I have seen the way. The way of the bag.
For the first 99.9% of my life, I was a non-believer at best and a heretic at worst. I turned my precociously large nose up at jumbo bagged cereals like those from Malt-O-Meal, seeing them as bootlegs. Cheap imitations. The cereal equivalents of tofurkey. And to be fair, they often tasted like it, too, with the thick bag imparting a (possibly imagined) plasticly stale aftertaste.
But then I saw the light, through a messiah known as Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch. Recent readers will remember me singing hymns of praise for it just last month, and it’s because of DCBC that I’ve joined the cult of Malt-O-Meal: the Church of the M-O-M, Spoon, and Holy-Crap-That’s-Good, if you will.
So now that I hear Malt-O-Meal (and parent company Post) are releasing Cinnamon Dyno-Bites Cereal and Golden Honey O’s Cereal, I’m more confident that the 2-pound cereal bricks bags will be more than just repackaged Cinnamon Pebbles and Honey Oh’s (which have recently been reformulated to remove graham, much to the chagrin of fans everywhere and reviewers like me who can’t even find the darn stuff).
No, I’m near-certain that some M-O-Mtherly love will be sprinkled in these bags to make them unique, and I can’t wait to try them. For those unfamiliar with their antecedent cereals, Cinnamon Dyno-Bites is cinnamon-flavored micro-rice flakes (meaning they’re a great texturizing mix-in for Cinnamon Toast Crunch), while Golden Honey O’s are oat and corn rings stuffed with rice and honey (meaning they’re delightfully sticky-sweet but can shred your mouth like Cap’n Crunch piloting a 360-degree lawn mower.
If you’re looking for these cereals, they should be at Walmarts already. But if you can’t find them, brush up on the best of M-O-M in the mean time, I recommend mixing Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch with Cookies & Cream and passing out from a sugar crash. These new ones should be out by the time you wake up!