Category Archives: Reviews

Review: Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats Cereal

As we all wait for the Great Pumpkin (he’ll show, trust me!), let’s gather round, snuggle up with our our Linus blankets, and I’ll tell you all about one of the only cereal options available for pumpkin junkies: Kellogg’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats!

Kellogg’s introduced these hay bale-shaped love letters to autumn a few months ago, but now they’re finally reaching the shelves of mainstream grocery stores everywhere. If you stopped reading that sentence halfway through to pull on your socks and shout “Honey, start the car!” I fully understand. While you shop, I’ll sit here and entertain your cat, who is now reading the screen in your absence. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, kelloggs, mini-wheats, pumpkin. 7 Comments

Sep. ’15

Review: Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch Cereal

Have you ever wanted to eat apple pie for breakfast, but your parents/grandma/dentist/grade school healthy eating propaganda film said no?

Well now it’s time to turn the tables on them (but not literally, I would hate to spill any cereal), because Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch is like a healthy apple pie that got crystallized and shattered into flakes and clusters by some wonderful alien technology.

I’m so glad aliens are using their powers for the betterment of breakfast now.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, kelloggs, special k. 11 Comments

Sep. ’15

Review: Frute Brute Cereal (2013)

I’ve been waiting for this moment for 2 years.

Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say, “my soul has been waiting for this moment for over 40 years.”

Since Fall has officially begun, I felt it was time to do something big to ring in the Halloween season. And by “ring,” I don’t mean “put 5 plastic spider rings on every finger and pretend to be the world’s lamest horror movie villain.” No, I’m going to eat a box of Frute Brute that I saved from 2013’s revival of the werewolf monster cereal that originally debuted in 1974. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 1 rating, 8 rating, general mills, halloween, monster cereals. 3 Comments

Sep. ’15

Review: Franken Berry and Boo Berry Fruit Roll-Ups

I remember a simpler time. A time we call…elementary school.

Back in those days of yore, the lunchroom took upon its own savage ecosystem, with rivaling table kingdoms each simultaneously isolated in their rituals and customs but also warring and bartering with neighbors. Within each kingdom was a long-developed economy of trade, in which treats brought from home carried value that could only be priced in terms of other foods. And like a real economy, these values were ever-fluctuating.

But there was one processed snack that never deviated in its worthiness as edible currency: Fruit Roll-Ups.

While a plastic baggie of half-crumbled cookies may have been worth 3 pre-packaged fruit cups one day and nothing but stale graham crackers the next (after the crash of the unpredictable schoolyard stock market on Oreos, most likely), Fruit Roll-Ups were the gold standard. They never failed to attract the attention of brown paper bag-toting snack brokers everywhere.

And now? They’re going Halloween! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, general mills, halloween, monster cereals, non cereal. Leave a comment

Sep. ’15

Review: Halloween Krave Cereal

It doesn’t take much to put me in the Halloween spirit.

A bag full of flimsy plastic spider rings? Yep. A sheet of glittery pumpkin stickers? Yep. Heck, even a hastily-drawn doodle of a sheet ghost in the margins of a notebook can turn me into the human personification of these emojis:

🎃👻💀

That’s why Kellogg’s new Halloween edition Krave cereal may be an incredibly simple concept on the surface, but it still has me crying happy, pumpkin spice-scented tears of anticipation for the month to come. Is that an exaggeration? I’ll let your imagination decide. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 10 rating, halloween, kelloggs, krave. 2 Comments

Sep. ’15

Review: Canadian Cheerios Plus Cereal (Honey Almond & Cinnamon Coconut)

♫ O Canadaaaa… ♪

It’s a shame General Mills wasn’t able to work some form of that musical pun into the promotion of their new, Canada-exclusive line of Cheerios Plus cereals. But I guess I can’t blame them: General Mills U.S. hasn’t used “The Sprinkle-Spangled Banner” yet, either.

As I wrote previously, Cheerios Plus appears to be a Canadian take on the U.S.’s recent Cheerios Protein cereals. Like Cheerios Protein, Cheerios Plus boasts the addition of new, healthier ingredients.

But there are a few differences here between Plus and Protein, both on a surface and flavor level. Cheerios Plus ditches the bulky cardboard box of its U.S. brother in favor of a sleek, modern black bag. I’m not sure how I feel about this choice; on one hand, it reduces waste. But on the other, it leaves my Cheerios in such a fragile state that the noise of a passing lawnmower could pulverize them into dust like an opera singer shattering a wine glass.

But hey, if they’re from a country that already bags its milk, I guess bagged cereal is a logical next step. What’s next: bagged scrambled eggs? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, 8 rating, cheerios, general mills. 7 Comments

Sep. ’15

Review: Count Chocula Cereal (2015)

It feels just like Christmas morning…that is, if your idea of Christmas morning involves carved pumpkins, $2 fake cobwebs from CVS, and VHS tapes of the Halloween series playing on infinite repeat (yes, even The Curse of Michael Myers is welcome here).

Why is that?

Because monster cereals are back, baby!

Even though it’s only mid-September, and people haven’t even put away their Labor Day decorations yet (you mean you don’t have a giant inflatable businessman on your front lawn?), Walgreen’s is already committed to injecting the orange and black life essence of Halloween straight into the veins of consumers. Okay, maybe a poor choice of verbiage for a place that contains a pharmacy. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, count chocula, general mills, halloween, monster cereals. 10 Comments

Sep. ’15

Review: Kellogg’s Origins Fruit & Nut Blend Cereal

This summer: Brendan Fraser returns in the prequel to the sequel that no one was asking for. Have you ever wondered about the origins of the Origins?

No? Well too bad.

Because it’s about to get real nutty up in here.

That’s right, last time I reviewed a flavor of Kellogg’s Origins, I likened the name to a Brendan Fraser movie. And like any sequel, this second flavor in Kellogg’s new health-focused line of grain cereals is fraught with disappointment, sadness, and…cranberries?

As before, a cutout section on the box’s front gives a sneak peek into the bag’s contents. So don’t worry: there’s actually cereal inside. Kellogg’s isn’t trying to trick you into buying a box full of gravel and old Beanie Babies. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 4 rating, kelloggs. Leave a comment