Author Archives: dan g.

Review: Trader Joe’s Cranberry Gingerbread Granola

IMG_4169I love gingerbread. I’m saying it now. I’m saying it in short, staccato sentences. I love gingerbread men. I love gingerbread houses. I love the character of Gingy in the Shrek films. I insist people call me “Gingerbread Dan” around Christmastime. I’d give up an arm and a leg of my own if it meant getting the chance to bite the arms and legs off of a discontinued Kemps Gingerbread Man ice cream sandwich again.

I love their earthy color. I love the blend of spices. I love the molasses. But most of all, I love the sadistic joy of tearing a soft, pliable sugar man limb from tasty limb all in the name of holiday spirit. Please mention that last sentence in my eulogy.

I’ve campaigned for gingerbread flavored cereals before to no avail. So that’s why when I heard about Trader Joe’s new Cranberry Gingerbread Granola, my heart started pumping faster than the Gingerbread Man’s when he’s running away from those who chase him. But will this mix of “whole grain oats with dried cranberries, ginger, and wintry spices” be a winter win? Continue reading

Review: Quaker Real Medleys Steel Cut Apple Pear Pecan Flavor Oatmeal

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As the days get shorter, the names of all the Quaker oatmeal products out there keep getting longer. And while I may be about a month late on the “autumnal apple cinnamon” trend, I thought I’d toss out another oatmeal review for all of you out there who want to snuggle up by the fire with a warm bowl of mushy ‘meal.

So allow me to introduce the possibly new (who really knows when these things are new anymore? I think there are more Quaker oatmeal varieties than there are actual Quakers) Quaker Real Medleys Steel Cut Apple Pear Pecan Flavor Oatmeal!

Hey, these are steel cut! And steely is a synonym for cold-blooded! You know what else is cold?

Snow!

There’s the obvious winter connection. Phew, now I’m off the hook for being so late.

Continue reading

Review: Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp Cereal

IMG_4158‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a cookie was baking, not even a Toll House.

Even the Oreos had been eaten (I licked them all so I wouldn’t have to share!)

But what would the kids leave out for Santa, who soon would be there?

The children searched their pantry, shoving aside the Wonder Bread,

While visions of a pissed off, hungry Santa clutched his stomach in their heads.

Mom and dad grumbled; they were tired of this crap,

So they threw a box of Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp into the children’s laps.

“Santa doesn’t need real cookies,” Dad said. “They’ll just make him fatter.”

“Give him this cereal, but go easy on the milk; we don’t want a soggy disaster!” Continue reading

Review: Trix Cereal without Artificial Flavors & Colors

IMG_4153Times change, friends.

When they debuted in 1955, Trix were in spherical shapes. But in the 1990s, they became the fruit-shaped pieces that many today insist they always have been. It wasn’t until 2007 that Trix became spheres once more, and the fruit-shapes were left to populate every single BuzzFeed “Top 25 Foods from our Childhood that We Want Back NOW! You Won’t BELIEVE #12!” article from now until eternity.

Oh, and apparently fruit-shaped Trix are still a thing in Mexico. I smell a fruit-scented roadtrip!

And now that General Mills has removed artificial colors and flavors from Trix, some are, again, mourning the loss of a childhood staple. But wait! Back when they debuted, Trix only came in orange, lemon, and raspberry flavors! As these artificial color-free Trix adopt a similar color scheme, it can be said that the cereal really has come full circle.

Or should I say full sphere?

Either way, I’m here to answer the hard-hitting question that you, your family, and probably even the United Nations have been debating: will they taste the same as”regular” Trix? Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: Rice Krispies Treats Holiday Train and Holiday House Kits

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My first thought when seeing these was, “if I made my train out of those Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, I’d probably generate enough Christmas spirit to overclock the Clausometer on Santa’s sleigh.”

And then my second thought was, “They should have dressed Tom Hanks up like Snap, Crackle, or Pop and called this ‘The Polar Krispress.'”

Oh, and then my third thought was, “Crap, crap, crap: people are giving me weird looks for snapping photos of cereal craft kits whilst muttering and chuckling to myself. Play it cool, Dan, and no one will call security.”

So while no, I don’t think these sets are new for 2015, it’s the little things like these kits that makes walking around grocery stores in December feel all the more magical. And if your first thought while reading that was, “who the heck considers grocery shopping a holiday activity?” then congratulations, you’re far more socially adjusted than me.

I also wanted to point out how disappointed I am in my local Meijer for not putting those new seasonal Krispies next to the set: that’s Marketing 101, people!

Either way, I’m eager to make these soon, if only because elaborate food crafts allow me to escape family holiday drama with the excuse of “sorry, I was too busy frosting badass flames on my locomotive-shaped brick of marshmallows and butter to notice Aunt Clara’s meltdown.”

If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.

Review: Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Cereal

IMG_4149We’re a few days deep into December now, and even though I have yet to be buried a few feet deep in snow, the holiday spirit is already coursing through my veins like some sort of magical energizing fifth humor that the Greeks never noticed. Or maybe I’m just feeling a rush from all the sugar in this Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch.

Returning in a new, vibrant red packaging for 2015 (SCTC debuted last winter), Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch combines 4 of the greatest words of all time into one great cereal name. I mean, seriously: sugar, cookie, toast, and crunch. Each of these words on its own represents something fantastic and delightful, and now they’re all partying together in the form of white powdered flakes.

The only way General Mills could’ve made the name more badass is if they somehow worked in the word “Tyrannosaurus.”

Continue reading

Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca: A Trip to General Mills & Pokémon Cereal

Pour a towering bowl of stale, decades-old Waffelos and gather round, everyone, because cereal pundit Gabe Fonseca has two new videos in his nostalgic and historic Cereal Time YouTube series that we’d like to share with you!

The first is a bit different from Gabe’s other Cereal Time videos; instead of giving an extensive rundown on the history and flavor of a specific cereal, we viewers are taken on a magical journey field trip to General Mills’ cereal archive! It’s like getting a candid, behind the scenes look at the Oval Office or the making of a Hollywood blockbuster…but 10 times better because this one involves Wackies and Sugaroos!

Which old cereal from this video would you all most like to try (or try again after many years)? As a Golden Grahams fan, the idea of eating Peanut Butter Grahams really butters my proverbial biscuit! Continue reading

News: Even more Star Wars Cereal Boxes from General Mills!

 

Remember when I said I was done talking about General Mills’ Star Wars boxes? Well that was a bigger lie than “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Because who could’ve expected that General Grievous Mills would release another batch of tie-in boxes for Episode VII, which releases less than three weeks from now?

But yes, it’s true, as a tweet from General Mills has revealed that two new characters will soon grace the front of Star Wars Cereal (which I reviewed earlier this year). Darth Vader is joined by the sinister Kylo Ren, while Yoda and the light side of the force are joined by…BB-8? Oh man, Yoda really got the short end of the stick on that deal (well, he always gets a short stick, I guess).

If these boxes ever have to square off to determine the fate of the galaxy, let’s just say it was nice knowing you all.

Oh, and if you happen to spot these new boxes on shelves, you know where to send your pictures!