News: Cap’n Crunch’s Freedom Crunch is Coming Soon, for Some Reason

Cap'n Crunch's Freedom Crunch Cereal Box

(Image via Quaker)

(Important Update: Cap’n Crunch himself has alerted me that this is not a real cereal hitting shelves. It was a scrapped concept never meant to be seen online. I’ll leave this post up for history’s sake, but know that you won’t be crunching into a bowl of AmeriCrunch any time soon.)

I’m not here to extrapolate on Cap’n Crunch’s political views—after he saved the Earth’s supply of Crunchium in the Volcanica at the Earth’s molten core, I know he’s a humanitarian, and that’s enough for me.

So here’s my completely non-partisan take on Freedom Crunch, the newest Cap’n Crunch variety, coming soon: it’s red, white, and blue Crunchberries, and that sounds delicious. I would like to eat it, because I believe that it would taste good. For breakfast. With milk.

That is all. Thanks for reading!

In all seriousness, I don’t know why Cap’n Crunch is debuting such a patriotic cereal in a non-major election year, so far from 4th of July. But hey: I guess Quaker had to use the Crunchberry colors they already have, and ‘Merica-themed made more sense than Swirly Toothpaste or Barbershop Pole Crunch.

No word yet on when this cereal is hitting shelves—maybe we won’t see it ’til Independence Day—but until then, I can admire the gorgeously drawn, saluting eagle, and see if I can buy a flagpole small enough to hoist a cardboard box above my kitchen table.

It’s just too bad they didn’t release this two years ago—could have called them “Crunch Barries.”

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6 responses »

  1. Already posted the REAL Story behind them on Instagram:
    Quaker Guy: “Hey we have this amazing new idea and concept for the 4th of July!”
    Quaker CEO: “Sounds awesome! Let’s do it!”
    Couple of month later…
    Another Quaker guy: “Hey! I just discovered this truck load of limited edition cap’n crunch’s… What about them?”
    Everyone: “OH DAMN! Lets just release them for Christmas! Seems still fitting!”
    🙄🙃

    Are those btw just crunch berries or ball shaped and colored “normal” Cap’n Crunchs?

    Cheers!

  2. If I had to guess, this seems fitting for Veteran’s Day and fills the November void for specialty cereals. That is until we get Thanksgiving branded cereals.

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