Coming Soon: Reese’s Puffs Peanut Butter Bats!

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It’s the Reese’s. They’re…they’re learning.

Elon Musk may fear humanity’s demise at the hand’s of a hostile AI, but I think we should be more afraid of Reese’s. More and more, their chocolate peanut butter legion is beginning to spread like a delicious zombie virus.

See, we started with the humble Reese’s Cup—that’s fine. Heck, it’s darn fine. But before long, strange mutations happened. Reese’s Eggs. Reese’s Trees. Reese’s Footballs. Odd offshoots of the original’s malleable shell and oiled peanut butter that produced shapes far stronger in flavor than their predecessors.

And then things went Nutrageous, with Reese’s Pieces stuffed in mini cups, crunchy cookies, and even a cereal. But now Reese’s Puffs is undergoing shape mutations of its own: first we saw Reese’s Puffs Bunnies, and now the CDC (Center for Deliciousness Control) has confirmed via @markie_devo that Bats are on the way for Halloweentime, too.

How long before they start stuffing Reese’s Pieces in our breakfast, too?

All peanut buttered apocalypses aside, I’m excited to see if these redistribute the cereal’s powdered flavor like the Bunnies did. And now that I think about it, I should stockpile some of those crunchy rabbits now, so I can genetically splice them with the Bats come October.

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

3 responses »

  1. General Mills trying to distract us from the fact they will undoubtedly still offer disgusting imitations of the Monster Cereals’ former glory.

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