How did I get here?
All I did was innocently pour myself a bowl of Cracklin’ Oat Bran. Sure, my friends told me that it was a “slippery slope,” and that “once you crackle, there’s no going backle.” But I didn’t listen. No cereal could be that good, let alone that addicting.
Yet here I am: curled up in the fetal position on a milk-stained mattress in the basement of some “Cracklin’ house.” As I pull myself to my feet, the air is dusty with cinnamon and graham. I stagger to the door, past the scores of bran junkies, savagely filling their spoons and stuffing their faces with little brown rectangles in a futile attempt to recapture the thrill of that first bowl. I leave, and blinded by the daylight (how long have I been here?), I wonder how I hit this new low.
Cracklin’ Oat Bran: not even once. Continue reading
