03

Feb. ’16

Review: Nature Valley Baked Oat Bites Cereal

IMG_4268Why buy G.I. Joe when you can buy G.I. Joe With KUNG-FU Grip? Why watch Blade Runner when you can watch Blade Runner: The Final Cut with the original, full-length unicorn daydream sequence?

And why in the name of all that is good and crunchy would you ever eat regular Oreos when Double Stuf Oreos exist?

Such questions haunted me as I gazed upon Baked Oat Bites, one of three new cereals from Nature Valley. It looks just like Kellogg’s Cracklin’ Oat Bran…but with an additional sugary drizzle.

But I gave Cracklin’ Oat Bran a 10/10, so there lies my conundrum. Is it possible for a new cereal to improve upon perfection, or should the mathematical impossibility of “giving 110%” be left for cheesy sports movies?

It’s time for me to find out. Even if I have to punch a few more holes in my belt to do so. With 210 calories per 3/4 cup, that shouldn’t be hard to do.

Continue reading →

Posted by . Categories: Reviews. Tags: , , . 27 Comments

01

Feb. ’16

Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca: Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs and Ice Cream Cones Cereal

Do you need a smile or an ice cream cone to get you through today’s dreaded series of 24 grueling hours (a.k.a. Monday)? Well all of my fellow human Garfields out there need not despair, because thanks to the latest two videos in cereal MVP Gabe Fonseca’s YouTube series, you can see a whole bowl full of ’em!

Cereal Time is a video series dedicated to highlighting a different classic, new, or retro cereal each week. For a series that has given me countless chuckles and snickers, it seems appropriate that the first video we’d like to share with you is all about Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs cereal. Continue reading →

Posted by . Categories: Specials. Tags: , , . 4 Comments

30

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Blueberry with Vanilla Drizzle Mini-Wheats Harvest Delights

IMG_4262Last episode on: “Cerealously’s Milk-Soaked Adventures in Breakfast World”

Dan was not thrilled with Mini-Wheats Cranberry Harvest Delights. When the Mini-Wheats attacked, Dan attempted to coax some sense of goodness out of the cough syrupy cranberry purée buried deep into each  tumbleweed of a biscuit. But their mere kiss of yogurt flavor was not enough.

As a result, Dan was ready to kiss the Harvest Delights brand goodbye, until an impartial jury of Internet commenters convinced him to give the Blueberry Vanilla variety a try. Apprehensive, hungry, and—for some reason—a little sweaty, Dan conceded.

We now join our cereal hero (we only call him a hero because he likes hero sandwiches), already locked into a stare down with a box of Mini-Wheats Blueberry Vanilla Harvest Delights.

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28

Jan. ’16

Review: Post Gluten Free Chocolate Honey Bunches of Oats (2016)

IMG_4256♫ Reunited, and it feeeels so gooood! ♫

These 6 words looped in my head approximately 1 gorillion (an enormous, gorilla-sized number, for the unaware) times as I finally managed to lay my quivering hands on a box of Chocolate Honey Bunches in the year 2016.

Those who have been following the blog should be familiar with my love for Honey Bunches of Oats with Chocolate Clusters, a cereal that was discontinued some 6 years ago in a decision by Post Foods that I’m still convinced was somehow a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

I won’t bore you with the details, but Chocolate Honey Bunches were a pivotal part of my personal cereal mythology back in their heyday. Let’s just say that without Honey Bunches of Oats with Chocolate Clusters, this site probably wouldn’t exist today.

But now, I no longer need to cry forlorn tears over faded Polaroids of the cereal, because it’s back. Does it live up to my own super high standards? I’m willing to undergo a sugar high to find out. Continue reading →

Posted by . Categories: Uncategorized. Tags: , , . 8 Comments

27

Jan. ’16

News: General Mills Chooses Its Honorary “Real Trix Rabbit”

Say it with us now: “Aww!”

That’s right, if you recall about 3 months ago, General Mills came up with a not-so-harebrained scheme to crowdsource a new Trix Rabbit. Cereal lovers everywhere were invited to send in picks of their aspiring little bunnies—bunnies who were hungrier for fame than they were carrots.

And now the winner has been crowned. His name is Cinnabun, and he beat out 7,600 other rabbits to take the title. This floppy-eared cutie was rewarded with a celebration at his local Texas Kroger and a limited batch of cereal boxes bearing his adorable likeness.

This batch of boxes was apparently just for the event, though, so for those hoping to see Cinnabun in their cereal aisle: we’re sorry. And for those hoping we’d get a limited edition cinnamon bun-flavored Trix cereal: we’re really sorry (eat some Cinnabon cereal to fill the void). But for those just hoping to see a cute picture of a rabbit: you’re welcome.

Now say this one with us: “Silly Cinnabun, Trix are for kids!”

Posted by . Categories: News. Tags: , . 2 Comments

26

Jan. ’16

Review: Kashi GoLean Clusters Vanilla Pepita

IMG_4252Forget everything Schoolhouse Rock taught you: knowledge clearly isn’t power…plants are! And bills don’t spend their time anthropomorphically singing on the steps of the Capital Building, either, but that’s a misconception for another time.

Alright, I probably shouldn’t mock knowledge. After all, I am in college so that I can be learnin’ me them knowledges. But with all the different powerful plants in Vanilla Pepita—the newest gluten free cereal from Kashi—I can fill any gaps in my education with pepitas, red beans, pea crisps, and sorghum.

Hear that, professor? Who needs degrees when you can have peas?

Continue reading →

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24

Jan. ’16

Review: Skinner’s Raisin Bran from Uncle Sam

IMG_0340Raisin bran cereals are the oatmeal raisin cookies of the cereal world.

Now I’m not just talking about the ingredients, because that’s certainly not a hard comparison to make. What I mean is that raisin bran cereals are the breakfast aisle underdogs. Just like how oatmeal raisin is so often overshadowed by chocolate chip—its suave, popular older brother—raisin bran has had its spotlight unfairly stolen by, well, every other cereal ever.

It must be the word “bran” that naturally turns people off. And for that reason, I recommend that all raisin bran cereals change their name to something cooler, like “Raisin Bandoliers,” “Raisin Bandits,” or even “Raisin Badasses.”

While we wait for this mass raisin bran rebranding to occur, I thought I’d review another existing raisin bran variety to help inform all my fellow defenders of raisin bran and oatmeal raisin cookies. Today’s raisin badass bran? An old school classic: Skinner’s Raisin Bran. Continue reading →

Posted by . Categories: Reviews. Tags: , , . 5 Comments

23

Jan. ’16

News: Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch Coming Soon?

IMG_0646 (1) copy

(UPDATE 6/8: Orange Creampop Crunch is real, and we reviewed it!)

We’ve had Peanut Butter Crunch. We’ve munched a baker’s dozen bowls of Sprinkled Donut Crunch. Heck, we’ve even consumed an XL, family-sized movie theater tub of Caramel Popcorn Crunch. If Cap’n Crunch has endorsed it, we’ve eaten it.

So what will the Cap’n debut next to bring forth a tidal wave of drool from the hungry whirlpools of our faces? Well, to paraphrase Man of Popsicle, “If it’s Popsicle, it might be possible.”

As some internet sleuths have uncovered, back on November 5th of last year, Quaker filed a trademark application for CAP’N CRUNCH’S ORANGE CREAMPOP CRUNCH. Maybe Cap’n Crunch’s title should be CAPS LOCK-ing Crunch, instead.

From almost any other cereal brand, I’d be concerned about such a zany flavor idea. But since Cap’n Crunch is the same guy who once casually brought us an exploding volcano cereal, I’d trust him even if he debuted “Cap’n Crunch’s Hot Garbage Juice Crunch.”

No word on when (or even if) Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch will see the light of day, but my guess would be early to mid-summer. And when it does arrive?  You’d better believe I’ll have a bowl of melted orange sherbet ready to pour it in.

What do you all think of this possible new flavor?

Posted by . Categories: News. Tags: , , . 7 Comments