Category Archives: Reviews

Review: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch

Well, you know what this means, folks. Now that I’ve reviewed Pumpkin Spice Cheerios and Pumpkin Spice Life, once I review this Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch, I’ll have tried every new pumpkin spice cereal, and 2016’s pumpkin spice season will be over.

Harvesters will cease harvesting. Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte taps will run dry. And maniacally grinning jack-o-lanterns will become mild mannered office workers once more.

Nah, I’m just kidding. We all know there’ll be a million new pumpkin spice breakfast bars, Greek yogurts, and Greek yogurt-filled breakfast bars on shelves before I even click the “Publish” button on this post.

But while we wait for that Nutri-Grain Bar Nutri-nitty-gritty to befall us, let’s fall into a bowl of pumpkin spice Special K instead. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, pumpkin, special k. 11 Comments

Aug. ’16

Review: Quaker Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Life Cereal

I know this cereal is called Pumpkin Spice Life, but in my mind, there’s an invisible equals sign in-between the last two words.

Pumpkin Spice = Life.

It’s the kind of thing a true autumn addict would get tattooed above their knuckles after getting sent to jail for building jack-o-lantern totem poles above the legal height limit. If that sounds like the plot of a gritty Goosebumps reboot, then I’ve succeeded.

But for these next 3-4 months, pumpkin spice really will be life for grocery store browsers and BuzzFeed editors everywhere. And the latest cereal staple to jump on this cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, cloves, Donner, and Blitzen bandwagon is Life. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, life, pumpkin, quaker. 9 Comments

Aug. ’16

Review: General Mills Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Cheerios

Like Michael Meyers or Freddy Krueger, the taste of Halloween is already quietly creeping onto store shelves. But unlike Mike or Fred, pumpkin spice wants to please your taste buds instead of leaving them severed and bloody on the kitchen floor.

After all, pumpkin spice is addicting, and that’s why we keep inviting it back into our homes like dimwitted stock characters in a vampire movie. So whether you’re a pumpkin spice nut or a frustrated recoverer of “pumpkin spice fatigue,” please forgive me for disrupting your hot dogs ‘n’ lemonade days of August with General Mills’ new Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Cheerios. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cheerios, general mills, pumpkin. 9 Comments

Aug. ’16

Review: Baskin-Robbins Oreo Milk ‘n Cereal Ice Cream

Anyone who’s read this site or received a sobbing 3:00A.M. voicemail from me knows that I really, really miss Oreo O’s. During the early 2000s, those cookies ‘n’ creme flavored O’s were as meaningful to me as wedding rings. But then they were tragically discontinued, leaving me to “Extreme Cry” over their discontinued “Extreme Creme Taste.”

So you can understand why my ears perked up when I heard that Baskin Robbins’ August flavor of the month puts the words “Oreo” and “Cereal” in the same sentence.

Alas, Baskin-Robbins Oreo Milk ‘n Cereal Ice Cream has nothing to do with Oreo O’s, though it does sound interesting. It combines cereal milk-flavored ice cream with Oreo chunks, frosted corn flake cereal pieces, and a frosted corn flake swirl. We all know that “frosted corn flake cereal pieces” is generic marketing speak for Frosted Flakes, but I just think it’s funny that by adding in the word “corn,” Baskin-Robbins can avoid—to paraphrase a certain jungle cat—”a legal GRRRRey area!”

Let’s pounce into a scoop, shall we? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, frosted flakes, non cereal. 8 Comments

Aug. ’16

Review: Coffee Nut M&M’s (Flavor Vote Winner)

You probably don’t need to be reminded that this U.S. presidential election is already nuts.

So why don’t we just elect a bag of Coffee Nut M&M’s into the Oval Office, instead?

I mean, just look at them: they have perky energy, calm suaveness from their muted earth tones, and they understand the youth vote’s fascination with trendy caffeine ‘n’ sugar beverages. And I promise: unlike the two candidates who will be on ballots this November, Coffee Nut M&M’s won’t get into a petty flame war on Twitter.

Not to mention the fact that they have prior political experience. If you remember earlier this March, Mars Candy hosted an M&M’s “flavor vote election,” pitting Coffee Nut M&M’s against Chili Nut M&M’s and fan-favorite Honey Nut M&M’s.

Okay fine: Honey Nut was just a Dan-favorite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGJbW9XjQFo

It turns out that Coffee Nut was America’s favorite, and as part of its victory rally, it will be staying on grocery store shelves and in my stomach from here on out. To celebrate President Coffee Nut’s win, I’m going to proudly shake his hand—by which I mean I’m going to shamefully shake the entire contents of his pouch into my own hand.

Because despite what the new Coffee Nut M&M’s packaging says, I refuse to share. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, coffee, non cereal. 3 Comments

Jul. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Cocoa Krispies Treats with M&M’s Minis

Whether it’s ice cream, cappuccinos, pancakes, or Grandpa’s old 1972 Buick, everything’s better when you cover it in chocolate.

Heck, I was even gonna give you my complete, 5000+ item list of things that taste better when slathered in creamy cocoa, but I couldn’t read it because I covered the list in chocolate. Totally worth it, though: this list tastes delicious.

Rice Krispies Treats are no exception to the rule. Kellogg’s “new” Cocoa Krispies Treats—which have probably been released before—come in original and “with Milk Chocolate M&M’s Minis” varieties. Since that’s like IHOP selling Plain Waffles and Belgian Waffles with Maple Syrup for the same price, I predict that boxes of normal Cocoa Krispies Treats will slowly gather dust on grocery shelves until the zombie apocalypse, at which point they’ll be used and traded as valuable currency.

But I’m not here to talk about disappointing, underachieving, and plain Cocoa Krispies Treats. Today is all about his Harvard-bound, candy morsel-stuffed older brother. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, cereal bars, chocolate, kelloggs, rice krispies. Leave a comment

Jul. ’16

Review: Starbucks “Pop-Tarts” — Cinnamon + Brown Sugar Megpie

Despite what you may have seen or heard, this isn’t an actual Starbucks Pop-Tart. It isn’t a Starbucks Toaster Strudel, either. And it certainly is not a Starbucks Magpie, since i’m pretty sure the coffee chain’s aviary license expired decades ago.

No, Starbucks’ latest sugary coffee companions are the invention of New York baker Meghan Ritchie, and they’re called Megpies. More specifically, they are “artisan tarts,” which Google Translate claims is hipster-speak for “please don’t shame me as I dip this double-decker Pop-Tart into my Cotton Candy Frappuccino and accidentally spill some on my portable typewriter.”

Individually wrapped and sold next to the register, these all-natural Megpies come in strawberry and cinnamon + brown sugar. I can only assume this is a non-sugar coated (but still literally sugar coated) attempt to mimic Pop-Tarts’ two most popular flavors: Frosted Strawberry and Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon.

Since I’ve eaten enough Tiny Toast cereal this summer to give myself a not-so-tiny bloat, I decided to give the berries a break this time and give in to Cinnamon + Brown Sugar’s spicy temptation.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why I didn’t try one of each, it’s because these Totally Not Pop-Tarts will run you back $3.95 a pop, which is indeed more than the cost of a 16-count Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart box. That’s fine, Starbucks, as long as this Megpie has few shares of Google stock buried in its gooey innards. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cinnamon, non cereal, pop-tarts. 15 Comments

Jul. ’16

Review: Nature’s Path Organic Qi’a Superfood Cocoa Coconut Superflakes Cereal

Qi’a?

You mean like that car company? Or are you talking about those cute ceramic pets that grow plants on their backs? Oh, wait, you must be thinking of “iQi’a,” the popular Swedish furniture and meatball emporium.

Forgive me for the bad puns, but those were the things that came to my mind as I tried pronouncing the name of Qi’a Cocoa Coconut aloud in the cereal aisle. I’m still not sure I’m saying it right, and since it took me 3 months just to wrap my tongue around the correct pronunciation of quinoa, I might just quite while I’m ahead.

Nature’s Path Organic’s current Qi’a line of power bars and oatmeal also includes three new Superflakes cereals (the other two are Coconut Chia and Honey Chia). They’re expensive, so I had to be selective in my choice. I figured Cocoa Coconut would make for the most unique cereal, since chocolate and coconut is rarely seen in cereal ever since my doctor told me that “eating fudge-dipped macaroons in milk isn’t part of this complete breakfast.”

I guess he skipped the med school lesson on “how to diagnose a good time.” Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 4 rating, chocolate, coconut, nature's path, qi'a. 19 Comments