(Update: We reviewed Cinnamon Star Crunch!)
It’s okay. Stars are cool, too. They’re certainly more Christmasy than any old squares—even deliciously buttered sugared squares!
Oh, it’s no use. I’m sitting here trying to justify General Mills’ apparent decision to replace Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch—a 2014-2015 cult classic loved by children, food reviewers, and probably adorable panda bears everywhere—with the grinning, quintuply pointed cinnamon corn puffs seen above. But I just can’t seem to do it. The only way star-shaped puffs could ever be better than Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch would be if General Mills decided to also reuse their shapes to revive Sprinkle Spangles.
I’d sacrifice a fresh batch of gingerbread men to bring back Sprinkle Spangles.
This exclusive sneak peek was provided by our friends over at Junk Banter, whose junk food news and reviews are always on point—or in this case, on all five points.
Junk Banter got this picture of Cinnamon Star Crunch, fresh off the truck and in the backroom of a Target. We can only assume that the cereal will hit shelves soon, likely in early November when the world’s pumpkins and Count Choculas begin their winter hibernation. But while we wait, let’s analyze what can.
This holiday cereal shift has been secretly occurring right beneath our cookie-loving noses for months: it turns out that General Mills filed their “Cinnamon Star Crunch” trademark way back in March. Cinnamon Star Crunch also uses the same packaging design as last year’s Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch iteration, and it also appears to diverge from the typical “Toast Crunch formula” of wheat and rice flour. I predict that cinnamon on corn will produce a dramatically different flavor than we know from Cinnamon Toast Crunch and that these
repurposed SpongeBob Cereal pieces stars will soak up milk even faster.
While this isn’t a complete confirmation that Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch won’t return for 2016, this back of the box image, also generously provided by the sleuths at Encyclopedia J. Banter, only shows Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp as being a part of General Mills’ holiday ensemble. Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp is great and all, but no number of sugar sparkles and awful winter puns can heal the broken heart left behind by an unexpected Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch breakup.
If you’re like me and Junk Banter—who is one of the few earthlings who loves Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch than me—and want to see those snowy, fresh-baked squares return, it’s worth rallying for them on social media.
Maybe we can even get the big man himself to support our cause: