Review: Toasted Coconut Cheerios

New Toasted Coconut Cheerios Review Cereal Box

Listen, I’ve been cereal blogging for four and a half years now. After about two, adjectival creativity gets tough.

I mean, even for a concept as broad as cereal, there aren’t that many words to clearly convey its flavor without getting too hokey—which I still do, to the point of putting the wrong words in and taking the right words out before I shake the sentence all about.

Sweet. Buttery. Toasted. Crunchy. I pray for anyone who’s been diligently reading long enough to count how many times I’ve even stooped to using more idiosyncratic descriptors like “hedonistic,” “sugar soaked,” or “droolbending.”

Actually, wait, I should use that last one more.

Regardless, if cereal adjectives get stale, then specific flavor words are even worse. For example, after reviewing a lengthy patchwork of pumpkin spice products, I feel obligated to pay the hyphen in pumpkin-y overtime. And that’s nothing compared to the fines I owe Merriam Webster for unlicensed neologizing.

But there’s pumpkin spice, and then there’s coconut. At least PS has like five constituent spices I can rely on to split cloven hairs: once I use the phrase coconutty in this review, it’s all over for me…and there you have it. I’m all out of ideas. Well anyway, Toasted Coconut Cheerios are good. See you in the next one!

New Toasted Coconut Cheerios Review Cereal

Just kidding. I’m sure I can find a way to more genuinely describe just how good these limited edition Cheerios really are.

There have been many other serendipitously blossoming Cheerios, and in general they all succeed. Pumpkin Spice and Strawberry are seasonal favorites, while Blueberry and Peach were just juicy enough to earn a tasteful back-country shack in the recesses of my memory. Yet even though I’m not a huge coconut nut—there was always a forgotten mound of Mounds left at the bottom of my trick-or-treating pail—I feel Toasted Coconut Cheerios blow the rest away.

Why? Because they’re much more like Macaroon Cheerios than any more floral or tropical coconut confection.

Each unassuming beige ring retains the wholesome, unparalleled density of any other Cheerio—a hearty oat-richness that has been all but chintzily eviscerated from cereals these days. And rather than cropdusting their oaten harvest with clumps of heart-palpitating flavor powder, General Mills smartly opted for a baked in, lightly glazed on coconut flavor—making it an authentically toasted and intriguingly understated accent for the oats.

With this sweet, crunchy, toasted, and yes, buttery coconut glaze, Toasted Coconut Cheerios could feature a lei-wearing Buzz the Bee and simply position itself as Coco-Nut Cheerios alongside Honey Nut. Just as Honey Nut Cheerios isn’t for those seeking an aggressively almond’d cereal, Toasted Coconut Cheerios may not appeal to those Almond Joyful few who need their teeth to be wedged milk-tight with real slivers of baker’s coconut. But for those who appreciate the finer things in life (in the “fine print” sense of the word), this cereal is irresistibly charming in its mouthwatering minimalism.

New Toasted Coconut Cheerios Review Cereal Milk

And if it’s mouthwatering dry, Toasted Coconut Cheerios is positively droolbending when in milk. Obviously, pairing it with coconut milk is a no-brainer, but no matter what you pour on Toasted Coconut Cheerios, the silky endmilk left behind will put the MOO in Macaroon Juice.

Though its seasonality is a couple months past sizzling vacation season, Toasted Coconut Cheerios still feels autumnal. It’s a cozy baked good that is nevertheless underbearing, making it perfect for either munching it in tune with crunching leaves, or spooning directly from a hollowed-out gourd. If I could make Toasted Coconut a permanent Cheerios flavor at the expense of another, you’d better believe I’d be express shipping Very Berry and Fruity Cheerios to Abu Dhabi, all so Toasted Coconut can have double the presence.

Well, and so it can save a place for Peanut Butter Cheerios to make its prodigal return.


 

The Bowl: Toasted Coconut Cheerios

The Breakdown: Though not as overtly coconutty as smoothie fans may suspect, these homey hoops are masters of more universally belovable baked-in delight. If you like piña coladas they may not be for you. But I’d get caught in the rain with a box of Toasted Coconut Cheerios any day.

The Bottom Line: 9.5 boxes of Kraft Macaroony & Cheerios out of 10

10 responses »

  1. The only thing I the about limited items is that when you find something you really like it disappears. I bought a box of coconut Cheerios and loved them, but I only got one bowl, because so did my son’s girlfriend. She ended up taking the box home with her because she liked them so much. I have looked at my local store and haven’t found them again. They are the best! I could eat them everyday!!!!! When I find them I will be buying a case! This is one limited edition you need to make permanent!

  2. I’ve read article after article about these Cheerios; I’ve been hunting. The articles say, “hit the shelves in November.” So, here I am, on November 30th; Walmart-no, Publix-no, Rouses-no, and Target-no. This is a WT___ moment. Anyone has any suggestions in Mobile, Alabama; besides “online”….let me know!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *