What would Tony the Tiger say about the new Frosted Flakes with Energy Clusters from Kellogg’s? And I mean the real, Thurl Ravenscroft-voiced Tony the Tiger, not the meme-spouting CGI self-parody he has become. My guess is something along the lines of:
“They’re GRRRRanulated indictments of the 21st century zeitgeist’s perplexing infatuation with ‘health-ifying’ every facet of their day, despite the tendency of producers to use puffery and buzzwords to beguile and mislead!”
Or maybe he’d just say they’re great. Tomato, to-mah-toe, right? Continue reading →
“Toasted Oatmeal Flakes? That sounds like the kind of boring cereal that’s been sitting in the back of my grandma’s pantry since the Great Depression forced people to hand-toast their oatmeal. I almost fell asleep halfway through reading the word OatmZzzZz…”
But your weirdly specific thought would be wrong. Because these are good. So good that, somewhere in the ghostly beyond, the Quaker Oats guy is shaking his fist and bellowing:
As part of our corn and oat-based commitment to providing the latest and best in cereal news and reviews, Cerealously is seeking reader input!
Since we can’t be everywhere all of the time (or can we? Seriously, if you know a good omnipresence guy, hit me up with his phone number), we’re gonna rely on you(yes, that means you) to fill in our blindspots. And that means more than just spotting us when backing into a parking spot.
If you’re out shopping and see a cereal that is cool, new, or a combination of both (new-l?), don’t hesitate to snap a photo and send it to us. If we haven’t covered it yet, it may appear on the site (along with photo credit, of course) in one of our cereal news posts.
Additionally, if you have a favorite cereal, whether it’s new, classic, or even one you invented in your kitchen by mixing Crunchberries, Scooby-Doo fruit snacks, and orange soda (new from Nickelodeon: it’s Kenan & Kel cereal!) that you want reviewed for the site, send us that suggestion, too! We’d be more than happy to share in your favorite breakfast memories.
If you’re up to the challenge, just click on the big ol’ picture of Golden Grahams in this post (click, don’t lick; that’s one mistake that’s hard to explain to the repair guy at Best Buy). Or you can use the “Submit” link at the top of the site to send us something any time.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s breakfast time (a.k.a. all the time).
And so begins the introduction to Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Awakens, Realizes It is Hungry, Checks the Pantry, Sees Only Star Wars Cereal, Groans, and Heads Back to BedContinue reading →
The cereal aisle has become a genuine clusterf*** of “extreme” styled cereal boxes boasting to passerby that their addition of oat clusters has somehow made a sugar-filled classic into something more suitable for the health-conscious.
Somewhere nearby, Honey Bunches of Oats smirks smugly at all the newbies: he’s had energy-packed clusters since 1989!
The latest of these breakfast bandwagoners is Chex Clusters. Continue reading →
Canada Day occurred this past week, and this weekend marks the much-beloved American Independence Day (you can tell it’s July 4th solely by the collective sound of several million ketchup bottles squelching their tomato-y innards in unison over millions more hot dogs and hamburgers). But this is Cerealously, not “Catching Up with Ketchup,” so let’s talk about what really matters.
I was lucky enough to spend this past week on vacation with my family that has become a loving American-Canadian hybrid. What this meant was that the pantry shelves were packed tight with snacks of both origins, a union which I viewed as an edible symbol of our countries’ goodwill. I mean, is there anything more beautiful than learning French as you eat?
It was a damp and cloudy Saturday morning. It was that sad type of weather where the clouds are eternally on the cusp of raining, yet it never comes. Essentially, it was the weather equivalent of that “I feel like I’m about to sneeze, but this potential sneeze prefers to tease” experience. In short, it was a far cry from the sunny and pristine childhood Saturdays you typically associate with cereal.
But I wasn’t about to let that dampen my mood, as well. Because it was 6:30am, and it was time to get driving. Why? Because it was the day of the 2015 Cereal City Festival, of course! Hosted every summer by Kellogg’s and Post in their shared city headquarters of Battle Creek, Michigan, the festival is an all-you-can-eat extravaganza celebrating the food which we all love, and which Battle Creek is built on (you can’t prove to me that the soil isn’t Cocoa Pebble dust). Somewhere in Minnesota, General Mills watches with jealousy. Continue reading →
Picture it: you angrily punch the alarm clock and groan loudly to the heavens above your bleary, slowly focusing eyes.
It’s Monday again, so you try to channel your inner Garfield and muster up some sarcastic quip, but the lingering sleepies in your eyes prevent any coherent thought. Oh well, so much for the orange cat. At least you do have leftover lasagna for lunch. Or is it linguini?
Hey! Enough dawdling! You have to go to work!
You stumble and bumble through your morning routine (Pants on right-side-out? Check. Sickeningly black coffee brewing? Check.), even though your mind is still in last night’s dream with Carmen Electra and that piñata in a jacuzzi. If you’re gonna make it through Johnson’s 9am “productivity jamboree,” you’re gonna need something wholesome, yet satisfying for breakfast.
So you tear open the pantry like Chewbacca tears off arms, and you see the sun smiling back at you. No, not that flaming hot, helium-loving ball in the sky: this is a good sun. The one proudly hoisting twin scoops on your familiar purple box of Raisin Bran Crunch. Continue reading →
What would Tony the Tiger say about the new Frosted Flakes with Energy Clusters from Kellogg’s? And I mean the real, Thurl Ravenscroft-voiced Tony the Tiger, not the meme-spouting CGI self-parody he has become. My guess is something along the lines of:
