I bet you expected me to start this review off with a snarky Christmas pun, right? Well to completely subvert your expectations, allow me to pose you a question:
Do you remember that episode of Yu-Gi-Oh where the villainous Maximillion Pegasus traps Yugi’s grandpa in soulless, unmoving card?
Though I’m sure the majority response to my question will be “Of course not: I have better uses for my brain’s real estate than oddly specific memories of early 2000s children’s cartoons,” this reference is appropriate for reviewing 2015’s rendition of Cap’n Crunch’s annual Christmas Crunch offering.
Why?
Because the gosh darn box refuses to change or have any soul!Continue reading →
Are you hungry to unwrap a couple early Christmas presents? Well look no further than the latest two entries we want to share from modern day cereal Santa Claus Gabe Fonseca’s (by “cereal Santa Claus, I mean in terms of giving great gifts, not in terms of appearance, of course 😉) Cereal Time YouTube series. Cereal Time provides a list of nostalgic and fun cereal tribute videos that’s longer than Santa’s naughty list after Happy Hour.
The first video to share is about a very special box of Honey Nut Cheerios. And no, I don’t mean that lucky box of Cheerios that you ate for breakfast on the same morning you won $500 on a scratch off ticket.
I’m sure that video’s coming later.
No, this rare box of HNC was made with genuine Florida honey and was released as a tie-in with a recent campaign in which General Mills made a “living billboard” filled with bees (sounds like the start of a bad Nicolas Cage horror movie). These boxes were given out to a select few lucky recipients, including Gabe. You’ll have to watch to see what he thinks of this now mythic, one of a kind honey talisman!
Oh, and guess who’s still unhappily buzzing about not getting a box? Continue reading →
I’m still trying to treat my tongue gingerly after the unexpected burn from the ginger land mines it had the misfortune to provoke while eating Trader Joe’s Cranberry Gingerbread Granola earlier this week. But now the mysterious, faceless Trader Joe is serving up a steamy bowl of oats that contains not just single ginger or double ginger, but triple ginger!
That’s like, “you must be over 18 in order to eat this” levels of ginger. (Side note: I wouldn’t recommend searching for “triple ginger” with Google SafeSearch off. Things will get steamy for a whole different reason).
Regardless, it’s time to expose my tongue to all 3 degrees of ginger, even if that means exposing it to 3rd degree burns, too.
No Joker-ing around here, folks! Coming in just in time to promote the upcoming Batman vs. Superman movie, General Mills has released two new cereals, one for each of the two titular heroes.
So call Alfred over and have him pour you a bowl of Batman cereal, which has chocolate and strawberry flavored bats (even though they look more like brown X-wings!). I was wondering where Count Chocula and Franken Berry went now that Halloween is over: they must have merged their life essences together for this cereal. Somewhere, the left out Lex Boo-ther is brooding.
And speaking of Superman, the Man of Steel gets his own cereal, too, though it hopefully doesn’t contain any actual steel (35% of my daily iron will suffice). These little tan, Chaos Emerald-shaped pieces are caramel flavored. I can only assume their mission is to take down Cap’n Crunch’s current monopoly on the caramel cereal market. Look out, Cap’n: your empire is about to be…a-salted.
These cereals were spotted by Toronto Batman himself at his (presumably Gotham City-based) grocery store. I’m sure he pushed all of Superman’s cereal boxes to the back, too. I mean, a guy’s gotta get whatever strategic advantage he can when his opponent is nearly invincible!
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
In the checkout lane, my bought milk is glistening.
A fruity sweet sight, I’ll be eating tonight:
Chalkin’ in a Winter Blast ‘mallow land!
Good luck topping that instant classic, Michael Bublé! That’s right, my fellow cereal-loving, holiday-hyping friends, today’s seasonally appropriate review will be of Froot Loops with Winter Blast Marshmallows, a new offering from Kellogg’s for 2015 that takes the Froot Loops we all know and love (to chug down with milk!) and pairs them with little white and blue winter chalk nuggets…I mean marshmallows!
But what do these “Winter Blast” marshmallows have that differentiates them from regular Froot Loops with Marshmallows, or even with this past October’s Halloween Froot Loops with Skeleton Marshmallows? I know you’re shaking with anticipation, so please just watch the entirety of this video, and then I’ll tell you! Continue reading →
I love gingerbread. I’m saying it now. I’m saying it in short, staccato sentences. I love gingerbread men. I love gingerbread houses. I love the character of Gingy in the Shrek films. I insist people call me “Gingerbread Dan” around Christmastime. I’d give up an arm and a leg of my own if it meant getting the chance to bite the arms and legs off of a discontinued Kemps Gingerbread Man ice cream sandwich again.
I love their earthy color. I love the blend of spices. I love the molasses. But most of all, I love the sadistic joy of tearing a soft, pliable sugar man limb from tasty limb all in the name of holiday spirit. Please mention that last sentence in my eulogy.
To any cereal company reading this, I have only 3 words: Gingerbread. Cereal. PLEASE.
I’ve campaigned for gingerbread flavored cereals before to no avail. So that’s why when I heard about Trader Joe’s new Cranberry Gingerbread Granola, my heart started pumping faster than the Gingerbread Man’s when he’s running away from those who chase him. But will this mix of “whole grain oats with dried cranberries, ginger, and wintry spices” be a winter win? Continue reading →
As the days get shorter, the names of all the Quaker oatmeal products out there keep getting longer. And while I may be about a month late on the “autumnal apple cinnamon” trend, I thought I’d toss out another oatmeal review for all of you out there who want to snuggle up by the fire with a warm bowl of mushy ‘meal.
So allow me to introduce the possibly new (who really knows when these things are new anymore? I think there are more Quaker oatmeal varieties than there are actual Quakers) Quaker Real Medleys Steel Cut Apple Pear Pecan Flavor Oatmeal!
Hey, these are steel cut! And steely is a synonym for cold-blooded! You know what else is cold?
Snow!
There’s the obvious winter connection. Phew, now I’m off the hook for being so late.
I bet you expected me to start this review off with a snarky Christmas pun, right? Well to completely subvert your expectations, allow me to pose you a question:
