wonder if in Spanish-speaking countries, they stylize it as ¡Chips Ahoy! Continue reading

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Review: Nutter Butter Cereal from Post

Post Nutter Butter Cereal Review Box

“What’s the best peanut butter cereal?” is perhaps one of breakfast’s most divisive questions—right up there with “is cereal a soup?”

(No, it’s not: soup is a concept, not a thing defined by its components. Please stop asking me.)

There are many who ardently support Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch. There are others who swear by Reese’s Puffs or new Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios (or at least, 50% of them). Some weirdos (like me) prefer the salted intricacies of Peanut Butter Puffins. And there are still others (me again) who desperately long for the return of JIF Cereal, going so far as to rally a posse of choosy moms to voice their cause.

But while peanut butter cereal has long been a small, yet hotly contested category, there’s a new contender in town, one with a long legacy of peanut butter snack cookie domination.

Yes, Nutter Butter Cereal is real, and it is debuting alongside Chips Ahoy! cereal to close a trilogy of “cerealized grade school cafeteria treat your mom used to carefully ration out in Ziploc bags, like seriously Ma, only two?”, a divine cereal lineage pioneered by the great creator: Oreo O’s.

Nutter Butter cookies have always been an aggressively peanut buttery cookie to me. So I’m not saying I want this cereal to gum my tongue to the roof of my mouth like tasty rubber cement, but if I’m left smacking my lips like a confused dog, I wouldn’t be upset. Continue reading

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Spooned & Spotted (Canada): Post Cookies & Cream Cereal

Post Cookies & Cream Cereal Box (Canada)

Whether they’re called Twist & Shouts, “Lickety Splits, or…*shudder*…Creme Betweens, off-brand Oreo cookies just feel uncannily wrong to eat. Even Hydrox, being the original chocolate sandwich cookie, just feels like the snack equivalent of a cheap bootleg VHS with hilariously mistranslated English to Chinese and back to English subtitles.

“Oreo: the treat that lactose loves to be smothering!”

And that’s how I feel about Post debuting Cookies & Cream Cereal in Canada, too. Though it’s ostensibly the same cereal they released as Oreo O’s in the States earlier this year—which was, in turn, ostensibly the same as Malt-O-Meal Cookies & Cream Cereal, which is also a Post holding—I can’t help but think that my brand-loyal taste buds would reject these crunchy cookie rings faster than my brain rejects the blasphemous existence of “Low Fat Oreos.”

I don’t know why Post couldn’t bring the Oreo O’s name to Canada—maybe border patrol would’ve “confiscated” them for “thorough gastrointestinal inspection”—but thanks to reader Jas A.’s above photo, we know that our northern neighbors will at least get to experience the cereal’s deliciousness in a comparatively anonymized form.

And hey, the box art is actually pretty cool! We don’t get enough purple candy stripes in the cereal aisle (come on, Raisin Bran: live a little!), and the cereal name’s stylized font looks like something that would be cross-stitched, framed, and hung above the toilet in a motor home. Which works here, because in my mind, nothing says “haphazard family camping trip” quite like generic cereal eaten out of flimsy paper bowls with lukewarm 2%.

Thanks again to Jas for the photo. If you’d like to share a cereal photo from anywhere in the world (even from my own backyard—I’d be impressed), mail it on over to our Submissions page for a chance to see it on this site!

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Spooned & Spotted: New Looks for Old Cereals

New Rice Krispies Cereal Snap, Crackle, and Pop Designs

Aside from hunting new cereals, Pop-Tarts and Hostess snack cakes (my secret passion—Chocodiles used to be my fudge-slathered white whales), one of my oldest grocery store past times is looking for box art variations of breakfast mainstays.

Sometimes the differences are nuanced and small, like earlier this year when French Toast Crunch’s plain red box adopted a drop shadow, but sometimes classic cereal boxes we’ve come to love dramatically evolve overnight, like metamorphosed sugar-encrusted butterflies emerging from their cardboard chrysalises. As we’ll soon see, French Toast Crunch just did that, too—and so did another long-beloved morning mainstay.

But before we judge those, let’s appraise Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s recent Rice Krispies plastic surgery, which I noticed while trying (and failing) to find those elusive new Pumpkin Spice Rice Krispies TreatsContinue reading

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Review: Frosted Mixed Berry Shredded Wheat Cereal

Post Frosted Mixed Berry Shredded Wheat Cereal Review – Box

Well, well, well: here we are again, Shredded Wheat.

My first experience with one of Shredded Wheat’s new trilogy of flavors, which not-so-subtly tries top compete with Frosted Mini-Wheats by, well, frosting the brand’s iconic miniature wheat biscuits and stuffing (allegedly) flavorful stuff inside, was cosmically bland. I swore I wouldn’t try another flavor. I started smashing all square and/or thatched things in my apparent. I even told people I was allergic to wheat—just the sight of it, not the taste.

But after being coerced by a trusted source to give this Mixed Berry variety a try, and after (unsurprisingly) failing to find Count Chocula when it’s still hot enough out to boil swimming pools into holy water, I find myself staring at a bowlful of vaguely mauve biscuits.

Alright, Shredded Wheat. Let’s do this. Just don’t forget: bore me once, shame on you. Bore me twice, I’m going to start crank-calling the National Wheat Foundation out of juvenile spite. Continue reading

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Review: Frosted Cinnamon Roll Shredded Wheat Cereal

Post Frosted Cinnamon Roll Shredded Wheat Cereal Review Box

Let me ask you a question I believe Socrates himself once pondered: what is the difference between a cinnamon roll and a cinnamon bun?

Google seems to think there isn’t one, but my heart tells me otherwise. To me, a cinnamon roll could mean anything from a half-eaten Cinnabon dropped on an airport floor to a half-eaten hunk of raw Pillsbury cinnamon roll dough, noshed straight out of the tube. A cinnamon bun, on the other hand, exudes homemade quality and must be baked with care. A cinnamon bun must be given the same craftsmanship as a sourdough loaf or an artisan pretzel bun.

Don’t believe me that cinnamon buns are raised with love? When’s the last time you heard a pregnant woman say “I’ve got a roll in the oven”?

Exactly. And this whole bun/roll rigamarole is further proved by Frosted Cinnamon Roll Shredded Wheat, one of three new Post cereals—alongside Mixed Berry and S’Mores—that tries revitalizing Shredded Wheat’s reputation of being about as flavorful as sand-dusted burlap. Frosted Cinnamon Roll attempts to turn wheat into treat by adding cinnamon sugar frosting and a filling of vanilla chips, but let’s just say there’s a good reason this cereal isn’t called “Frosted Cinnamon Bun Shredded Wheat.”

To quote the eminent wordsmith Will.i.am: “Where is the love?” Continue reading

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