Leave it to Raisin Bran Crunch to bring two of America’s most contentious summer pie flavors together.
Seriously: apple pie and strawberry pie’s rivalry is the warm weather equivalent of pumpkin vs. pecan, and I bet this bitter—yet so sweet—feud is the reason we don’t see apple and strawberry flavors mix very often. I don’t know what apple did to strawberry to evoke decades of estrangement, but I can only assume it involved a pie to the face. And maybe a few clowns.
But now, thanks to the unifying power of Raisin Bran’s radiant sun, we can finally experience apple and strawberry in tandem without having to sandwich together two slices of Grandma’s Independence Day desserts. Because while it may be delicious, that’s how you end up with a Fourth New Belt Notch of July. Continue reading →
You didn’t think I’d end Thanksgiving week without reviewing something at least tangentially related to Turkey Day, did you?
It’s true: the connection between Grandma’s homemade, Thanksgiving dinner cranberry sauce and Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Granola with Cranberries and Almonds is loose at best, but play along with me here. At least this granola won’t jiggle uncomfortably or come with a side of equally uncomfortable dinner table politics.
I reviewed the honey version of Raisin Bran Granola earlier this year, and I’d like to say I intentionally saved the cranberry kind for this thematically appropriate review, but the truth is that the first variety wasn’t particularly exciting or memorable. It just tasted like hyper-toasted, nearly burnt oats. Let’s see if its fruitier cousin shares a passion for dark meat. Continue reading →
I’ve been on a long quest to review every raisin bran cereal imaginable, a quest so exhaustive that I bran out of “raisin bran” puns months ago.
Wait, guess I had one more in me.
Having travelled far, eaten a lot, and picked many raisins out of tricky tooth crevasses, it’s time for me to return again to raisin bran’s humble origins. Not all the way back—I’ve already reviewed the first raisin bran ever created—but still back to 1942, when Post Raisin Bran debuted in the same year as Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, a simultaneous release that I can only imagine ended in West Side Story-esque rivalries between street gangs loyal to each respective bran brand.
But is Post the Raisin Bran with the most, or does Kellogg’s smiling sun melt away the competition? Time to unsheathe my spoon, ready my dental floss, and find out. Continue reading →
Raisin bran as we know it needs to evolve. Can Nature Valley’s new Raisin Oat Clusters help bring it from its Cro-Magnon hunch to an upright state?
See, bran flakes with raisins is one of cereal’s oldest traditions, dating all the way back to Skinner’s Raisin Bran. But while species of Toast Crunch cereal evolved from swirled squares to full on maple glazed mini bread slices in just over a decade, all raisin bran has done in its 90 years of existence is add oat clusters and maybe a few measly almonds.
Sure, there’s been the occasional innovator, like Raisin Nut Bran with its nut-coated raisins or the unfortunately discontinued Raisin Bran Extra! But by and large, survival of the fittest has been more of a “survival of the fattest, juiciest raisins.”
I demand more. I demand a raisin bran that will blow my mind instead of just my colon. It’s time to find out if Raisin Oat Clusters, one of Nature Valley’s two newest cereals, is up to the task. Continue reading →
If my experiences with Nature Valley’s first three offerings—which all tasted like baked goods for some reason—are to be believed, Raisin Oat Clusters will taste like a cinnamon raisin bagel, while Chocolate Oat Bites will be like miniature chocolate doughnut flavored Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
Yep, I’m gonna start surfing Craigslist now for bulk deals on larger sized pants. Maybe I’ll pick up a sketchy old mattress and a bag of soggy fireworks while I’m there, too.
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I’m glad Raisin Bran Granola is here to keep me moving. No, not that kind of moving, though it does boast 24% of my daily recommended fiber per serving.
No, I mean moving moving. While I may look like a hip and spry youngster, as soon as I pour my morning bowl of Raisin Bran cereal and cup of coffee, I become about as old and slow as Benjamin Button was at my age.
Like a grandpa with his newspaper, I ponder every raisin like there’s a Nietszche quote written in its wrinkles.
But now that Kellogg’s has debuted two flavors of Raisin Bran Granola (this one and Cranberry Almond) in convenient on-the-go pouches, I feel obligated to leave my cereal bowl behind, go climb mountains, and gaze into abysses that will gaze also into me.
(UPDATE: My review of Raisin Bran Raisin & Honey Granola can be found here!)
Oh say can you Krispie?
In a new product announcement this week, Kellogg’s provided a sneak peek at three upcoming breakfast foodstuffs of particular interest to this blog.
First is the above pair of Raisin Bran granola flavors. Sure, Raisin Bran Crunch may already have succulent honey granola clusters, but now we get a whole bag of them. Although the granolas will apparently include puffed rice and crispy bran flakes, too, I like to imagine a far off factory where existing Raisin Bran Crunch has its raisin and granola filtered out, leaving behind mounds of unwanted bran flakes that are ultimately used as housing for displaced woodland creatures.
The other, Cranberry Almond, appears to play off the dubious success of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries cereal. While this is all well and good for bran ‘n’ cran fans, I personally wish we’d get the return of my long lost Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran instead.
Image via Kellogg
The next announce product was Red & Blue Rice Krispies. Nothing revolutionary flavor-wise, but the bizarre box art of Snap, Crackle, and Pop in full Independence Day gear is compelling enough to make me want it.
From Snap, who looks like your NASCAR-obsessed uncle, to Crackle, who is showing much more arm than usual, all the way to Pop and his gravity-defying hat, this box art belongs in a post-modern art gallery with some pretentious name like “Americana Marshmallow-topia.”
Image via Kellogg
Finally, we have the return of two new “Soda-Mazing” Pop-Tarts we already knew about. A&W Root Beer and Orange Crush promise plenty of classic soda flavor in sugary goo stuffed rectangular pastries. Since these flavors are so exciting, I’m willing to forgive Kellogg’s for not using the real term for the drinks. “Pop Pop-Tarts” has a much better ring to it, and for all doubting the legitimacy my midwestern slang, I ask you this question: they’re not called Snap, Crackle, and Soda, are they?
No word on exact release dates for any of these products, but feel free to discuss which ones you’re excited about in the comments below.
Raisin bran cereals are the oatmeal raisin cookies of the cereal world.
Now I’m not just talking about the ingredients, because that’s certainly not a hard comparison to make. What I mean is that raisin bran cereals are the breakfast aisle underdogs. Just like how oatmeal raisin is so often overshadowed by chocolate chip—its suave, popular older brother—raisin bran has had its spotlight unfairly stolen by, well, every other cereal ever.
It must be the word “bran” that naturally turns people off. And for that reason, I recommend that all raisin bran cereals change their name to something cooler, like “Raisin Bandoliers,” “Raisin Bandits,” or even “Raisin Badasses.”
While we wait for this mass raisin bran rebranding to occur, I thought I’d review another existing raisin bran variety to help inform all my fellow defenders of raisin bran and oatmeal raisin cookies. Today’s raisin badass bran? An old school classic: Skinner’s Raisin Bran. Continue reading →
