Review: Kellogg’s Wild Berry Froot Loops Cereal

This is a big step for Toucan Sam.

After decades of keeping his proprietary Froot formula under lock and key, he’s finally delving into the world of known flora for flavoring his ambiguously fruity products. Granted, it’s a baby step: the only “Wild Berry” specifically referenced on the box is a raspberry (and even that could be a convincing Swedish Gummy Berry). But that still brings us one step closer to convincing old Toucan Samuel just what exotic, deserted island fruit he uses to make normal Froot Loops.

Because once he opens his beak, the rests of us can cultivate Froot plants at home, and bake Froot Pies, which we all know is what the All-American Apple Pie™ was destined to evolve into.

But before we extend the 4th of July to a two-day holiday to celebrate, let’s humor Toucan Sam by trying his Wild Berry Froot Loops. Will they be an interestingly exotic cousin of the original Loops, or some sort of bizarro evil twin who I’ll have to send back to the wild wild shadow realm with the blunt end of a shovel?

Let’s find out!

First things first: the stars. For some reason the much-boasted star pieces in Wild Berry Froot Loops are only purple, ruining my chances of turning this cereal into early Christmas decorations. Beyond that disappointment, Toucan Sammy’s purpled geometry doesn’t even explode with wild grape flavor. Guess I’ll have to melt some more Popsicle “milk.”

In fact, as with normal Froot Loops, every crunchy piece here tastes the same: like a 70:30 ratio fruit cocktail of raspberry and blueberry. Sure, there might be hints of other berries, like strawberries, blackberries, or an actual BlackBerry (actually, strike that: I think I just took a bite of the plastic bag), but rasp and blue dominate this cereal.

Granted also that these two berry flavors are heavily artificial, with raspberry popping with tart, twisted ribbons of puckering sweetness and blueberry rounding out the equation with a syrupy, yet smooth burst, but they are identifiable all the same.

Unlike whatever mythic green berry the green loops are trying to represent. At least it isn’t avocado.

Ultimately, Wild Berry Froot Loops are like 2/3 of a crunchy Kellogg’s Fruity Snack, and that isn’t necessarily a good thing: eaten dry the sharpness of the raspberry gets old fast, making me yearn for more blueberry or the delightfully homogenous fakeness of normal Froot Loops.

Because trust me, Sam-o, if I’m gonna “follow my nose,” it’s going to lead me to the comfortably therapeutic fruit soup I’m used to.

This all changes when Sam’s Loops (and five-pointed Loops) hit milk. The overbearing bite of the raspberry is tempered by sweet creaminess, while blueberry and some other subtle tropical notes get a chance to shine. The whole thing ends up tasting like a hip smoothie (in solid form). 

Like Jamba Juice meets Saturday Morning meets…Jujubes?

Ultimately, while Wild Berry Froot Loops are pretty good in milk, they make a better one-time purchase than a Cereal of the Year contender, never quite reaching the memorability of other recent innovative cereals, like Pink Donut Shoppe or even Birthday Cake Froot Loops. Instead, this stuff is more like Super Mario Cereal if it grabbed a Super Mushroom and leveled up into something actually pleasant. 

Suddenly, this commercial makes a lot more sense. 


 

The Bowl: Wild Berry Froot Loops Cereal

The Breakdown: Too heavy on the artificial raspberry when dry, these Loops turn upper-adequate in milk, where its more delectable blueberry subtleties get to swim free.

The Bottom Line: 7 overpriced bottles of trendy free-range toucan-gargled Popsicle milk out of 10

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