Category Archives: Reviews

Review: Fiber One Raisin Bran Clusters Cereal

Happy belated National Raisin Bran Cereal Day, everyone!

That’s right, yesterday, November 15 was dedicated to everyone’s favorite (and by “everyone,” I of course mean me and that weird guy who’s always hanging out behind the laundromat) type of cereal: the crunchy, fruity, and oftentimes cluster-packed combo that is raisin bran.

When the sun rose that beautiful morning, it was triumphantly holding two scoops. I sent out Raisin Bran Day greeting cards to all my friends (custom made; lousy Hallmark won’t recognize the holiday yet).

I bought presents for my colleagues (nothing brings a smile to someone’s face faster than a shoebox full of raisins and soggy flakes).

And I would’ve blown out the candles on a Raisin Bran Day cake, too, but the darn milk kept extinguishing the flame.

Okay, maybe none of that was true. But I did eat an embarrassingly large number of raisin bran-filled bowls. And while I’m paying for it this morning, I think it’s time to review another of the many raisin ban options available to all my fellow raisin ravers. Last week it was Trader Joe’s. Today?

Fiber One Raisin Bran Clusters.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, fiber one, general mills, raisin bran. Leave a comment

Nov. ’15

Review: Quaker Real Medleys Granola & Yogurt Blend Strawberry & Almond

*panting*

Sorry, I just need to catch my breath after typing out the name of this sort of new…what do I even call it? Yogurt cup? Granola yogurt? Cardboard receptacle for flavored powder and milk that features the grinning face of a friendly old man?

I’m just gonna call it grano-gurt for short.

But the fact of the matter is, the mass of words and ampersands in the name of this grano-gurt is a testament to just how ridiculously large the number of Quaker products out there is. With so many Quaker oat guy faces in the oatmeal/granola/hot cereal aisle, you’d think it was some weird oatmeal parody of Attack of the Clones. I mean, “Quinoa” sounds like the name of a Star Wars planet anyway.

In fact, the medley of words on this Real Medleys grano-gurt was so confusing, I didn’t even realize until I opened it that it wasn’t oatmeal at all. Regardless, granola is a close enough relative of cereal that I’ll give it a review anyway.

Anything to stop those dead, staring Quaker guy eyes from piercing into my soul.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, granola, quaker, strawberry. 2 Comments

Nov. ’15

Review: Trader Joe’s Organic Raisin Bran Clusters Cereal

Raisin bran isn’t just a cereal. It’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle I have to defend.

From friends, to family, to Jerry Seinfeld, many people make fun of raisin bran as a boring, healthy cereal. The kind of cereal where fun goes to die. The kind of cereal only fit for cracking lazy jokes about “regularity.”

But I defend raisin bran. Because while these spiteful rai-sinners poke fun at raisin bran cereals’ supposed blandness, there’s actually a wealth of diversity and innovation within the many different kinds of raisin bran available to ravenous bran-imals like me.

And today it’s time to talk about one of the best: Trader Joe’s Organic Raisin Bran Clusters.

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 10 rating, raisin bran, trader joe's. 9 Comments

Nov. ’15

Review: Reese’s Puffs Treats Cereal Bars

Another cereal bar review?

You might be asking yourself, “has Cerealously abandoned the art of the bowl forever? Are we destined to have all of our breakfasts now be in the form of bars? Should I start squeezing my scrambled eggs into portable rectangles?”

But fear not, bowled souls. Though the breakfast cereal industry is likely greatly influenced by the success of on-the-go breakfasts, my own recent magnetism towards bars is mostly sparked by the demanding nature of university life. After all, pouring 2% on a crackling bowl of Rice Krispies in the middle of an exam probably won’t win me any new friends.

So what’s the bar-tender’s special tonight? Reese’s Puffs Treats. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, cereal bars, general mills, reese's puffs. 5 Comments

Nov. ’15

Review: Holiday Rice Krispies Treats Blasted with M&M’s Minis

With Halloween just 2 days in the grave, you know what that means: time for food companies to go hog wild on marketing for the secularly ambiguous “holiday season.”

Or should I say “nog wild?” It’s about time we got an eggnog flavored cereal.

Now I love Thanksgiving just as much, if not more than the next guy—Mashed Potato-ism is my formally declared religion—but since we’re unlikely to see any turducken flavored cereals in the near future, it’s worth cutting straight to the red and green.

And while I’m not sure if these Rice Krispies Treats are new for 2015, please don’t tell me. I want to preserve the Christmas magic, as if these Treats were marshmallowy embodiments of Santa Claus himself. Let’s review!

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Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, cereal bars, holiday, kelloggs, rice krispies. Leave a comment

Oct. ’15

Review: Love Grown Foods Bats & Boos Chocolate & Vanilla Cereal

Picture this:

You’re 8 years old. You just finished a long night of successful trick-or-treating. You even remembered to avoid Old Lady Cruthers house. No way you were gonna fall for her candy/dental floss switcheroo this year! You take off your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles headpiece and empty your pillowcase of loot onto the living room floor.

But to your gasping surprise, the only thing that comes out…is beans!

This is the stuff Halloween nightmares are made of, right? Well, maybe not: don’t smash all your jack-o-lanterns in disgust just yet, because Love Grown Foods has released the latest in their line of bean based cereals: Bats & Boos Chocolate & Vanilla. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, halloween, love grown foods. 4 Comments

Oct. ’15

Review: Spookylicious Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts

Like a zombie rising from its grave, the burning hot, neon orange frosted pastry pops out of the toaster. It doesn’t groan, but it does sizzle. And it isn’t hungry to eat brains. No, it wants to be the one that gets eaten!

And I’m happy to oblige. Back again for 2015 are Spookylicious Pop-Tarts. They’re pretty much just regular Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts that have instead been frosted jack-o-lantern orange and sneezed on by some great, sprinkle-spewing monster. Surprisingly, this idea somehow beat out “Fergilicious Pop-Tarts,” which would have been equally scary. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, halloween, kelloggs, non cereal, pop-tarts. 1 Comment

Oct. ’15

Review: Quaker Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal

The pumpkin spice virus…it’s spread too far. We thought if anyone would be able to resist its nutmeg-scented temptation, it would be the Quaker Oats guy. But even his luscious white locks couldn’t protect him. The a-pumpk-alypse is upon us.

In reality, the existence of Pumpkin Spice Quaker Oatmeal is no surprise. I think there are more varieties of Quaker oatmeal than there are actual pumpkins (don’t fact check me on that), so it was only a matter of time before pumpkin reared its bulbous head.

This is the first oatmeal we’ve reviewed on this site so far, but hot cereals are cereal too, so they deserve fair representation. We’re all about equality here at Cerealously. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 3 rating, oatmeal, pumpkin, quaker. 5 Comments