Ugh, every year they just keep moving it up, huh? I mean, the squirrel-munched remnants of Halloween are only just starting to mushify on our nation’s porches, yet their noble decomposition is already being overshadowed by all this jolly merriment. It’s really the ultimate disrespect to Thanksgiving, if you ask me, to see its stuffing of legends snubbed in favor of the feasting to come.
The break-feasting, that is.
Oh, sorry, did you think I was talking about the Christmas creep? Oh (ho ho), no: I’m referring to a different phenomenon I’m dubbing the Cereal…uh, squirm? See, January is the hottest month of the year for new cereal news, and usually the industry’s big-name breakfasters at least wait until late November to tease their New Year’s Resolution busters. But it seems General Mills just couldn’t wait to spill the beans, oats, and marbits, because their January lineup was announced just today. In fact, you might even be able to find them in the nebulously unnamed “select stores” this very month.
And folks, this munchable menagerie’s a good’n. Let’s take a look (long before we can take a bite).
First up is Lucky Charms S’Mores, and while this sure sounds like an awesome cereal concept, I’m convinced it’ll be dead on arrival. Or at least, it won’t be able to live up to its full potential.
Put simply, this is essentially a Golden Grahams x Chocolate Lucky Charms mashup, and Chocolate Lucky Charms are an affront to the Celtic Gods. Unlike normal, oat-based Lucky Charms, Choco Charms inexplicably use corn ingredients, removing all the dense, warm, and earthy goodness that makes Lucky Charms, well, Lucky Charms. As far as I’m concerned, this’ll be absolutely no better nor worse than Post’s Honey Maid S’Mores Cereal.
On the other spoon-clutching hand, we have what could very well be a serious Cereal of the Year contender. You may think that’s a bold prediction based on box art alone, but the Cheerios Oat Crunch line literally never misses. Something about the combo of Cheerios and toasted oats makes for the perfect vehicle for any taste, and while a fruit flavor is a bit of a pivot for the line that typically focuses on warm ‘n’ brown sugary profiles, but I have no doubt the transition will be both seamless and endlessly craveable.
Now this one is a blast from the past. Two and a half years ago, IHOP tweeted about a “Panflakes” cereal they were apparently working on. But with no details and absolutely no further mention of the stuff, this tweet was ultimately disregarded as either a joke or an idea that got scrapped somewhere along the line.
But now General Mills is bringing that breakfast-on-breakfast dream to life with Blueberry & Syrup IHOP Mini Pancake Cereal. Finally, waffles and French toast won’t be the only maple’d classics getting cerealized (even if this looks a bit like a Cookie Crisp clone).
Um. There’s a Hot Wheels Cereal. Out of all the new General Mills cereals, this is certainly going to be one of them.
And then we have a trio of minaturized General Mills classics—very curious to taste how this one turns out. With greater per-piece surface area, these will probably be more potently flavorful than their full-sized counterparts, but they’ll also face decreased sog tolerance as a tradeoff. However, if the hedonistic appeal of soggy Fruity Pebbles are any indication, that might not be such a bad thing.
And then there’s this new Fruity flavor of Wonderworks Keto Cereal, and the less I say about it, the better. I get that there’s an audience for keto cereals out there, but as someone who runs a carb-worshipping blog that’s completely antithetical to the keto credo, I simply do not feel qualified to review any new keto cereals—because if I do, I’m going to be honest about how bad they taste (to me), and that honesty often tends to a draw a lot of negative comments from keto evangelists who have trouble grasping the concept of a personal opinion.
So there you have it: eight new General Mills cereals hitting stores in January (or this month, if you can solve the Leprechaun’s riddles three and discover what “select stores” even means). Which ones are you most excited for?
All we want is prizes back in the box!! Please with pink sugar. (I have full confidence in my generation that grew up on 80’s cereal breakfasts that we can bring this back, just hoping my own children aren’t too old when they do)
Also I forgot King’s (Kellogg’s) had a Hot Wheels cereal
Ralston had a Hot Wheels cereal back in 1991. It was a oat based wheel shaped cereal with marshmallows and had a hot wheels car in the box
Cheerios Oat Crunch is a favorite in any flavor, pretty pumped for the Berry to drop.
If that Cheerios oat crunch “berry” is 516g please remove the “family size” from that box before production. This family size bullcrap is nothing but lies. I can eat 3-4 large bowls from a box. No family can survive off this box sufficiently. False advertising!!!
I think it’s cool for the kiddos. These new cereals are exciting!
I am hoping you will bring back Team Cheerios. That would make my day. Thank you.
OMG YES!! My friends and I ate that out of mixing bowls! thx for the quick flashback
Mini cereals sounds great, it’s gonna be cheaper than regular cereals..because the other cereals are very expensive, one box is around $4.99 and that’s a small box too and I been getting the off brand cereals because the popular brands are very expensive and that’s not right!! I love my cereals every mornings!!
Meanwhile all the celiac children, and cereal loving adults with celiac, have to longingly look at even more cereal they cannot eat. Cereal is one thing I miss the most. Stupid celiac.
That sucks, sorry Amber 🙁 I hope you find something GF you can enjoy!
The IHOP cereal looks like another Cookie Crisp retread in the tradition of Sprinkles Cookie Crisp, Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp, and Dunkaroos.
Can we talk about the worthless twitter human beings going after general mills for pausing advertising on said platform?
Definitely looks like a mixed bag, but I think it leans further toward the good side. Despite another swing at the quarterly “Bland corn ring and thematically dubious marshmallow” cereal and the similarly lackluster “mix two existing cereals together and rebrand it,” the line up seems like it could be pretty fun and hopefully tasty. As a proud and humble resident of Sog City, I’m excited to try a soaking bowl of minis in all my GM favorites.
band name, i call it!
“Bland corn ring and thematically dubious marshmallow”
I guess the creativity is running out. I want to see new flavors and not the same cereal in smaller shapes. Nonetheless, I am looking forward to the blueberry pancake IHOP cereal, and I am especially curious with how closely it will resemble Blueberry Pancake Crunch.
“…that honesty often tends to a draw a lot of negative comments from keto evangelists who have trouble grasping the concept of a personal opinion.”
Laughed out loud at this because it’s oh-so true. I’ve made it a point to not mention how much I detest keto cereals because it brings out the mob and their pitchforks.
Hi Gabe!!
I LOVE your youtube channel!! I have not seen you do a review on Kelloggs Krumbles which were around from 1912-1972–60 years!! Many bloggers on Mr Breakfast have said they would GLADLY buy it if Kelloggs would resurrect it but to no avail. To get the flavor of Krumbles, in bowl,1/2 cup Wheat Chex,1/4 c All Bran and 1/8 c grape nuts. Otherwise,Krumbles just a 60 year old memory.
Anyhow, sorry Dan, I was excited about Lucky Charms Smores UNTIL you said the cereal pieces r made with corn flour –not oat flour like Cheerios or Lucky Charms. I was thinking this will taste like old school Count Chocula–not to be. I will pass on buying it. Thanks guys!!! Chatty
The minis look like a lot of fun. And blueberry pancakes looks like a win to me. Hopefully the box will include a coupon for free actual pancakes.
As for the Hot Wheels cereal, I like how they barely even try with these licensed things anymore. “Fruity” flavored corn-based rings. Yippee!
If Hot Wheels doesn’t give you a free toy, what are they even doing