(Image via Kellogg’s and FoodBusinessNews)

(UPDATE: We reviewed Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts! We also reviewed Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts!)

Move over, Pumpkin Spice Latte: there’re two new coffee-flavored treats coming in 2017…and neither of them are in beverage form.

Kellogg’s—continuing their apparent quest to turn every liquid imaginable into a frosted rectangular sugar pocket filled with dough and goo—is set to debut two new toaster pastry varieties based on Dunkin’ Donuts drinks: Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts and Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts. As you probably expected, the amazingly resourceful Candy Hunting broke the news, and I’m just here spreading the word like the more-crushed Pop-Tart in a foil-wrapped package of two. Seriously, go follow Candy Hunting and send her regards that are warmer than a Starbucks coffee.

Above is the only known photo of the elusive Tarts, and it’s unfortunately smaller than a Pop-Tarts Go-Tart. Because of this pixelation, it’s hard to hypothesize much about these Pop-Tarts—we can’t even tell if their graininess is whole grain! Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts appear to have a cinnamon or almond-esque frosting (though it’s likely just darker vanilla) and what I can only hope is a steamed milk swirl (though it’s likely just vanilla cream, or worse: plain sugar). Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts, meanwhile, have a very frothy coating over a decadently dark brown base. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect dark chocolate, espresso, or dark roast coffee flavors—let alone a twinge of bittersweetness—but I will say that would make for the sexiest Pop-Tart ever.

I’m talking, “a candlelit pasta dinner cooked just for me and this Pop-Tart” levels of Pop-Tart romanticism.

Most importantly, we don’t whether these Dunkin’ Donuts Pop-Tarts are actually caffeinated, but I guess with all that sugar, getting any more energy from a Pop-Tart might leave my hands too shaky to hold a spaghetti-filled fork. Either way, I plan to do with these new Pop-Tarts the same thing I do with every coffee beverage: make it really hot and consume it so fast that I burn my tongue and regret all of my life choices.