Aw, Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats? Gimme a break…

…fast! Because my sheer carnal desire to fangoriously devour more of these rosy rectangular prisms will require a total break from adult responsibility—nay, from reality altogether. Before even getting into it, yes: Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats are really good. I finally found them at Walmart, sold by the phat stack:

Call me the fourth little pig, because I'm about to build a house pic.twitter.com/uJQK6CPEA2

— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) July 13, 2021

Sadly, these aren’t literal yard-stick length Kit-Kats, but are instead 12 snack-sized Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats lined up. Drat, right? Now when buying these there’s more impetus to share your bite-sized booty instead of just wielding one like a Kit-Kutlass.

But aye—I say, as this sudden spirit of swashbuckling similes washes over me—I shall delay this review no longer: it’s time to tell you why Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats have me hooked.

Well, because they taste like fruity cereal, duh!

Problem is, I can’t really say exactly which one. The fruity cereal goodness evoked by each tooty-fruity-jelly-bean-lookin’ Kit-Kat here feels like an intentionally vague amalgam, rather than a direct confectioner’s facsimile of a specific well-known cereal. Despite the generic bowl of Frooted Hoops on their packaging, Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats seem to taste like Froot Loops least of all.

I’d say, to my sugar-seasoned taste buds, Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats taste like an equal blend of Fruity Pebbles, Trix, and milk. The milky sweet-creaminess is probably the most forward taste note—don’t expect any chocolaty flavor here—which opens into the main, Pebbles-esque body of each bite. Whereas something like Froot Loops likewise has an aggressively artificial (but no less pleasant) candied fruit flavor to it, Froot Loops has more of a tropical tinge compared to the all-out made-up berry blast present in these Kit-Kats.

Finally, after that explosive main flavor comes a citrusy aftertaste that calls to mind the lemony–orangey zest of Trix. Granted, this entire milky–Pebbled–Trixotean journey occurs in the blink of a taste bud, but the breadth of Fruity Cereal goodness here is what makes these Kit-Kats so addictive. Unless you hate fruit flavor or are just really craving chocolate, you’ll probably really enjoy Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats, too. They make a great individual indulgence or a novel crowd pleaser. Worst case, if you somehow feel this gimmick wears out its welcome, you’ll have no trouble gifting them to other eager candy lovers.

While American, Hershey-made Kit-Kats still have a long way to go to match Nestle’s international smorgasbord of weirdly awesome Kit-Kat flavors, this is a step in the right direction. If nothing else, Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats are better suited to be called “the official candy bar of breakfast” than Reese’s Fast Breaks—who I only gave that honorary title one time so I could justify nibbling on one over my morning coffee. Now I’d rather just have a Fruity Cereal Kit-Kat steeped in a bowl of strawberry milk…and probably pass out by noon.

Speaking of a siesta, I feel like I’ve written enough to earn a break. Or two. Or twelve.

The Bowl: Fruity Cereal Kit-Kats

The Breakdown: A brilliant triumvirate of creaminess, Fruity Pebbles and Trix flavors, these Kit-Kats are tempting, toothsome, and deeply compelling. They don’t have the universal appeal of a chocolate-based flavor, but your mouth will likely be too full to notice.

The Bottom Line: 9.5 rightfully earned rose-colored glasses out of 10