When I saw reports of these “New” Cap’n Crunch Treats, I got some serious déjà chew, and suddenly I was transported back to the strange, alien world of 2013. Back then, I was but an innocent student with an X-treme nacho cheese chip on my shoulder—classic college prank, real funny, guys—and this blog was still a twinkle in my cereal-scarfing eye.
The Crunch Berry and Peanut Butter Crunch Cap’n Crunch Treats of that era were just about identical looking to the above ones, which hit stores this month—albeit with box art featuring the Cap’n making the two halves of his Treat kiss, instead of the intimidating “here comes the plane” drizzle he’s doing today.
But the fact of the matter is that these Treats, while no doubt delicious, are not new. In fact, the idea of Cap’n Crunch Bars has existed since the late ’90s. I can’t blame Quaker for treat-ing these like they’re new, though. I mean, who among us, besides the anal-retentive breakfast bloggers, can keep track of which cereals have passed the BAR exam? At this point, the mutualistic amalgamation of cereal pieces into a single, stronger organism just feels like a natural stage in any cereal’s evolutionary lifecycle. Though I will note, interestingly, that these Cap’n Crunch Treats appear to use pieces of various sizes—giving them the exotic geologic appearance of riverbed minerals.
How might such a sedimentary strategy affect their taste? I’ll have to find out, assuming I can find these tempting Cap’n Crunch Treats.
