Tag Archives: quaker

Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch Cereal (2015)

I bet you expected me to start this review off with a snarky Christmas pun, right? Well to completely subvert your expectations, allow me to pose you a question:

Do you remember that episode of Yu-Gi-Oh where the villainous Maximillion Pegasus traps Yugi’s grandpa in soulless, unmoving card?

Though I’m sure the majority response to my question will be “Of course not: I have better uses for my brain’s real estate than oddly specific memories of early 2000s children’s cartoons,” this reference is appropriate for reviewing 2015’s rendition of Cap’n Crunch’s annual Christmas Crunch offering.

Why?

Because the gosh darn box refuses to change or have any soul! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cap'n crunch, holiday, quaker. 2 Comments

Dec. ’15

Review: Quaker Real Medleys Steel Cut Apple Pear Pecan Flavor Oatmeal

As the days get shorter, the names of all the Quaker oatmeal products out there keep getting longer. And while I may be about a month late on the “autumnal apple cinnamon” trend, I thought I’d toss out another oatmeal review for all of you out there who want to snuggle up by the fire with a warm bowl of mushy ‘meal.

So allow me to introduce the possibly new (who really knows when these things are new anymore? I think there are more Quaker oatmeal varieties than there are actual Quakers) Quaker Real Medleys Steel Cut Apple Pear Pecan Flavor Oatmeal!

Hey, these are steel cut! And steely is a synonym for cold-blooded! You know what else is cold?

Snow!

There’s the obvious winter connection. Phew, now I’m off the hook for being so late.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 2 rating, non cereal, oatmeal, quaker. 2 Comments

Nov. ’15

Review: Quaker Real Medleys Granola & Yogurt Blend Strawberry & Almond

*panting*

Sorry, I just need to catch my breath after typing out the name of this sort of new…what do I even call it? Yogurt cup? Granola yogurt? Cardboard receptacle for flavored powder and milk that features the grinning face of a friendly old man?

I’m just gonna call it grano-gurt for short.

But the fact of the matter is, the mass of words and ampersands in the name of this grano-gurt is a testament to just how ridiculously large the number of Quaker products out there is. With so many Quaker oat guy faces in the oatmeal/granola/hot cereal aisle, you’d think it was some weird oatmeal parody of Attack of the Clones. I mean, “Quinoa” sounds like the name of a Star Wars planet anyway.

In fact, the medley of words on this Real Medleys grano-gurt was so confusing, I didn’t even realize until I opened it that it wasn’t oatmeal at all. Regardless, granola is a close enough relative of cereal that I’ll give it a review anyway.

Anything to stop those dead, staring Quaker guy eyes from piercing into my soul.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, granola, quaker, strawberry. 2 Comments

Oct. ’15

Review: Quaker Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal

The pumpkin spice virus…it’s spread too far. We thought if anyone would be able to resist its nutmeg-scented temptation, it would be the Quaker Oats guy. But even his luscious white locks couldn’t protect him. The a-pumpk-alypse is upon us.

In reality, the existence of Pumpkin Spice Quaker Oatmeal is no surprise. I think there are more varieties of Quaker oatmeal than there are actual pumpkins (don’t fact check me on that), so it was only a matter of time before pumpkin reared its bulbous head.

This is the first oatmeal we’ve reviewed on this site so far, but hot cereals are cereal too, so they deserve fair representation. We’re all about equality here at Cerealously. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 3 rating, oatmeal, pumpkin, quaker. 5 Comments

Oct. ’15

Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca: King Vitaman, Cinnamon Mini-Buns, & Churros Cereal

Got a lot of work to do this Friday afternoon?

Just looking forward to the weekend?

Either way, we want to make today a little bit better by sharing a few more cereal history lessons from cereal archaeologist Gabe Fonseca, whose Cereal Time YouTube series covers so many wild and colorful cereal that may have faded from your memory as time passed.

First up is King Vitaman cereal, and while it isn’t the crowning achievement of Quaker, this crown-shaped Cap-n Crunch taste-alike has had some royally clever advertising campaigns over the years.

Next up is a cinnamon double feature that covers both Cinnamon Mini-Buns and Churros cereal. Gabe takes viewers on a trip down the long, swirling history of Cinnamon Mini-Buns as it evolved into what we know and love today as Cinnabon cereal.

Likewise, the regional Mini Cinnamon Churros is Post’s attempt to compete with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. You’d be hard-pressed to find a box of it today (it was focused around Mexico), but if you do, you’ll be smacking your cinnamon sugar-coated lips and singing “Churr-oh yeah!” in no time.

If you love Gabe’s videos as much as the rest of us, be sure to watch ’em all! Every Cereal Time video can be found here, and you can check out Gabe’s Twitter, as well.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cereal time, cinnamon, kelloggs, post, quaker. Leave a comment

Oct. ’15

Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Halloween Crunch Cereal (2015)

Does just looking at this cereal box make you green with envy?

Well just wait until you see the milk.

That’s right, boils & ghouls: Cap’n Crunch’s Halloween Crunch has arisen from its annual resting place to haunt your pantry in the absolute best way possible. The base cereal formula is the same as previous years: plain Cap’n Crunch pieces mixed with orange Crunchberry ghosts that are coated in a mystical ectoplasm that turns milk green (this sentence in itself is worth embroidering on a throw pillow).

However, this year’s box art cranks up the spook to a level even Spinal Tap would scoff at. While previous boxes contented themselves with putting the Cap’n on a pumpkin or dressing him up in costume, this year he is literally a zombie! I’m so excited my sentences automatically started italicizing themselves! This is scary! How do I turn this off? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cap'n crunch, halloween, quaker. 1 Comment

Aug. ’15

Review: Cap’n Crunch Caramel Popcorn Crunch Cereal

Amongst the rugged cardboard skyline of my pantry, one smiling cartoon face loomed above the rest. Dwarfing the Froot Loops and Cheerios like a corn-filled Tower of Babel, Cap’n Crunch’s new Caramel Popcorn Crunch is tall. So tall, in fact, that I have to lay the box horizontally just to complete my game of cupboard Tetris.

So if Caramel Popcorn Crunch insists on being so high maintenance, its flavor better be good enough to make up for all the real estate it’s sucking up. With box art evoking a movie theater experience (I like to imagine Cap’n Crunch grinning through the entirety of The Hunt for Red October), this cereal seeks to fill a breakfast flavor void that none of us were really asking for but have suddenly realized that we’ve wanted all along: caramel popcorn. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cap'n crunch, quaker. 1 Comment