As I opened my box of Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch, a frosty symphony played in my head.
Ice cream truck music, the steady drip of melting banana splits, and a chorus of kids groaning at terrible popsicle stick jokes: yes, this was the sound, the smell, and the edible heartbeat of summer itself.
I encourage you all to play this on loop as your read on.
But let me first take you back, because this cereal has a history. The trademark for Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch was filed way back in November of 2015, but it wasn’t discovered until this January by master snack detective Candy Hunting.
This left cereal fans everywhere desperately wondering for months whether the cereal would actually exist, or if it was just a cruel joke by Quaker’s lawyers to get back at society for its millions of lawyer jokes.
We searched and searched for any info on the cereal: a tweet, a grainy snapshot, heck, even a misspelled bit of “Captain Crunch Orange Popsicle” graffiti would suffice.
Thankfully the citrus fates were on our side, as in early June, Orange Cream Pop Crunch hit shelves for real. As of July 25th, it has only been seen at Jewel Osco stores in the Illinois-Indiana-Iowa area, Albertson’s in Las Vegas, ACME stores in Delaware, Market Street in Texas, and Safeway in Seattle.
I’m sure it’ll (quite literally) pop up more places soon, but for now, they might as well have called it “Limited Limited Edition.”
Now on to the orange stuff itself.
I was briefly worried this wouldn’t taste like orange Creamsicles at all, since the ingredients don’t list orange or vanilla anything. I thought the Cap’n might have pulled a Krave and just dribbled in leftover Halloween food coloring.
A whiff and a munch was all it took to restore my faith in humanity—both the real and exaggerated nautical cartoon variety. This isn’t simply an orange colored Cap’n Crunch…
…but it isn’t simply a Cap’n Crunch-shaped orange cereal, either. It’s an orange coated Cap’n Crunch that carries the best of both worlds.
At its base, it’s the Cap’n we know and love, smacking with golden browned coconut oil. It’s got a crunch with an attitude, and it’ll still mess up the roof of your mouth like an accidental jab from a balsa wood popsicle stick.
The coating on every piece makes it, though. It tastes eerily like an orange Creamsicle/Dreamsicle by combining a sweet and juicy bite of orange fruit flavor with a delightfully creamy, yet subtle vanilla finish.
The orange isn’t zesty or sour in any way. Instead, it’s got the pleasantly candied tropical citrus taste you’d expect from an Orange Starburst or a bowl of orange sherbet.
Combined with the toasty and buttery base, Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Cream Pop Crunch is a complex breakfast beast that hungry historians and sogginess scholars will be studying for decades.
Just imagine someone took an orange Creamsicle and served it to you on an edible, sweetly deep fried stick.
But speaking of sogginess, this stuff will never get soggy. That’s because it tastes so good in milk, your bowl will be empty before you can say “fruit punchatize me, Cap’n!”
Adding milk cranks up the vanilla ice cream creaminess, while the orange develops a more syrupy twang, as if a young orange tree burrowed its roots right into the slightly orange tinted end milk.
Of course, I had to test whether popping a bowl in the freezer for 30 minutes would turn it into a genuine, crunchy Creamsicle, and of course, it did! This is the absolute best way to eat Orange Creampop Crunch, but be wary of crippling brain freeze headaches.
Crunchatize me, Aspirin!
There’s nothing bad about this wonderful cereal, except for the shame I felt after gobbling down a fortnight’s worth of it in a night. Even if you don’t like orange, I recommend you give it a shot for a fun twist on the classic Cap’n Crunch formula.
Heck, even the box oozes fun. With a gorgeous teal and orange them that puts even Ecto-Cooler’s color palette to shame and a bunch of fun activities on the back (including a word search that contains “poop” more than once), this one’s going down in history.
And while we’re talking about history: holy throwback! While the recent HomeRun Crunch had a cameo by Quisp the alien, Orange Creampop Crunch features longtime Crunch nemesis Jean LaFoote, Quisp’s forgotten rival Quake, fellow orange cereal mascot Simon (from Quangaroos), and even the most obscure of all: Wilma the Winsome White Whale from 1971’s Vanilly Crunch Cereal!
Well done, Orange Creampop Crunch: you’re a tastebud entertainer and a cereal time machine all in one. Now if you’ll excuse me, my brain is melting for at least three different reasons.
The Bowl: Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch
The Breakdown: It tastes like an ice cream treat, it smells like summer, and it feels like childhood: orange lovers and loathers alike should all scream for this Creampop.
The Bottom Line: 10 Limited Limited Limited Edition cereals out of 10
(Quick Nutrition Facts: 110 calories, <1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein per 3/4 cup serving)
***A huge thanks goes to friend of Cerealously, Pop-Tart news leaker, and redditor /u/boyfoster for sending me this box. It’s because of him that I was able to write this review instead of driving countless hours to Illinois! Thanks again!***