While I’m slightly disappointed in General Mills for retreading the same emerald-dyed waters for the upteenth time in Lucky Charms’ history, the cereal maker’s latest trip ’round the rainbow poses a curious question surrounding the deeper lore of the Charmiverse:
Is Lucky’s fear of children stealing his Charms just a false flag so no one goes after his moolah?
Sure, the in-world Charms are perhaps more valuable than loot or minted Loops—as they possess the same reality-warping power as Chaos Emeralds—but when it comes to cold hard cash? Lucky’s gotta be loaded if he was able to travel the cosmos and harvest each arcane artifact for his own kid-averse shenanigans.
So even though the brand-proclaimed star of 2020’s St. Paddy’s Day Lucky Charms is the “new” gold coin marshmallow (which in reality isn’t new), the buried lede in my opinion is this claim: “To celebrate Lucky the Leprechaun’s birthday (St. Patrick’s Day, of course!), fans have the chance to find Lucky’s Gold on select boxes of cereal!”
Hold up now, full stop. If we’re to believe that Lucky was born on St. Patrick’s Day, why isn’t it mentioned in this commercial? In fact, why would Lucky even think there’s reason to forget his birthday? I don’t mean to be the wolf who cried plot hole, but c’mon. Talk about crocodile tears.
Oh, right. The gold thing. Despite this implication of a chance at big prizes inside every box, I can’t garner any of the details from this box art alone. Coupled with General Mills’ promise that Leprechaun Traps will return to the back of the boxes, I remain uncertain of whether there are actually riches worth seeking—let alone the rich microwavable birthday cake seen in the above spot.
Whatever the mythos of this mythical fellow, Lucky’s St. Patrick’s Day Charms will be hitting shelves soon (two months early, of course) in both regular and chocolate varieties. Should you be fortunate enough to find a doubloon or just some Yukon Golds in your box, I simply ask that you mail me a Chaos Emerald as a token of gratitude. Dragon Balls will work too.
So if you get all 7, what cereal is ol’ Shenron whipping up for you? Bringing back a beloved Orange Cream Pop from the Other World or cooking up something from your dreams like Gingerbread Toast Crunch? Surely you wouldn’t use all all 3 on cereal 😉
I knew they wouldn’t make the chocolate version oats again. I closely inspected the box in this pic anyway…
General Mills is so cheap, they changed the Monsters from oats to all corn in 1992 at the same time they discontinued Fruity Yummy Mummy and ruined the cereal line forever to save $.
They also did the same thing when they acquired Cookie Crisp from Ralston but thankfully Post offers Chips Ahoy cereal which is just like the original. Would be interesting to know if the idiot who made these decisions is still working @ General Mills. Still, strange they didn’t make Chocolate Lucky Charms with oats considering how strong the brand is. Cheap bastards!