*Raises right hand*

I, Dan G. of Cerealously, formally swear to make it through this entire post without making any juvenile “nuts” jokes.

Okay, now that we’ve finished all the formalities, let’s put our honey where our mouth is. It’s that time again: time to share the latest two videos in cereal honcho Gabe Fonseca’s YouTube series. Cereal Time covers a different cereal each week, and each episode is sure to teach you more than your middle school American History class ever did.

The first episode we’d like to share with you covers Kellogg’s Nut & Honey Crunch cereal. Despite the simplicity of its name and ingredients, you’d be surprised just how complicated this cereal’s history is.

With its golden and sticky nut-coated flakes, Nut & Honey Crunch has seen several name changes since its 1979 debut. In fact, the cereal still exists today as an underrated gem of a cereal called Crunchy Nut. I absolutely love Crunchy Nut—the crackling peanut chunks embedded on every piece is like eating a crunchy flake covered in a hundred more crunchy flakes—and to this day I still adore the cereal’s superhero mascot.

I’d pay good Pay-per-view prices to see that guy get in a fight with Man of Popsicle. But all superheroes aside, I’d love to get a fleshed-out backstory from this guy, spotted in Gabe’s video:

I have so many questions. Why is he drenching himself in honey? Is that how Nut & Honey Crunch flakes prepare for hot dates? Who would ever manufacture a honey pitcher that small? How many peanut boogers can fit in a nose that size? The world may never know.

Gabe’s second video covers a cereal with a much more recognizable mascot: it’s Cröonchy Stars, from Post Foods and the Muppets’ Swedish Chef! Go ahead, say “Cröonchy Stars” out loud a couple more times. It’s addicting.

In addition to delicious, cinnamon-flavored stars, each box of Cröonchy Stars is decked out with hilarious cereal meta jokes. I wish my boxes of Cap’n Crunch came with “eating instructions:” maybe then I could avoid severe roof-of-mouth trauma.

Gabe’s video on Cröonchy Stars is worth watching alone for the retro commercial snippet, which features the Swedish Chef battling a giant doughy cinnamon star in an impromptu kitchen spoon sword fight. I know that sounds like an excerpt from a post-Nyquil dream journal, but it’s real. And it’s spectacular.

Gabe’s video ends with a question: who’s your favorite Muppet? As for me, it’s gotta be Cookie Monster. Even though Cookie Monster has had his own cereal, I’ve been waiting my whole life for a Cookie Monster/Cookie Crisp tie-in cereal.

But if we’re only strictly counting Muppets muppets, I pick the obscure ’80s Robot, only because I’m a weirdly dedicated fan of Nintendo’s R.O.B., who could be ’80s Robot’s twin.

Feel free to discuss your favorite Muppets and obscure robot toys below. If you want to see more videos that Gabe has starred in, every Cereal Time episode can be found here, and you can check out Gabe’s Twitter, as well.