Raisin bran isn’t just a cereal. It’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle I have to defend.
From friends, to family, to Jerry Seinfeld, many people make fun of raisin bran as a boring, healthy cereal. The kind of cereal where fun goes to die. The kind of cereal only fit for cracking lazy jokes about “regularity.”
But I defend raisin bran. Because while these spiteful rai-sinners poke fun at raisin bran cereals’ supposed blandness, there’s actually a wealth of diversity and innovation within the many different kinds of raisin bran available to ravenous bran-imals like me.
And today it’s time to talk about one of the best: Trader Joe’s Organic Raisin Bran Clusters.
Well if so, then you’ll have a heckuva time arguing with cereal chronologist Gabe Fonseca. In the first of the latest two videos we’d like to share with you from his Cereal Time series—which details the winding history of cereal that’s more colorful than a Candy Land board—Gabe begrudgingly covers the initially European, choco-stuffed biscuit sensation which has only recently blessed American shelves.
I’ve mentioned before how divisive Krave is between rabid haters and fans, and Gabe and I are proof of these two camps. When you randomly poll someone about their opinion on the cereal, it’s like playing a game of Krave roulette. And speaking of Krave Roulette…
So how about you, fellow cereal-vores? Do you crave it, or do you save it…for the garbagemen to pick up off your curbside?
Gabe’s second video covers Bill & Ted’s Excellent Cereal, a tie-in to the mondo radical movie Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. This cereal is a mix of holed cinnamon square pieces (kinda looks like a spiritual predecessor to Jif cereal, eh?) and marshmallowy bits.
It’s nice to have more evidence that the concept of tying in a movie with an oat and marshmallow cereal is such a long-lasting tradition. I bet even in the time of the dinosaurs, they were mixing crunchy Brontosaurus femurs with dino egg shaped marbits. Maybe Bill & Ted can go back and confirm this.
If you think Gabe’s videos are most excellent!, be sure to check ’em all out. Every Cereal Time video can be found here, and you can check out Gabe’s Twitter, as well.
You might be asking yourself, “has Cerealously abandoned the art of the bowl forever? Are we destined to have all of our breakfasts now be in the form of bars? Should I start squeezing my scrambled eggs into portable rectangles?”
But fear not, bowled souls. Though the breakfast cereal industry is likely greatly influenced by the success of on-the-go breakfasts, my own recent magnetism towards bars is mostly sparked by the demanding nature of university life. After all, pouring 2% on a crackling bowl of Rice Krispies in the middle of an exam probably won’t win me any new friends.
So what’s the bar-tender’s special tonight? Reese’s Puffs Treats. Continue reading →
With Halloween just 2 days in the grave, you know what that means: time for food companies to go hog wild on marketing for the secularly ambiguous “holiday season.”
Or should I say “nog wild?” It’s about time we got an eggnog flavored cereal.
Now I love Thanksgiving just as much, if not more than the next guy—Mashed Potato-ism is my formally declared religion—but since we’re unlikely to see any turducken flavored cereals in the near future, it’s worth cutting straight to the red and green.
And while I’m not sure if these Rice Krispies Treats are new for 2015, please don’t tell me. I want to preserve the Christmas magic, as if these Treats were marshmallowy embodiments of Santa Claus himself. Let’s review!
You’re 8 years old. You just finished a long night of successful trick-or-treating. You even remembered to avoid Old Lady Cruthers house. No way you were gonna fall for her candy/dental floss switcheroo this year! You take off your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles headpiece and empty your pillowcase of loot onto the living room floor.
But to your gasping surprise, the only thing that comes out…is beans!
This is the stuff Halloween nightmares are made of, right? Well, maybe not: don’t smash all your jack-o-lanterns in disgust just yet, because Love Grown Foods has released the latest in their line of bean based cereals: Bats & Boos Chocolate & Vanilla. Continue reading →
Like a zombie rising from its grave, the burning hot, neon orange frosted pastry pops out of the toaster. It doesn’t groan, but it does sizzle. And it isn’t hungry to eat brains. No, it wants to be the one that gets eaten!
And I’m happy to oblige. Back again for 2015 are Spookylicious Pop-Tarts. They’re pretty much just regular Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts that have instead been frosted jack-o-lantern orange and sneezed on by some great, sprinkle-spewing monster. Surprisingly, this idea somehow beat out “Fergilicious Pop-Tarts,” which would have been equally scary. Continue reading →
The pumpkin spice virus…it’s spread too far. We thought if anyone would be able to resist its nutmeg-scented temptation, it would be the Quaker Oats guy. But even his luscious white locks couldn’t protect him. The a-pumpk-alypse is upon us.
In reality, the existence of Pumpkin Spice Quaker Oatmeal is no surprise. I think there are more varieties of Quaker oatmeal than there are actual pumpkins (don’t fact check me on that), so it was only a matter of time before pumpkin reared its bulbous head.
This is the first oatmeal we’ve reviewed on this site so far, but hot cereals are cereal too, so they deserve fair representation. We’re all about equality here at Cerealously. Continue reading →
I can think of no better way to start this review than with a ghost emoji. Okay, maybe if it was a blue ghost emoji (get your priorities straight, Apple!).
Now that Count Chocula and Franken Berry have had their time in the ethereal spotlight, we must complete the monster cereal trilogy (if only it were a quintilogy; we miss you, Fruit Brute, and Yummy Mummy!) by highlighting the mischievous blue specter himself: Boo Berry!
Unlike the Count’s chocolate fanaticism and Frank’s strong strawberry love, Boo Berry takes a more polygamist flavor approach. You would expect an outright claim to blueberry, but his cereal claims to simply be “berry” flavored. Rather than being deterred by this vagueness, I take it as an open invitation to interpret whatever wild Snozzberry or Islandberry flavors my imagination desires.
It’s like the cereal equivalent of an abstract painting! Continue reading →
Raisin bran isn’t just a cereal. It’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle I have to defend.
