In the near future, non-cereal cereal-flavored foodstuffs will outlive cereals themselves. Our children’s children’s children will ask us, “wait, Cinnamon Toast Crunch wasn’t always a popcorn brand? Fruity Pebbles wasn’t always aquarium gravel? And Count Chocula used to make more than just edible abacuses?” And we will sit them on our laps and tell them tales of a time when you could pour crunchy little things in a bowl and eat them with milk—back before the Froot Loops-scented ICBMs fell and changed everything.
Yes, cereal–snack tie-ins are a never-ending trend, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Popcorn—currently still a Sam’s Club exclusive—is only the latest incarnation of innovation and temptation. But is it worthy of the Toast Crunch title? Well let me tell ya… Continue reading →
Corn this, corn that: we get it, Big Cereal, you love corn. We might as well call you stalkers (get it?), what with the putting corn in our beloved, formerly oat-based cereals and now cereals in our popped corn. General Mills? More like…Colonel Mills (get it??)!
Sorry, I’m just a jealous, oat-loving son of a gun who can’t quit bellyaching. In reality, there are plenty of fine corn-based cereals—Corn Flakes, for example, or Corn Pops, or Corn Crunch. Really any corn cereal that’s transparent about how corny it’ll be. Oh, and popcorn is good, too. There are even other cereal-flavored popcorns that have been good—darn good, I might even say. So this new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Popcorn, which is already out at Sam’s Club, is probably going to be pretty darn/dang/dunk(?) good, too.
As shared by Cereal Life, Cocoa Puffs Popcorn is also coming to Sam’s Club this fall, if it isn’t at your local SC already. I’m particularly tickled by the idea of Cocoa Puffs Popcorn, since Cocoa Puffs (unlike CTC) is already a corn-based cereal. That makes Cocoa Puffs Popcorn a strange recontextualization of the classic cuckoo-fronted cereal, from puffed corn to popped corn. Honestly, if there’s a salty element to this popcorn, it’ll probably taste better than its namesake cereal, which I’ve recently criticized for its “More Chocolatey” reformulation, which is in reality, less chocolatey.
Have your tried either of these popcorns yet? Let me know, because without a membership, I might be forced to attempt the most weirdly specific panhandling routine the Sam’s Club parking lot has ever seen.
For one thing, its name and eye-catching box art alone are sure to make Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch one of this summer’s most hyped cereals. Second, there’s a lot going on here: like if someone threw a bunch of butter and caramel and milk and cinnamon and ten other things from a confectioner’s cupboard into a washing machine—and then threw that washing machine, plus a dryer and two fridges (for good measure) into an industrial rock tumbler.
But as your friendly neighborhood cereal blogger, I will do my darnedest to demystify these squares and their witch’s brew of golden goo. Continue reading →
Did someone order fast food? Because I’m back with a quick, drive-through tweet reviews of two new cereal pouches in my pantry that aren’t quite substantial enough to chew over for the full length of a blog post. Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites are now on shelves alongside regular, honey Big Bites, while Chocolate Toast Crunch Remix has debuted with Cinnamon Toast Crunch Remix and Golden Grahams S’Mores Remix.
Do note, that for fans of my full-length reviews, I’ll be posting more soon once a) I clear up my review backlog and b) my wild whirlwind life passes this hectic phase. Keep it crunchy, folks!
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites have no reason to be pouched. There's like 3 bowls' worth in this, the pieces are barely bigger than normal HC, plus they're only alright. Mid-grade cocoa powder flavor that beats Cosmic Brownie Cereal, but not Chocolate Eggo. pic.twitter.com/IrjxrS7oei
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Choco-Caramel Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the most interesting of GM's 3 pouched Remixes. The cereal pieces are alright, but caramel corn MAKES this, with its buttery sweetness & golden milk-proof armor proving popcorn deserves a place in a real full-sized cereal. pic.twitter.com/JOkDktO9ED
Happy National Cereal Day! What better way to celebrate than with news of a sticky-sweet new Toast Crunch variety to tempt our taste buds?
All hail Cereal Life for this news, for he has once again risked the wrath of General Mills to leak one of their upcoming releases like it’s blueprints to the Death Star. New Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch—though it’s still in early sales sample phases, with an indefinite release window—looks absolutely lovely. It will be only the second ever American dulce de leche cereal, after Dulce de Leche Cheerios, which came and went nearly a decade ago.
If you’re like me and don’t know exactly what dulce de leche is, it’s really quite simple—and quite similar to caramel. Whereas caramel is made by slowly cooking down sugar and water, dulce de leche is made by cooking down sugar and milk. Which basically means that dulce de leche is caramel optimized for cereal. Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch is probably going to be amazing, and I hope more than anything it bodes well for the upcoming return of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch, my personal favorite of the TC family.
Again, happy National Cereal Day from Cerealously! I know I usually write something more substantial to celebrate, but with a lot going on in my life at the moment, I hope this good news is enough to whet your appetite.
What makes a good cereal shape? For the overwhelming most part, cereal pieces fall into three categories: puffs, flakes, and squares. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions, from your basic puffed rice to the geometric marvel that is the stuffed Krave pillow, but I don’t believe my palate’s ever encountered anything else quite like Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros.
While most of my cheers and jeers about this noodly cereal medium can be found in my original review for plain CTC Churros, they’re worth reiterating as I dive into this vaguely cylindrical Chocolate sequel. Continue reading →
It seems 2021 will be the year of, in addition to many other things, buff cereal products. First Pebbles drops protein powder, now General Mills is getting into the protein bar game. What’s next, Kellogg’s Raisin Bran energy gel?
To be fair, General Mills’ Golden Grahams and Cinnamon Toast Crunch protein bars look pretty appetizing, and 20 grams of protein feels pretty standard for the likes of Power Bars or Quest Bars. I’m glad they committed to making a muscle-building munchie instead of a weird, sugary Clif Bar type of hybrid. They can save that idea for Lucky Charms.
You can already find the bars listed on General Mills’ Foodservice and Convenience website, so if you’re trying to track down these cereal protein bars, it seems like gas stations or school cafeterias would be your best bet. Whichever’s easiest.
What do you think? Cereal protein bars: yes or no? Personally, I’ll be defeating the Golden Graham bar’s purpose with a jar of marshmallow fluff.
When it comes to Quick Reviews on this blog, I have a sordid history: 98% of the time that I title a post “Quick Review,” I end up removing the word “Quick” after effortlessly coasting past the 500-word mark. But this time, with Cinnamon Toast Crunch Soft Baked Bars, I’m committed to making this, perhaps, my shortest review ever. Why? Let me give you a few quick reasons: Continue reading →
