Anyone who’s read this site or received a sobbing 3:00A.M. voicemail from me knows that I really, really miss Oreo O’s. During the early 2000s, those cookies ‘n’ creme flavored O’s were as meaningful to me as wedding rings. But then they were tragically discontinued, leaving me to “Extreme Cry” over their discontinued “Extreme Creme Taste.”
So you can understand why my ears perked up when I heard that Baskin Robbins’ August flavor of the month puts the words “Oreo” and “Cereal” in the same sentence.
Alas, Baskin-Robbins Oreo Milk ‘n Cereal Ice Cream has nothing to do with Oreo O’s, though it does sound interesting. It combines cereal milk-flavored ice cream with Oreo chunks, frosted corn flake cereal pieces, and a frosted corn flake swirl. We all know that “frosted corn flake cereal pieces” is generic marketing speak for Frosted Flakes, but I just think it’s funny that by adding in the word “corn,” Baskin-Robbins can avoid—to paraphrase a certain jungle cat—”a legal GRRRRey area!”
You probably don’t need to be reminded that this U.S. presidential election is already nuts.
So why don’t we just elect a bag of Coffee Nut M&M’s into the Oval Office, instead?
I mean, just look at them: they have perky energy, calm suaveness from their muted earth tones, and they understand the youth vote’s fascination with trendy caffeine ‘n’ sugar beverages. And I promise: unlike the two candidates who will be on ballots this November, Coffee Nut M&M’s won’t get into a petty flame war on Twitter.
Not to mention the fact that they have prior political experience. If you remember earlier this March, Mars Candy hosted an M&M’s “flavor vote election,” pitting Coffee Nut M&M’s against Chili Nut M&M’s and fan-favorite Honey Nut M&M’s.
Okay fine: Honey Nut was just a Dan-favorite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGJbW9XjQFo
It turns out that Coffee Nut was America’s favorite, and as part of its victory rally, it will be staying on grocery store shelves and in my stomach from here on out. To celebrate President Coffee Nut’s win, I’m going to proudly shake his hand—by which I mean I’m going to shamefully shake the entire contents of his pouch into my own hand.
Because despite what the new Coffee Nut M&M’s packaging says, I refuse to share. Continue reading →
Deep breaths, Dan. It’s only August. It’s still not socially acceptable to wear a vampire costume into work, and if you try trick-or-treating tonight, you’ll be lucky to post bail by October 31st.
But oh, brother, is it hard to not get swept up in Halloween spirit already, especially when Kellogg’s latest press release announced their full Fall lineup, including the new Frosted Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts & Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows cereal seen above.
The lineup also includes the previously leaked Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch and Pumpkin Spice Nutri-Grain Bars (maybe we’ll finally see a Nutri-Grain review on this blog?), and it also confirmed that Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats, Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch, Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, and Pumpkin Spice Fudge Stripes will all be returning this year.
But these two new, fruity and skeletal treats are easily the most exciting products of the bunch. All these snacks are hitting shelves this month, and I look forward to rapidly eating them to the point of satisfied nausea. Just like I did with my candy on Halloween night.
Back in April, I scored an exclusive photo of a Caramel Apple Pop-Tart, and now we have the box art to match the rumors. I commend Kellogg’s for choosing green Granny Smith apples for their neon icing drizzle (which reminds me of the carpet in a bowling alley) instead of Red Delicious, and I hope it brings a puckering, tart bite to pair with the sweet caramel.
The box art also confirms that the filling comes in ribboned shades of brown. I have no idea what the implications of this are, but I do know that come October, I’ll be filling an old-timey bucket with these pastries and bobbing for them while blindfolded.
As for Chocolate Frosted Flakes with Skeleton Marshmallows, they aren’t actually new so much as they are a Frankenstein combination of old cereal bits. Chocolate Frosted Flakes (also known as Choco Zucaritas) aren’t the easiest cereal to find on shelves, but they do exist. The skeleton marshmallows, meanwhile, made their debut last Halloween in Froot Loops and Apple Jacks.
I wasn’t terribly thrilled with normal Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows, but this cereal has me happily envisioning pillow cases full of Mallo Cups. Better yet, all I’d have to do is toss in Golden Grahams (and maybe a little liquid smoke) for a taste of late summer s’mores.
Cereal aside, I’m excited about the mail-in flashlights teased on the Frosted Flakes box. They appear to come in 4 varieties, with each beaming an image of Tony the Tiger, a Pop-Tart, our lovable Rice Krispies boys, or Toucan Sam. I hope we get to choose, because I’ve never wanted anything more than to fall asleep under the grinning glow of an iridescent, anthropomorphized toaster pastry.
It would take “sweet dreams” to a whole new level.
(Product images via Kellogg’s. And once again, special thanks to Candy Hunting for tipping me off about the photos.)
Forget about all those Clintons, Bernies, and floppy hair-dos: the real election you should care about involves the Count, Boo, and Frank. You’ll never hear the phrase “lesser of two evils” in this election, because every candidate is equally lovable and sweet.
Which is ironic, because all three are monsters.
That’s right: Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry Monster Cereals are coming back to shelves for Fall 2016, starting in late August. But this time they’re not just here to spook and entertain. They vant your vote. Even though it’s only August 1st, General Mills is making the sweaty dog days of summer howl like werewolves with their debut of MonstersVote2016.com: the online headquarters for the Monsters Cereal Election. Here you can vote, take alignment polls, read monster bios, download posters, and see a live map of nationwide vote distribution.
This is exciting enough to make me taste ghosts of Boo Berry in the back of my mouth (though that might be from my stockpile of 2015 boxes). Every four years, Halloween fans get sad when the American presidential race overshadows their favorite shadowy holiday. So props to General Mills for capitalizing on this capitalist ennui with a playful twist of Halloween spirit.
There’s a lot to talk about here, so allow me to take a deep breath and cancel that impulsive tattoo parlor appointment I made to get #FrankenBerry2016 inked on my forehead. Continue reading →
Fall is approaching, which means I’m Counting down the days until I get to share the annual cereal news that I’m—quite Frankly—Berry excited about. The kind of news that no one would ever Boo.
But for now: let’s talk about Trix!
You may remember how earlier this year, General Mills chose an “Honorary Real Trix Rabbit” out of many hopeful contestants. Now the winner, Cinnabun, appears to have taken on the role of Olympic recruiter. From now until August 19th, General Mills’ Rabbit Showdown competition is looking for videos of the country’s most athletic rabbits. And if you needed a good reason to enter, the prize sounds pretty fluffing sweet:
See, this is why the competition excites me. I’m a sucker for new packaging design, and the three winners of the Rabbit Showdown will get to appear on boxes with some of the cereal aisle’s most recognizable celebrities. It’s always been a dream of mine to be immortalized in cardboard while high-fiving Sonny the Cuckoo, so now I guess I have to learn one of those Harry Potter transfiguration spells.
Or at least just ask my doctor how many Cadbury Eggs I have to eat to be biologically classified as a rabbit. Continue reading →
Whether it’s ice cream, cappuccinos, pancakes, or Grandpa’s old 1972 Buick, everything’s better when you cover it in chocolate.
Heck, I was even gonna give you my complete, 5000+ item list of things that taste better when slathered in creamy cocoa, but I couldn’t read it because I covered the list in chocolate. Totally worth it, though: this list tastes delicious.
Rice Krispies Treats are no exception to the rule. Kellogg’s “new” Cocoa Krispies Treats—which have probably been released before—come in original and “with Milk Chocolate M&M’s Minis” varieties. Since that’s like IHOP selling Plain Waffles and Belgian Waffles with Maple Syrup for the same price, I predict that boxes of normal Cocoa Krispies Treats will slowly gather dust on grocery shelves until the zombie apocalypse, at which point they’ll be used and traded as valuable currency.
But I’m not here to talk about disappointing, underachieving, and plain Cocoa Krispies Treats. Today is all about his Harvard-bound, candy morsel-stuffed older brother. Continue reading →
“Pumpkin Spice Life” doesn’t even sound like the name of a cereal. It just sounds like an accurate description of September through November these days.
From yogurt and doughnuts to dish soap and cat litter (nope, I’m not kidding), pumpkin spice takes no prisoners with its potent combo of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, sometimes cloves, and sometimes even actual pumpkin—but usually just an orange Starbucks squirt bottle labeled “P.U.M.P.K.I.N.”
Two years ago, you would have been hard pressed to find pumpkin spice in any cereal outside of Trader Joe’s Pumpkin O’s. But now as the Great Pumpkin Invasion continues (not to be confused with the beloved holiday special Duck and Cover Charlie Brown: It’s the Great Pumpkin Invasion!), more and more breakfast classics are getting in on the fun.
Frosted Mini-Wheats and Puffins did it last year, Special K has already thrown its hat in the 2016 ring using its noodly red letter appendages, and now even the hip ol’ Quaker dude is investigating this hip trend all the young people are raving about.
It looks a lot like normal Life, but it claims to be “Naturally Flavored with Other Natural Flavors.” This is in sharp contrast to the spicy superstars of Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch, but I, for one, am looking forward to Pumpkin Spice Life: “the cereal so natural they named it twice.”
Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Life cereal popped up on product review site Influenster the other day, and our ever-vigilant friends at Candy Hunting blew the story as wide open as a chunky gourd on an episode of Punkin’ Chunkin’. Thanks again to Candy Hunting for being a regular Encyclopedia Brown when it comes to all things brown: be they chocolate, caramel, or peanut butter.
While we we wait for Pumpkin Spice Life to hit shelves, we can just squirt a bunch of that P.U.M.P.K.I.N. syrup on our Cinnamon Life.
While we were all prancing about in the summer sun, hatching Pokémon eggs and frying enough real eggs on the scalding pavement to give Denny’s a run for their money, Kellogg’s silently let slip their first 2016 pumpkin spice breakfast product.
It’s Limited Edition Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch, and Kellogg’s isn’t messing around with the pumpkin spice authenticity. Taking a spicy page from 2015’s Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats‘ ingredients list, Pumpkin Spice Crunch combines the rice and wheat Special K flakes we all know and love tolerate with nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and cinnamon clusters.
Always the pumpkin spice bridesmaid, cloves was unavailable for comment.
It looks like this Pumpkin Spice Special K uses the same type of soft, yogurt-ish clusters as last fall’s Special K Apple Cinnamon Crunch. Since that cereal was one of the season’s tastiest surprises, I’m already excited enough for Pumpkin Spice Crunch to paint a grinning jack-o-lantern on my stomach.
(My belly button will be the candle.)
Huge shoutout to our friends at Candy Hunting for the photo above. It was found on Influenster with no additional release date information, but given how much earlier pumpkin spice products are released each successive year, you should expect to see Special K Pumpkin Spice Crunch on shelves 3 days ago.
