Tag Archives: quaker

News: New Quaker Product Oat-stravaganza

New Quaker Oatmeal with Antioxidants – Blueberry Cranberry and Green Apple Fig

Oh come on, Quaker: give that poor ol’ Oats guy a rest. We all know that he has to hand-toast every single Quaker oat before it’s ready for consumption. It takes him hours just to meticulously craft a single oatmeal packet, and now you’re throwing a smorgasbord of new products onto his to-do list! His work–life balance is going out the window, all for the sake of our balanced breakfast.

Oh well, he’s a man who loves his craft, so let’s respect it by rounding up all the new Quaker products hitting shelves now. Above we have an extension of the brand’s iconic instant oatmeal pantheon: two antioxidant-rich varieties. I don’t know much about antioxidants—my childish self would assume you throw the packets in a room ful of your enemies to slowly drain them of oxygen, supervillain-style—but I know that the two flavors here are pretty unique. Blueberry Cranberry is bold for brazenly removing strawberry from the expected berry rotation, while Green Apple Fig is the first fig flavored anything I’ve heard of since the Fig Newton.

(I really hope this oatmeal contains crushed-up Fig Newtons.) Continue reading

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Review: Quaker Banana & Maple Oatmeal

Quaker Banana & Maple Oatmeal Box

Ever had a Canadian Elvis?

It’s a traditional and totally not-made-up sandwich native to North North America that remixes Mr. Presley’s favorite peanut butter and banana sandwich by swapping George Washington Carver’s creamy (or chunky, choosy moms don’t discriminate) legume spread with the sticky sweet life blood of Canada’s flag-starring national tree.

Quaker must be a fan of the Canadian Elvis, because it’s the only logic I can see behind their new(ish) Banana & Maple Oatmeal flavor. Outside of banana pancakes (which are usually paired with compote instead of syrup anyway) and a certain tragic incident in my childhood involving a rogue monkey with a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth, I’ve never heard of banana and maple going together.

Chocolate and bananas? Delicious.
Ice cream and bananas? You couldn’t split us apart.
Peanut butter and bananas? I hunka hunka burnin’ love it.

But maple syrup and bananas is largely unexplored territory—a final frontier worthy of a new Star Trek series. Maple is one of my favorite all-time flavors—I want my funeral procession to end at an IHOP—so Quaker’s got a lot to prove by pairing it with a fruit that barely makes my top 10.

(Though “Maple & Strawberry” probably wouldn’t sound any more palatable) Continue reading

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Happy National Cereal Day 2017: Dan’s Top 5 Obscure Cereal Mascots

National Cereal Day Shirt

Finally: now that all those Hallo-Thanks-‘mas-New-Valen-hog things are over, we can celebrate the real most wonderful time of the year.

That’s right, it’s March 7th: National Cereal Day! Today’s our day, breakfast lovers. A day when we can run a shoe buffer over our favorite shiny spoon, eat Cocoa Puffs for every meal plus dessert (which we were going to do anyway), and make fun of health-conscious cereal haters—because you don’t see kale smoothies getting their own national holiday, do you?

As usual, the Lucky Charming, Cinnamon Toasting folks at General Mills gifted me an awesome, retro-themed National Cereal Day care package. With a sturdy cereal bowl and t-shirt celebrating this holiday’s “OGs,” a suite of cereal boxes, an actual Rubik’s Cube, and more holographic plastic squiggles than their are permutations of a Rubik’s Cube, this care package is as wholesome as it is bowl-some.

Last year I celebrated National Cereal Day by counting down my favorite cereals of all time. As March 7th approached and my calendar’s ink started running under the worried grip of my sweaty mitts, I wasn’t sure how to follow this for Cerealously’s second year on the world wide web. But after looking at General Mills’s included “fun fact” sheet, it dawned on me: Continue reading

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Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal

Quaker Cap'n Crunch's Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal Box Review

IHOP, matey!

Whoops, that was weird. I meant to write, “Ahoy, matey!” Sorry about that. Anyway, come on and IHOP aboard my cereal review ship, and we’ll…darn, I did it again! I really must have pancakes on my mind today.

IHOPe it doesn’t happen again.

But really, how can anyone not have pancakes stuck to their brains like syrupy griddlecakes to a plate when Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch cereal is finally here? Sold in boxes taller than Paul Bunyan’s flapjack stacks, Blueberry Pancake Crunch combines fruity aquamarine and maple-flavored creme puffs (no, not that kind of cream puffs, sorry) to re-create a fascinatingly obscure breakfast in cereal form.

Personally, I would have preferred Buckwheat Pancake Crunch, but my pancake house menu choices are decidedly more octogenarian than most.

So while all you kids turn on Matlock for me and get off my darn lawn, I’ll pour a fresh bowl of spherical Johnnycakes.  Continue reading

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News: Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal is Here!

Cap'n Crunch's Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal Box

(Image via Quaker)

(Update: We reviewed Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch cereal!)

SOS: get me to an IHOP, ASAP!

Why am in such an urgent pancake panic, you ask? Well our Instagram friends money0351 and Oreo Hunters tipped us off about Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch, and just looking at it above makes my blood syrup levels plummet. I’m gonna need a buttermilk IV to keep my system from going into griddlecake gridlock.

Though Cap’n Crunch’s recent, drool-inducing tweet might’ve been a hint, I did not see this one coming. Just like with last summer’s Orange Creampop Crunch, it’s nearly impossible to predict what the good Cap’n’s next obscure dessert-flavored cereal will be these days. Blueberry Pancake Crunch could’ve just as easily been Maple Bacon Crunch, Syrup-Glazed Sweet Potato Crunch, or Chicken & Waffles Crunch.

Sorry, I still have maple leaves stuck in my mind—stuck with syrup, that is.

Apparently the cereal has already been spotted at Walmart and Albertsons, and it will have a nationwide release soon. Once my French toast frenzy has calmed down into a manageable flapjack fantod, you’d better believe I’m going to drive off looking for it. No rain, sleet, snow, or cloudy with a chance of meatball is going to stop me. Hey, there’s my prediction for Cap’n Crunch’s next cereal: “Spaghetti & Meatball Crunch.”

Endless thanks (even more endless than IHOP’s all-you-can-eat pancakes) go to money0351 and Oreo Hunters for the tip. If you’d like to share a fresh cereal scoop, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.

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“Review:” Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch Cereal (2016)

Cap'n Crunch's Christmas crunch Cereal Box 2016 Review

It was like the plot of the world’s most surreal holiday special.

Last month, I shared candid photos of 2016’s gorgeously redesigned Christmas Crunch box, with the promise that I’d wait until late December to review it—to build anticipation, Christmas cheer, appetite, etc. My decision not to buy a sleigh’s worth of Christmas Crunch when it was right there in the store’s discount basket proved to be the most foolish thing I’ve done since trading away all my Oreo Cakesters for Bosco breadsticks way back in elementary school lunch time.

Because on December 22nd, driving around in the cloak of darkness while “We Need A Little Christmas” played with bitter accuracy on the radio, I couldn’t find a single box of Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch in stores!

Several discontented web searches later, I made a desperate phone call to an obscure local grocer who confirmed that they did indeed have a few boxes left. The magical angel who worked customer service even promised to set a box aside for me—I’d wager that he doesn’t hear many late night pleas for red and green breakfast products, so any chance to satisfy a sweaty-sounding dude’s simple, yet stupid Christmas wish was a no-brainer.

And that’s the story of how I ended up with a box of the exact same Christmas cereal I eat every year. Speaking of which, let’s take our spoons out for Ho-Ho-Horatio Magellan Crunch’s holiday classic, shall we? Continue reading

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Spooned & Spotted: “It’s Finally December” Edition

Kellogg's Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors Cereal Box 2016

For every buzz-worthy Christmas Crunch and Cinnamon Star Crunch, there are plenty of less-exciting, non-Crunch based limited edition products that make grocery shelves a little merrier from the rough period of November 1st to December 31st. So while the Cap’n and those cannibalistic stars will get plenty of time in the breakfast spotlight, I want to give a shoutout to two of the little guys.

Or in the case of Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, three of the little guys. Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s annual offering of red and green-speckled Rice Krispies is back again for 2016, returning silently to breakfast aisles in the night like a rice-stuffed Christmas present.

That’s what the song “Silent Night” is all about, right?

I “reviewed” (translation: “played with”) Holiday Rice Krispies last year, and I encourage you all to use this cereal to make your holiday season a little holiday-ier. You could make candy cane-shaped Rice Krispies Treats like the box recommends, or you could cover a snowball entirely in Rice Krispies and chuckle as innocent passerby unknowingly bite into an Ice Krispies Treat.

Quaker's Holiday Limited Edition Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal Box

Quaker’s “Limited Edition” Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal may seem like a cop-out, as it’s just their (arguably) most famous flavor repackaged with a charming living room Christmas tree scene. I mean, they could have at least tossed in some pine nuts, right?

But I’m going to stay positive and express my love for this holiday oatmeal. I couldn’t imagine a more cozy, warm scene than the one Quaker lovingly immortalized here in cardboard. And they picked the perfect, warmly cozy flavor to pair it with.

This Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal is just ho-ho-wholesome, and I look forward to eating it from a novelty Rudolph mug while sprawled flat on my belly under my own tree. There’s a 100% chance I’ll be reading old Garfield comics while I do it, too.

If you’ve spotted any cool limited edition breakfast products, let us know! Click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.

 

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Review: Quaker “Bring Your Best Bowl” Oatmeal Finalists

Quaker "Bring Your Best Bowl" Oatmeal Box Review

Wait, does this mean my “PB&J Oatmeal” idea got rejected?

And my “Double Stuf Oreo Oatmeal” idea, too? Even my “Neapolitan Oatmeal,” “Thanksgiving Leftovers Oatmeal,” and intentionally redundant “Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie Oatmeal” ideas? All thrown in the trash heap?

Okay fine, Quaker Oats guy, I’ll accept this criminal oversight, only because the flavor finalists in your user-submitted “Bring Your Best Bowl” contest sound pretty darn good. There were over 500,000 entries for the competition earlier this year, but only three tempting tastes remain: Vanilla Chai Oatmeal, Lemon Ricotta Pancake Oatmeal, and Apple Cheddar Rosemary Oatmeal.

To pick the winner, Quaker has slapped all three finalists into a single box. It’s up to us—the humble consumers—to try ’em and vote with our taste buds here: the winner will be “saved” on shelves. Since this is a game of oatmeal life or death, I figured I’d do my civic duty and eat three breakfasts in a day. Continue reading

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