Spooned & Spotted (Germany): Cars 3 Cereal

Cars 3 Cereal

How ironic: a cereal about anthropomorphized, rapidly accelerating automobiles hits breakfast aisles overseas, just as the American cereal biz is slowing to a snail’s pace. And I don’t mean Turbo the snail, either. We all agreed to never talk about that movie again.

Sorry if I sound a little sour—the dog days of summer are just never the best for new cereals. Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry are just on the cusp of hitting major stores, and those dough-forsaken Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites are still eluding me, but other than that, I have to resort to posting pictures of licensed movie cereals that I can’t even buy. Continue reading

Review: Trader Joe’s Organic Purple Maize Flakes

Trader Joe's Organic Purple Maize Flakes Cereal Review – Box

Ha, purple corn? Yeah, right.

What’s next? Purple carrots? Purple Doritos? Purple ketchup? That’ll be the day!

Oh, what’s that? You say all four of those things have existed before? Deep down, I knew it all along. After all, I was (and pretty much still am) that weirdo kid who would’ve happily dipped his purple Doritos in purple ketchup had the two existed concurrently.

(Staggering the releases of Heinz EZ Squirt and Doritos Rainbows by a decade and a half must’ve been a deliberate move by the junk food deities made for our protection.)

And it’s because I am such an oddball snack-loving goofball that I’m excited to try Trader Joe’s newest cereal: Organic Purple Maize Flakes. And it’s because I love the color purple so much that it took me until I got home from Trader Joe’s to realize the Hendrixian pun in this product’s name—I spent the entire car ride with visions of Grimace and Oprah all in my brain. Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted: 2017 Monster Cereals!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXV4q44Dk0l/?taken-by=cantbear2livewithoutit

And just like that, the residual sweat of summer’s dog days has been wicked away, replaced with the foaming spittle of Halloween’s werewolf days.

Early August has long meant the resurrection of Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry, but even when I know it’s coming, I still get giddy when I see those pointy teeth, head valves, and that little porkpie hat. They’re the edible harbingers of an entire spookily delicious time of the year—the literal breakfasts of Halloween’s eating season, if you will.

Instagram user @cantbear2livewithoutit has the enviable honor of being 2017’s first successful Monster hunter, having found the trio at a Foodworld store, though General Mills has confirmed that the cereals have shipped everywhere as of late July.

As far as themes go, the Three Muske-Fears here have scaled back from their grandiose 2016 election campaign. Despite getting points for effort, the online voting process was riddled with bugs and miscommunication, while consumers in general were a little too election-fatigued to be thrilled by a Transylvanian one (it was clear within a week that the Count’s name recognition would be unbeatable).

This year, Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry’s cereal box artwork simply puts a new perspective on 2015’s augmented reality boxes—but they add the novel idea of monster marshmallows! It’s a simply concept, but a refreshingly innocent one. Count Chocula keeps his iconic, cocoa-swirled bat marbits, but Franken Berry gets his lumpy head turned into sugar nuggets, while Boo Berry’s box is filled with sweet used napkins.

I mean sheet ghosts—sheet ghosts! Please don’t haunt me, ghost of Pete Lorre.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXXqKKED7HP/?taken-by=cantbear2livewithoutit

Can’tBEAR2livewithoutit was also kind enough to share the back of the box art. While the past few years have at least included cameos by cult favorite monster cereals Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy, it seems like this year they’re well and truly sleeping in their respective doghouse and pyramid. Instead, we get a suite of monster cereal cosplays from a bunch of other General Mills cereal mascots—and the Pillsbury Doughboy.

I love the idea of other food characters hanging out like some giant crossover episode, and I heartily hope that the Doughboy gets his own zombie-themed Pillsburied Alive monster cereal next year.

Until then, I’ll be hunting these boxes for a more comprehensive breakdown. Until then, our thanks go again to Can’tBEAR2livewithoutit for sharing the photo. Wanna see your own find in a Spooned & Spotted post? We’d love to see your latest breakfast haul, discovery, or feast: send it over on our Submissions page.

Spooned & Spotted (Canada): Oatmeal Crisp Apple Crisp Cereal

Apple Crisp Oatmeal Crisp Cereal

Oatmeal Crisp is a strange and wonderful beast, and it’s quietly getting a new Apple Crisp variety—in Canada only.

Traditionally lumped with Basic 4 and Raisin Nut Bran in the odd pantheon of “General Mills Cereals That Are Really But No One Talks About Them,” Oatmeal Crisp is a decadent cereal featuring toasted oatmeal flakes glazed with sugar syrup, paired with almond slivers and granola clusters.

So it’s pretty much normal oatmeal, just made more crunchy, less microwaveable, and with about a thousand more delicious calories per oatmeal-imeter.

Given my love for toasted oatmeal cereals, I’m personally embarrassed that haven’t geeked out about it more. As punishment, I’ll accept execution by way of conveyor belt-induced mass Oatmeal Crisp ingestion.

Canada’s newest Apple Crisp Oatmeal Crisp variety, discovered and kindly shared by our friend Junk Food Jeff, excitingly pairs the not-so-iconic cereal with the apple-cinnamon taste (and homely thatched charm) of a homemade apple pie, apple streusel, or apple slice topped with cinnamon and butter and microwaved for 12 seconds because I’m too poor to bake, okay Grandma?

Meanwhile, America has only seen regular Almond and Hearty Raisin Oatmeal Crisp in the past decade or so. I tried to more thoroughly research Oatmeal Crisp’s past American flavors, but this cult favorite is so elusive that online cereal historians can’t come to a consensus. The cereal’s Wikipedia page also name-drops Triple Berry, Apple Brown Sugar, Maple Nut, and Vanilla Yogurt as past, oddly specific flavors, while trusted resource Mr. Breakfast only names Maple Brown Sugar in addition to the mainstays.

Whatever Oatmeal Crisp’s true past contains (perhaps we once briefly overlapped with a parallel universe where Oatmeal Crisp is a currency), I’m just excited that its shelf presence isn’t petering out here in the 21st century. As Basic 4 and Raisin Nut Bran feel like they’re becoming modern relics, one of them has to survive and speak on behalf of weird cereals everywhere.

As a cereal weirdo myself, I thank Oatmeal Crisp for being my Lorax.

Our thanks again to Junk Food Jeff for sharing the photo. Wanna see your own find in a Spooned & Spotted post? We’d love to see your latest breakfast haul, discovery, or feast: send it over on our Submissions page.

Review: Quaker Overnight Oats – Toasted Coconut & Almond Crunch

Quaker Toasted Coconut & Almond Crunch Overnight Oats Review – Cup

Is it just me, or has the humble coconut been having a quietly nutty couple years in the breakfast aisle?

Before 2016, we rarely saw the milk-stuffed tropical sphere appear at breakfast time—unless we watched Monty Python’s Holy Grail while eating our Saturday morning munchies—but now it seems like every Girl Scout, superfood, and massive anthropomorphized consonant is paying homage to the fruit with translucent slivers of coconutty love. I can’t say for certain just why there’s been a coconut resurgence. Perhaps it’s piggybacking off the coconut oil fad, but I like to believe it’s because Super Mario Sunshine’s 15th anniversary is next month.

Regardless, it unfortunately doesn’t feel like any recent coconut breakfast food really nails the coconut experience—Nature’s Path’s latest Love Crunch flavor comes closest, but even then, the dark chocolate is the star of the show.

I know what you’re probably thinking: “Oh, since this is his introduction to a Toasted Coconut & Almond Crunch Overnight Oats review, that must mean this new Quaker product finally breaks the ‘weak coconut streak’ like a cracked coconut over a marooned cartoon islander’s head!”

Wrong. Sorry to break the bad news, like a cracked coconut broken over a…you know…but this second flavor of Quaker Overnight Oats I’ve tried (after the borderline heavenly Raisin Walnut & Honey Heaven) doesn’t get coconut right, either. But what it does get right is that other nut in its name. Boy, does it ever. Continue reading

Review: Quaker Overnight Oats – Raisin Walnut & Honey Heaven

Quaker Overnight Oats – Raisin Walnut & Honey Heaven – Cup

I don’t remember learning about Raisin Walnut & Honey Heaven in Sunday school. Is that where young folks who like to eat breakfast like senior citizens go when they die? If so, the whatever higher power is up there can hurry up and smite me, because there’s nothing I secretly love more than eating bowls full of fibrous cereal and grapes that got the shrunken head treatment.

Hey, something’s gotta balance out all the Cinnamon Toast Crunch I eat, um, for science.

Yes, Raisin Walnut & Honey Heaven was my natural first choice when presented with Quaker’s four new Overnight Oat flavors. The little cups of oats, which you’re supposed to pour milk on and refrigerate for 6+ hours before eating (my condolences to the world’s insomniacs), also come in Toasted Coconut & Almond Crunch, Blueberry Banana & Vanilla Bliss, and Orchard Peach Pecan Perfection.

Why each flavor sounds so euphoric and zen, I don’t know, but I do know I’ll now forever picture the Quaker Oat guy’s face on the Buddha’s plumply smiling body. Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted (Germany): Unicorn Froot Loops Cereal

Kellogg's German Unicorn Froot Loops Cereal Review Box

The unicorn virus…it’s spreading.

When the cotton candied Pepto-Bismol known as the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino hit the U.S. earlier this year, kicking off a pink food pandemic that would infect everything from cupcakes to bagels, I thought it would be a purely American phenomenon. After all, it speaks to two of our country’s biggest passions: cryptozoology and colorful sugar.

(I’m still waiting for the Loch Ness Monster Frappuccino. Our underwater ally deserves to be submerged in whipped cream!)

But no, as Kellogg Germany’s new Unicorn Froot Loops prove, the eponymous horned horse has the ability to migrate across seas—despite lacking wings or gills. Maybe it bummed a ride off a pegasus. This limited edition cereal is, predictably, causing a buzz across the internet (and more than just the sugar rush kind), but I wanted to know how it actually tastes. So I sought out the help of the only cereal-loving German I know: Continue reading

Spooned & Spotted (UK): Special K Peach & Apricot Cereal

https://www.instagram.com/p/BW29BO9j0Fi/?taken-by=productsinstore

Peach is one of those cereal tastes we just don’t see enough. Rarer than other fruity flavors like coconut and banana, but more common than some of my nonexistent dream flavors like gingerbread, cheesecake, or zucchini bread (my imagination shoots for the stars), peach has seen just a couple cobbled-together cereals in its history. There have been a couple Honey Bunches varieties and a Quaker Real Medleys variety, but that’s about it.

Oh, and Special K Peach & Apricot, a cereal that appeared in the United Kingdom about 5 years ago and is now gracing shelves once more, thanks to the above journalistic photo kindly shared by Instagram friends @Productsinstore.

This cereal is far simpler than Special K’s recent U.S. debuts, which include clusters and yogurt clusters and whatever other sweet mix-ins it takes to convince Americans to put down the Cookie Crisp for a change. No, Special K Peach & Apricot only includes classic Special K whole wheat and barley flakes with two kinds of dried fruit: peaches and apricots (who would’ve guessed?)

I always like to share international cereal photos when it leaves me drooling half a world away. As someone who will likely never taste an apricot in his cereal bowl without the help of a Trader Joe’s run and a food dehydrator, I’m glad someone out there is getting to chomp on one of the only apricot cereals to ever exist. If you’ve tried it, let me know how it is in the comments.

In the words of Michael Scott: “Apricot. Made of real apes!”