Author Archives: dan g.

News: Limited Edition Pumpkin Puffins Cereal from Barbara’s to Hit Shelves

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(Image via Barbara’s official Twitter feed)

Are you “pump”ed for Fall? Well thanks to Barbara’s Puffins cereal line, now you have another reason to be!

Though the dog days of summer are still steadily barking, Barbara’s has just announced that they are releasing a pumpkin-flavored variant of their delightful Puffins cereal. But look out, pumpkin spice latte lovers, because Pumpkin Puffins are bringing the real deal. According to Barbara’s website, they will be “made with real pumpkin and only 5g of sugar.”

It’s too soon to say how the inclusion of actual pumpkin will affect the cereal’s taste. But since I’m a massive puffin puffan, as well as a fan of harvest vegetables in general, I can’t wait to give these a try. Perhaps in a makeshift bowl that I’ve made from a hollowed-out gourd.

For those unfamiliar with Puffins, they are “crunchy oat and corn pillows” that come in flavors like peanut butter, cinnamon, honey rice, and more. Barbara’s also produces several other cereal lines, including Snackimals and Morning Oat Crunch, to name just a couple.

The cereal will be available for a limited time only this Fall. It’s unknown yet what stores will carry Pumpkin Puffins, but they are already available to order on Barbara’s online store. Pumpkin Puffins will join the rare pantheon of pumpkin cereals, which now also includes the elusive Pumpkin Spice Mini-Wheats and Trader Joe’s Pumpkin O’s (which have yet to be confirmed for this year).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to test the milk retention capabilities of hollowed-out gourds.

Review: Frosted Blue Raspberry Pop-Tarts

IMG_3760Lower your pitchforks, everyone!

I know: these new Frosted Blue Raspberry Pop-Tarts aren’t cereal! This is heresy! I should be impeached as editor-in-chief of this site and replaced with a candidate who uses fewer parentheses and unnecessary similes (I use as many parentheses as a mathematician doodling emoticons on his master’s thesis)!

But just hear me out. I’ve previously mentioned my love of Pop-Tarts, and I still stand by it. The way I see it, no other snack better embodies the spirit of cereal quite like Pop-Tarts. They have shiny wrappers that make you giddy just looking at them. Their neon frosting and filling aren’t trying to hide for one second the fact that they’re crammed with enough delicious sugar to make an elephant twitch. And best of all, their addictive flavor practically begs you to mow through a stack of them while marathoning re-runs of Full House.

So if the Pope can be an honorary Harlem Globetrotter, Pop-Tarts can be an honorary breakfast cereal. And hey: maybe they’ll even go all the way again someday. Continue reading

Review: Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch Cereal

IMG_3724Think, Dan. Think.

Think about armed guards. Think about snowy fortresses. Think about architectural impossibilities that couldn’t be understood even by the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page. Okay, it’s no use: I give up.

That was my honest attempt at trying to protect my thoughts from being tampered with again. Like what’s-his-face-who-isn’t-Leo in Inception, I have reason to believe that someone can read my subconscious. And that someone works at General Mills.

See, this review is for the Big G’s intriguing Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch. As I poured my bowl for review purposes and took the inaugural spoonful, I quickly realized that I had eaten a cereal like this before. But this was no cereal you would find on store shelves. No, this cereal—whose doppelgänger I held before me—was a product of my own ideation. Continue reading

News: Count Chocula Beer is “Reanimated” with Help from General Mills

B0LATrYIEAA-TlkI vant to drink your beer!

Was that a Dracula impression, or an impression of someone who has polished off one two many cereal-themed alcoholic beverages?

Straight off of the news of General Mills and Fulton’s Wheaties-themed beer, the Big G is now making sure everyone has a hop-py Halloween, too. Last autumn, Colorado-based Black Bottle Brewery was in the news for slowly bleeding out their hometown’s supply of Count Chocula cereal for use in a Count Chocula-themed beer.

But this year, residents of Fort Collins—Black Bottle Brewery’s base of operations—no longer need to fear that caped hoarders will sneak into supermarkets during the dead of night and suck the cereal aisle dry of its cocoa-marshmallow lifeblood. That’s because, according to the Coloradoan, General Mills has so kindly supplied the brewers with boxes of the Count to use.

The Count’s flavor will be available on tap again at Black Bottle Brewery starting on August 25th. The Count Chocula beer is part of Black Bottle Brewery’s larger line of cereal brews that they have dubbed “Cerealiously.”

Wait, am I reading that right? Something about that name seems…strangely familiar.

So what does the Big G have in store next for cereal+beer tie-ins? One can only guess.

Honey Nut Beer-ios, perhaps?

Review: Cap’n Crunch Caramel Popcorn Crunch Cereal

IMG_3711Amongst the rugged cardboard skyline of my pantry, one smiling cartoon face loomed above the rest. Dwarfing the Froot Loops and Cheerios like a corn-filled Tower of Babel, Cap’n Crunch’s new Caramel Popcorn Crunch is tall. So tall, in fact, that I have to lay the box horizontally just to complete my game of cupboard Tetris.

So if Caramel Popcorn Crunch insists on being so high maintenance, its flavor better be good enough to make up for all the real estate it’s sucking up. With box art evoking a movie theater experience (I like to imagine Cap’n Crunch grinning through the entirety of The Hunt for Red October), this cereal seeks to fill a breakfast flavor void that none of us were really asking for but have suddenly realized that we’ve wanted all along: caramel popcorn. Continue reading

Special: Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca — Hidden Treasures Cereal

If you’re looking for a nostalgic way to pass the afternoon (or at least a part of it), then point your eyeballs at the latest in breakfast virtuoso Gabe Fonseca’s YouTube series Cereal Time. Amongst a sea of cat videos, old Chocolate Rain parodies, and long-forgotten Harlem Shake compilations, the Cereal Time series is a real hidden treasure.

And speaking of hidden treasures (call me Paul Blart, because that was one clean “segue”), Gabe’s newest video discusses the much beloved Hidden Treasures cereal.

Appearing in 1993 and disappearing in 1995, Hidden Treasures proved that the good sometimes do die young. But there’s no need to cry; we’re sure H.T. the Robot, mascot for Hidden Treasures, is chilling in a milk-filled Jacuzzi with Sprinkle Genie in the cereal afterlife.

Perhaps General Mills will someday pull a French Toast Crunch and rerelease Hidden Treasures, but for now, the best we can do is try and relive the unique sense of surprise afforded by the cereal. If you live in the U.K., perhaps you can try your hand at the 4-part chocolate gamble of Krave Choco Roulette.

Otherwise, step right up, step right up and create a bowl of Cerealously’s Mini-Wheats Roulette, a cereal dreamt up after 5 minutes of lazy ideation!

Just pour a bowl of:

1/8 Frosted Mini-Wheats Touch of Fruit Raspberry

1/8 Frosted Mini-Wheats Touch of Fruit Raisin

6/8 Frosted Mini-Wheats (Original)

Will your bite be filled with a burst of fruit flavor? Will it just be a crunchy, wheat-y stack? The anticipation must be killing you!

Okay, so maybe this isn’t that close to Hidden Treasures, but hey: we tried! As usual, be sure to check out the rest of the Cereal Time series, and check Gabe out on Twitter.

News: Wheaties Teams Up with Brewers to Make Wheaties Beer

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(Image via General Mills)

Look out, cereal warriors, because General Mills and Minneapolis brewing company Fulton are bringing a whole new meaning to “breakfast of champions.”

That’s right, the fortified flakes known for their athlete-depicting, Nickelodeon orange-colored boxes (clearly I am not an athlete after that adjective) are partnering with their fellow Minnesota natives to launch HefeWheaties, a wheat beer with a design and taste inspired by Wheaties.

Just don’t use it to replace milk on your morning cereal. (Or do: we’d love to hear how it goes!) Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s Origins Ancient Grains Blend Touch of Honey Cereal

IMG_4638Hey Brendan Fraser, are you listening? Because boy, have I got a role for you!

At least that was my first thought after reading the long-winded name of Kellogg’s Origins Ancient Grains Blend Touch of Honey. Something about it makes it feel like the title of a lost sequel in The Mummy franchise, in which an unsuspecting archaeologist investigates the mysterious origins of an ancient people made entirely of anthropomorphized grain.

But there’s no bandaged mascots or occult monsters to be found here (sorry, Yummy Mummy fans!): just a cereal chock-full of earthy, grainy flavor. Oh, and honey. But just a touch of it. Continue reading