Tag Archives: granola

13

Dec. ’15

Review: Trader Joe’s Cranberry Gingerbread Granola

IMG_4169I love gingerbread. I’m saying it now. I’m saying it in short, staccato sentences. I love gingerbread men. I love gingerbread houses. I love the character of Gingy in the Shrek films. I insist people call me “Gingerbread Dan” around Christmastime. I’d give up an arm and a leg of my own if it meant getting the chance to bite the arms and legs off of a discontinued Kemps Gingerbread Man ice cream sandwich again.

I love their earthy color. I love the blend of spices. I love the molasses. But most of all, I love the sadistic joy of tearing a soft, pliable sugar man limb from tasty limb all in the name of holiday spirit. Please mention that last sentence in my eulogy.

I’ve campaigned for gingerbread flavored cereals before to no avail. So that’s why when I heard about Trader Joe’s new Cranberry Gingerbread Granola, my heart started pumping faster than the Gingerbread Man’s when he’s running away from those who chase him. But will this mix of “whole grain oats with dried cranberries, ginger, and wintry spices” be a winter win? Continue reading →

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14

Nov. ’15

Review: Quaker Real Medleys Granola & Yogurt Blend Strawberry & Almond

IMG_4091*panting*

Sorry, I just need to catch my breath after typing out the name of this sort of new…what do I even call it? Yogurt cup? Granola yogurt? Cardboard receptacle for flavored powder and milk that features the grinning face of a friendly old man?

I’m just gonna call it grano-gurt for short.

But the fact of the matter is, the mass of words and ampersands in the name of this grano-gurt is a testament to just how ridiculously large the number of Quaker products out there is. With so many Quaker oat guy faces in the oatmeal/granola/hot cereal aisle, you’d think it was some weird oatmeal parody of Attack of the Clones. I mean, “Quinoa” sounds like the name of a Star Wars planet anyway.

In fact, the medley of words on this Real Medleys grano-gurt was so confusing, I didn’t even realize until I opened it that it wasn’t oatmeal at all. Regardless, granola is a close enough relative of cereal that I’ll give it a review anyway.

Anything to stop those dead, staring Quaker guy eyes from piercing into my soul.

Continue reading →

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15

Oct. ’15

Review: Trader Joe’s Country Pumpkin Spice Granola Cereal

IMG_3967It’s official.

The month of October will no longer be known as the “Halloween season.” Instead, it will officially be deemed “Trader Joe’s month-long pumpkin-palooza.”

Seriously, walking into a TJ’s this time of year is like being transported into one of your grandma’s autumn tablecloths, with every store orifice (storeifice, for short) being plastered with kitschy graphics of everyone’s favorite vegetable. Or fruit. Whatever the heck your know-it-all cousin insists that it “technically” is.

And while I’ve already discussed Pumpkin O’s cereal, it isn’t the only pumpkin cereal Trader Joe has plucked from his field. So whether or not you consider granola to be an actual cereal (the word is on the box so leave me alone, dang it!), it’s time to give Country Pumpkin Spice Granola its time in the candlelit spotlight. Continue reading →

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